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Just for Grandparents Here is a special place for all our proud grandparents to share their stories with us and other grandparents.

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  #21 (permalink)  
Old 01-19-2007, 03:37 PM
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I Have Babysat For My Grandaughters For The Last 3 Years. My Daughter Does Not Pay Me. She Does Pick Up Things For Me Though To Show Her Appreciation. There Are Times Though That I Wish She Would Offer. I Babysit 5 Days A week Between 8-10 Hours A Day. I Have Loved Being With My Girls Seeing Them Grow Up. Though Sometimes It Would Be Nice For Her To Offer. I Babysat For My Grandson And Got Paid From The State When His Mom Worked When He Was Little. But This Is Different .there Are 2 Working Parents Vs A Single Mom I Feel Conflicted...
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  #22 (permalink)  
Old 01-19-2007, 03:58 PM
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I don't know if I have replied to this one yet or not but it has been a while if I have.

I do agree that Grandparents should be paid or repaid in some way--be it monetary or repaid by their child doing housework for them, cooking or baking for them, shuttling them around to where they need to go.....something worked out between the 2 parties where the grandparent doesn't feel taken advantage of.

My Mom would babysit for us once in a while when I live in PA so that my DH and I could go out for a night. In return, I would cook dinner for her. I would also take her to yard sales with me....little things that would let her know that I really appreciated what she was doing.

My sister, on the otherhand, thinks that because she is a single mother with a low-paying job, that my mother should automatically take on the job of watching her kids when she has to work late. She throws such a guilt trip on my Mom. There are times when I get so upset with the stories my Mom tells me that I swear I could reach through the phone from here in NC and strangle my sister!

I understand being stuck in a financial situation where you might not be able to pay right away but I do think that you must provide help in other ways then. For example, My Mom asked my sister to help her clean her mini blinds and hang up her winter drapes. My Mom is 75 and a tiny, 95 lbs soaking wet. (No, I didnt inheritate the weight gene from her. ) Anyway, she is just to small to hang the heavy drapes. Do you know that my sis made up so many excuses and never went to help her but yet she still asks her to pick up her kids from school and watch them for her.


I didn't mean to turn this into a rant. I do believe that grandparents are a special gift and deserve to be treated in a special way!
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  #23 (permalink)  
Old 01-19-2007, 05:20 PM
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I agree grandparents should be paid when they babysit. Many nowadays take care of a child all week long ,all day long. Younger people don't realize how exhausting it is for an older person to take care of and entertain children for 8 hours of the day. They run out of things to do and when the kids do have things to do the grandparents get totally exhausted mentally as well as physically.I have watched my mother babysit for 8 years she is mentally drained....but she does do a lot she and my father pick up my niece from school every day , help with the homework and on and on and on...It's fun for me that I can help my mom with things to keep kid s busy and who would have ever thought I would have been giving advise to my mom about kids.a lot of times when they are your own children they will play in their rooms, play with neighbors when you are doing housework but it seems when a grandparent is watching them the kids have endless energy and require a lot of energy. Mom also ends up paying for hair cuts, medicines, clothes ,lunches out on a fixed income. we all know as parents how tired we can get and we are much younger. in fact in watching my mother when my son hypothetically asked if in the future I would babysit for his children I said if I get paid and he said her mom will watch them....Two people with jobs and careers should be able to pay their parents something and if they won't take the money then make sure to remember their b-days and do something special , leave what they like to drink in the refrig, surprise them with taking them out to lunch or breakfast to show them how much you appreciate them. Everyone likes to know they are appreciated. And after already investing 20 years in us playing endless hours and the long talks we owe them something more then taking 20 more without showing we appreciate the fact that they take the time and never complain . There were days my kids wore me out and I was 30 what must that tired feel like at 60+
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  #24 (permalink)  
Old 01-20-2007, 06:47 PM
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My dd nows realize the access I've been to her and the gkids. Which pleases me for those that knows me knows what I've been thur with her and the gbabies.

When she ask me to pick them up or take the gson to school when I'm not working for she has a errand to run, she will pay me for the extra gas, or pick up something for me while she is out.
She is really do a great job in being so nice and helpful to me these days, now if it will just continue..

When two or all 3 of them comes over she will bring me food for me to fed them, which helps us out when money is tight or I'm not planning on them being here.
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  #25 (permalink)  
Old 01-20-2007, 07:37 PM
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It is nice to read how everyone's mom wanted to be with their grandchildren...not in the case of my mother...when I had my first child,I was told by her that " I am not a built in babysitter",okay...I never asked her to watch my children ever...I now have 6 grandchildren of my own and cherish every minute I can spend with them...I am not treated as a babysitter but as their grandma...and I so love being a Grandma...
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  #26 (permalink)  
Old 01-21-2007, 03:15 AM
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Because my stepson left his partner when their baby was 3 months old dh and I felt a certain responsibility to help her, so we had dgs from when he was 3 months old, 3 or 4 nights every week. He was an unsettled little fellow and NEVER slept through at night so we had many sleep-deprived days. DH would sleep hours at night with dgs lying on his chest, and sometimes with me rubbing the little fellow's back or tummy. We provided all his needs when he was with us, including food, formula, disposable nappies, wipes, etc etc, and I often bought him clothes.
D-i-l sometimes gave us some cakes
or biscuits from her mum's bakery where she worked, but not regularly. And at that time she had no transport so I used to drive 15 mins to collect them, take her a further 10 mins to work then come home, feed him breakfast, dress him and the day would begin. He is 4 now and we now have him less frequently but still pay for everything. We do get a Christmas gift but not birthdays or mothers or fathers day. BUT, we just love him being here and she is a very lovely person, just very little example from home.
The other gks mum is a lazy blob and if she asks we will have the kids but she rarely asks. Again we pay for everything.
I guess we are blessed to be able to manage it and wouldn't want it any other way, but if I ever felt we were unable to continue we would say so.
I agree that what is right for your family is what you do. (BTW I am the same about paying for things for my (adult) kids, too. They get a good deal!)
Did I mention I am the only one who works full-time?
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Last edited by hemlynne; 01-21-2007 at 03:18 AM.
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  #27 (permalink)  
Old 01-29-2007, 05:28 PM
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My grandmother favor was my sister. I stayed with my grandmother when I was in the 4th grade due to doctor orders.
I loved her and I know now that she loved me in a strange way, but still my sister was her favor.
so I didn't have a role model on how to be a grandmother. What I did was what I wished my grandmother would of been to me and then I tried to be that kind of person.

This grandmother worked as hard as a man, did about anything a man could do. yet she wa friendly and wanted to know everyone. LOL... and would find it out too. LOL

My real dad's mother, I never knew, and my step dad's mother. I knew some, and what I did know she was a wonderful woman.

This weekend I did watch my gkids and my daughter paid me nicely while they were out of town for the entire weekend. I took the money without no problem.. but of course I have given to these gd's more since I have helped raise them on and off for 2 yrs and then helped my dd in many ways when they were younger.
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Old 01-30-2007, 12:04 PM
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Theresa--when I read your post, I almost fell off my chair! I thought I was the only one who had a mother like that. We (I'm one of 6 kids) were told right off the bat that she was not a babysitter! Her oldest grandchild is 11 and she has never babysat! I understand it is her decision, it is just so against the grain, others have a hard time believing it!

My mil, on the other hand, retired from her career the year I had my son. Even after I made it clear to her that I would be looking after my own children. She insisted on it "just in case"! It has been 3 1/2 years, and my kids have just in the last two weeks spent a day there! And that is because she was "lonely"--lol, she just wanted to squeeze my kids all day long!

So, for my dh and I, when we go out at night and they babysit, we don't pay them. However, if it were to be a daily need, then they should absolutely get paid! After all, grandparents have lives too, and should be compensated for giving them up 8-10 hours a day, 5 days a week!
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Old 01-30-2007, 12:26 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by janelle
Theresa--when I read your post, I almost fell off my chair! I thought I was the only one who had a mother like that. We (I'm one of 6 kids) were told right off the bat that she was not a babysitter! Her oldest grandchild is 11 and she has never babysat! I understand it is her decision, it is just so against the grain, others have a hard time believing it!
Janelle...I thought I was the only one who had a mother like mine...my mother would not watch my kids even if I paid her $100.00 an hour,now my 2 sisters have 3 kids each and she loved and watched them all the time...I know what you mean about others having a hard time believing it...until they actually live it or see it they can't understand why...My children grew up knowing their grandmother did not like them and did not want to spend any amount of time with them...just as I grew up knowing my mother was not a nice person...

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Last edited by BuddyBeanieBaby; 01-30-2007 at 12:29 PM.
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  #30 (permalink)  
Old 06-14-2007, 08:30 PM
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don't know how I missed this thread so far.
When we lived near my parents, my mom watched my dd until we put her in daycare. While we worked we paid my mom for daycare, if we went out for a movie or dinner then she babysat for free-even for a friend of ours. We did try to do nice things for her though. Then they moved away.
When we moved to be closer to them-15 years later-we actually moved in with my parents-7 of us in a 3 bedroom double wide. i ended up working nights, my dh had a varied schedule-mostly days though and my mom watched our girls. She kept the house, made sure homework was done, assigned them chores to do.
Now, with my dgk's. We have two living with us-along with my dd (their mom) and our sil. I babysit occasionally for them, but my dd is usually home. She takes care of the house for us while the rest of us work. She and I split cooking and washing up-although she does do the majority of it and I try to pick up some slack when I'm off-it's hard though if I have to be in town all day with my parents dr. appts. I (we) have offered to watch my dgs's and newest dgd, although we don't see them often enough. My dgs's live 2 hours away and it's hard to go see them, while it seems that it would be easier for them to come see us-it doesn't happen. We're presently hoping to have the boys for a week this summer, but I'll have to cross my fingers for that since it looks like their dad will have them for summer visitation(praying he doesn't take into his head to take them out of state).
Anyway, for me the answer to the question is-if the parent is working, then I would expect to get paid if I was a daycare all week. For an occasional night out, I wouldn't charge at all.
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