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  #91 (permalink)  
Old 07-19-2009, 10:36 AM
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Debora, with you & DH having the gkids, they will be much better off. I know it will probably be hard on you financially, but you will find a way to raise them. Does your state help you out with finances? Some states will pay a certain amount each month for each child. I know you would rather do it on your own, but it would make it a little bit easier on your finances.
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  #92 (permalink)  
Old 07-19-2009, 11:46 AM
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The state can put them on Medicaid, but they have to have legal custody of the children in order to do that because they cannot get Medicaid for the family, that would include my DD and SIL. If the state seeks custody, then I would not be able to get custody until they decide to remove parental rights, which could take 12-24 years. During that time, I would have to stay in the state of Texas and not be able to move to OK to be with my DH. However, Wednesday will make 6 weeks that I have had the children and my DD has numerous excuses as to why she does not have the paycheck stubs so that the children can get on Medicaid. I can pay for everything else, rent, clothes, food, and so on. However, I cannot afford the expensive asthma breathing treatments that he needs and I cannot afford the really, really, really, expensive dental appointment for DGS that will be even more expensive. I have medical insurance, but I cannot put the children on the insurance unless I have legal custody. DD won't give me legal custody and I cannot file for legal custody in my state until I have had the children for at least 6 months, which will be in December.

At first, I told the investigator to please give me until December to file for custody. She told me that she would not, but when the case is given over to FBSS, another part of CPS which handles longer terms cases which haven't been resolved due to the fact the parents aren't complying, she could not guarantee that they wouldn't seek custody. Now, I have told her that DGD has a doctor's appointment on Friday and the following Monday DGS has a dental appointment and that she could do whatever she needed to for the sake of the children. I will just have to make the necessary sacrifices for the children, which may mean staying in Texas for a lot longer than I would like.

So, now we wait. If DD does not get Medicaid by Thursday and if the state does not do anything to help pay medical expenses, I will have to cancel the appointments. I have informed DD of this as well as the state. Everyone knows that I have limits without legal custody. The state cannot remove parental rights or give me custody until they have given the parents every single opportunity to change. They have to convinence a judge that the parents were given tools and changes to improve and chose not to improve and will probably never improve. DGD wants her Mommy to come over tonight to watch a special program with her. DD told her that she'd try to get a ride over here. I doubt my DD will come. I told DGD that if Mommy couldn't come, I would watch it with her. At least, when all is said and done, the children will remember that Nana went and got Mommy and Daddy so that they could see their children. They will know that Mommy and Daddy did not do enough to keep the family together and that Nana is there for them.

I cannot wait until this is all over and I can make sense of my future. DH and I have had our future planned since we got married 30 years ago. So far, every thing that we have planned as gone as planned. Now, we are going to have to adjust our plans, but we aren't sure how to adjust them until we know how things will end. I did discuss with my sister yesterday that if I get custody I plan on asking the judge to require the parents to come to OK to get the kids for visitation as I suspect that if I am the first to bring the kids to see the parents, the parents will not bring them back. But, if they are required to make the first move in order to see their children, they may never see the children. I do not want to make the trips back and forth. I am will to go pick them up after the trip. I also plan on asking the judge for a hair follicle test on both parents before deciding on the visitation issues. If both parents test positive for drugs, I would request that we might meet in Dallas somewhere and the parents would see their children supervised by a third party. I say if I get custody because if the parents do not do what the state requires at some point, the state will have a judge remove parental rights. Then, it probably won't be a matter of getting custody but rather a matter of adopting. As far as the children go, no matter what happens, the children will stay with me the entire time.
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  #93 (permalink)  
Old 07-19-2009, 02:48 PM
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Debora, I wish the states could cut through some of the red tape & let you seek permanent custody. The kids are the ones that are suffering, not the parents. The parents know you are taking care of the kids, so they wait around til the last minute. CPS already know that the parents weren't taking proper care of the children, so it's so dumb to go through all of this. I'm praying this will all end soon & you will finally get permanent custody.
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Old 07-19-2009, 03:59 PM
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I really do not know what the state law in Texas is in regards to removing parental rights as the law changed last September 1st due to the situation with the religious group in which the state removed over 400 children without knowing the whole story about 1 particular child that I think they didn't even know whether or not she existed. I do know that if the state plans to remove children, they must now call ahead of time and warn the parents. That gives parents time to kidnap their children. I also know things are more lenient. I do know CPS has to give the parents time to get their acts together. I am not for sure, but I think that the next step is for the state to step in and have the parents take parenting courses so that they'll know and understand that what they are doing, or not doing, is damaging their children. Since they both have tested positive for drugs, I would not be surprised if they would be required to enter rehab for drug abuse. There is no telling what will come next for the parents. Nothing will change for myself or the children, except that I may have to stay connected to Texas until everything is official. Ultimately, unless a miracle happens and my DD and SIL decide to change, almost overnight, the children will be raised by me.

It is just shocking to me how my DD has dealt with this since she was raised better than that. I understand cognitively why she isn't. My heart doesn't understand. I think things are different when it's our families that are involved.

DD and SIL got a ride over here tonight to visit the kids again which is shocking. SIL was pitching a plastic knife to DGS to teach him to catch. I had to get after him for that as I do not allow the GKs to throw things in the home. Also, I don't think it is a good idea to teach the kids to throw knives, plastic or otherwise. DD is itching and scratching all over. She complains about how hot it is, which are both signs are opiate abuse. So, I am watching the parents very carefully. They are currently watching a show in television. One thing I have noticed is that DD yells so much at the kids, both yesterday and today. She hasn't done that in quite a while.
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