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Just for Grandparents Here is a special place for all our proud grandparents to share their stories with us and other grandparents.

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  #21 (permalink)  
Old 05-13-2009, 11:36 AM
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Will keep you & your family in my prayers that all will out for the best for all concern.
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  #22 (permalink)  
Old 05-13-2009, 07:26 PM
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My DD called me today between sessions and acted like nothing had happened. She wanted me to get some files for her from the town I live in as she is trying to get medications for DGS. I point blank asked her why she couldn't get it herself. She said she thought I knew. I said I did not. She said that they got their van reposed so they had no vehicle. She tried to act like she was paid up on her payments and that the company that held the loan on her van was screwing her around. Whatever. Anyway, I asked if I could take the kids to the Ups movie on the 29th. She said as long as it worked with HER schedule. (I cannot be with the kids unsupervised.) I talked to the GKs and they both cried that I haven't seen them in awhile. It broke my heart. They wanted to know when I could come to my place. I told them anytime their mother allowed them to come. I am going to request that my DD pay her own way to the movies. That way, it is HER that is denying her kids access to Nana. Or she'll pay her own way. It is such as odd situation.
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Old 05-14-2009, 09:38 AM
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DeBora, I hope you get to see the kids. Refusing to let you see then without supervision is unreal. It should be the other way around.
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Old 05-14-2009, 09:58 AM
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I made a decision last night after talking to a friend. I may talk to my boss as she is very good at stuff like this.

Way back when I offered to take temp custody of the kids so we could put them on our insurance and CPS would get off my DD's back, I got accused to wanting to raise the GKs. My DD said that the other grandma wanted the kids and SHE wanted to take care of things.

This time, I was accused of calling CPS, wanting the kids for myself, only being around them supervised, and being called a "B" a "Wh" and a "Sl." I decided that when my DD calls me wanting me to run errands for her and pick her up to take her places (because the other grandma refuses) I am going to tell her that I do not think it is a good idea because I am in fear of being accused of doing bad things with the kids and I don't want anyone to think I am trying to take the kids. Also, I will state that the other grandma wanted the kids, so maybe they should ask her to take her on errands. I have to protect myself. But, whenever they are ready to let me be a grandma and not accuse me of things I did not do, I will be more than willing to do things for the kids. My DD is having marital problems so I am sure she needs her mommy, but she choose the other grandmother, whom she called CPS on. We'll see what she says when and if she calls.

I told her that I wanted to take the kids to see Up on the 29th, but she insists that she has to go. I am going to remind her how much it costs to get into the movie and that she'll need to bring her own food and drink. If she wants to tag along as a chaperone because her DH does not trust me, then she can pay her own way.

This whole thing is making me sick!
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Old 05-14-2009, 01:30 PM
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My heart breaks for you. I know what it is like going to bed at night and being unable to sleep for worrying about your dd. My sister said to me once, you don't think she is lying in her bed worrying every night, do you? That smartened me up a bit, but it took a lot of praying and patience to have things turn out better.
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Old 05-14-2009, 02:09 PM
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I just talked to a minister friend of mine who is also a psychologist. He really helped me a lot! He said as painful as it is, I need to not worry about what I cannot control. I need to distance myself from them unless my DD is willing to let me do something. This is a time for me to turn it over to God and pray for them daily.

He said that I need to concentrate on the things that I can control like my marriage and school.
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Old 05-15-2009, 07:49 AM
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DeBora, I am so sorry for all that you are going through. I have absolutely no idea why cps would allow so many days for drug testing. Why can't a social worker just drop by their house and ask for a sample right there and then??? I hope the meeting with your attorney went well. You have a lot of documentation. You also might want to talk to your dgd's teacher to see if she would be willing to give a statement as well since your dgd has often fallen asleep in class. I am so sorry your sil is punishing the children by not letting them see the one person who has been their rock though it all. Keep us posted!! (and do you know who actually did call cps?)
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Old 05-15-2009, 08:16 AM
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I would also check with the teachers. I hope everything works out for you, our GK are such precious jewels. I also have never heard of giving an advance warning for drug testing. I would want to ck into that!
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Old 05-15-2009, 08:58 AM
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CPS did call my DD during their last call and told her they wanted to do an on the spot mouth swab for drug testing. My DD ran and told the case manager that she had to work. Nobody ever asked her for proof that she had a job as she did not. That alone should have given them a reason to suspect something. One of her urine tests came back diluted, which raised further suspicion. The DGS's teeth are so rotten, that the dentist thinks they may be rotting into the perm teeth, but won't know for sure until he does X-rays and sees a surgeon. My DD had an appointment with the surgeon on March 23rd when CPS dropped the case with "physical abuse" unfounded. I asked the case manager about that and she said that she said that my DD had an appointment with the surgeon. I said that she has made many appointments with the surgeon, but she cannot KEEP the appointments. She said that if she does not keep the appointment to call her back. I told her that I was not going to call back as if she couldn't protect the kids the first time, why would I put them through it again. Plus, the first time, nobody ever interviewed the kids, teachers, or anyone else. If they had interviewed me, they would have discovered that I had the kids during most of the entire time they were investigating the case. If they had interviewed the teacher, they would have discovered that I was bringing DGD to school and picking her up from school, most of the time during a 1 month period of time.

It really is sad when we will not or can not protect the children and future of our country. It really sickens me to hear how my DD talks to my DGD. That is why I am going to distance myself. I think the other grandma is going to get tired to doing ALL the driving for my SIL to go to work, take DGD to school and back, cook for their family, pay for all the rent, food, and electricity, and so on. She is very ill with COPD, some lung disease, and so on. Plus, she cannot afford to take off work to go on disability. I bet she is going to reach her limit too. I don't think she is healthy enough to continue taking care of multiple families, hers, my DD's, and her other son's.

Oh well, I can only turn it over to God now and pray. Hopefully, I will pray hard enough every day that maybe God will intervene.
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Old 05-15-2009, 10:45 AM
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DeBora I too will pray that the Lord wiil keep you dgk's safe & put them in a loving caring place such as yours because I know you will do the right thing for the dgk's.
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