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Infants Every little coo, every little finger and toe. Who can resist babies. What are your thoughts and concerns?

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Old 08-19-2005, 09:14 PM
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Help! My baby will not sleep, rest, or let me either!

I am posting this for my DD who does not have the Internet and is at her wits end! I would like to post this problem for her, in her words, with her permission. I told her that everyone here is so helpful and she may find others who have experienced the same problem. I just wish I could help her. It is hard being a mother when your DD calls crying because she is just so worn out and doesn't know what to do. I will leave off my advice to her for now as I am curious as to what others have to say. This is not a problem I myself have esperienced as my own babies were too good. They never cried exept when they were hunry, tired, or needed changing. (Sometimes they got a little spoiled and they cried and I would have to do a little unspoiling. lol)

Thank you for your time everyone.

"Help! I am exhausted because of my 8 week old son. Nothing makes him happy. He doesn't sleep much. I try to put him in a swing and he is happy for awhile and then he cries. I've tried feeding him, changing him, and singing to him--nothing works. He seems restless and cranky. I cannot hold him and rock 24/7. I try to put him down and let him cry, but the crying is difficult to listen to after awhile. I have tried dangling new colorful toys in his mobile for him to play with and it seems to help satisfy him--temporarily! At any rate, he doesn't have colic and doesn't seem to be in any pain. All I know is I am to the point that I am so extremely tired and need some advice as to what to do before I lose my mind! I also have a 2 year old. Please help me--I'm open and appreciative of any suggestions that will help this baby sleep on a schedule or just plain SLEEP or lay and let me put something in front of him or something so that I can get some things done. Thank you very much. Summer, mother of Capricè and Elmer."
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Old 08-20-2005, 04:26 AM
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Does he have gas, the baby drops might help releave some pressure when he lays down.

His he content if big sister is playing next to him and talking to him? It sounds like he doesn't want to be alone and notices after a couple of minutes that Mom isn't devoting all his time to him.

If he isn't hungry, wet/dirty, in pain you might need to let him cry it out to get used to playing without Mom right there. Adding a few minutes to the time you let him cry each time until he realizes Mom will come back.

Roberta
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Old 08-20-2005, 08:56 AM
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My daughter was born when my son was 2 years old, so I totally know the feeling! I thought I was getting old because I was so sleepy but I think I was spoiled too because my son slept through the night at 8 weeks. I tried everything as well but my daughter would not go to sleep. But finally, someone suggested that perhaps she had gas. I never got those gas drops I've heard about, but I started burping her better and more and sure enough it worked. After that change, she slept through the night, for a few months. Around 9 months, she kept waking up through the night, wouldn't go back to sleep, and she had red rashes all over. I found out she has eczema and she was so itchy. We got that under control after we found out. She's 2 1/2 now, and every once in while she will wake up in the middle of the night but I think it's because she needs to use the potty or she had a bad dream. Anyway, good luck!
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Old 08-20-2005, 09:05 AM
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I just remembered something else that helped. My daughter's doctor also said that if you keep a newborn baby up for too long, the baby will be too tired to go to sleep. So that was another reason why my daughter wouldn't go to sleep. I was thinking maybe if I kept her up longer, she would be so sleepy and sleep through the night. But it occurred to me after her doctor told me that, sometimes if I'm up too long, I get too tired to go to sleep. Her doctor told me to put her in her crib, no where else, about every 2 hours after waking. Newborns need a lot of sleep. That worked too! So on top of the gaseous tummy, she was too exhausted from lack of sleep! No wonder! Anyway, after got those fix, she was able to fall asleep pretty easily.

It's amazing how kids are so different because I didn't have this trouble with my son. When he was sleepy, he fell asleep.

Anyway, hope that helps.
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Old 08-20-2005, 09:28 AM
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Been a long for me, but can remember things like this! First I would take the baby to the doctor to rule out ear infections, colic and others things that just might not be obviuos.

If that checks out and you KNOW the baby is fed, dry, and all the usual things place him in his crib and set up a crib routine for the baby. Do the same things the same way each time you put him down even as far as what you tell him, kiss him nighty-nighty and all. Then leave the room. It is hard to listen to I know, but leave him there and let him cry it out. Start out with 10 minutes and increase each day 5 minutes more at a time. By the end of the week you should have some time build up and he may still cry here and there, but do this another week and he should start to realize Mom isn' going to pick me up every time I cry. Even if you have to sit out on your porch because you can't stand listening to the crying do so; your nerves will thank you!

As far as putting the baby down to "play " during the day we bought a non glass mirror and placed it in front of the bay so he could see himself moving and he entertained himself for a short while. Usually worked enough time for me to wash dishes, get supper going or even just sit down a minute by myself! Way back we couldn't find one so we bought mirrored acrylic and made one a door mirror size and slid it through the bars of his playpen. So no matter whre he moved he had "the other baby" to entertain him!

Good luck and hope maybe some of this will work for you!

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Old 08-20-2005, 09:47 AM
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I'd suggest getting a mother's helper to help you maybe once or twice a week, a young girl from a family you know, who can give you a rest for an hour or two. Or perhaps your mom could come and you could leave the house for an hour or so, just to recharge your battery. It is very frustrating to have children so close (I know!) but taking a little time for yourself helps you focus better. Best, Hallie, mom to 2
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Old 08-20-2005, 10:04 AM
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Originally Posted by HallieM
Or perhaps your mom could come and you could leave the house for an hour or so, just to recharge your battery.
Welcome to Family Corner Hallie!!

While I am sure that DeBora would LOVE to go help her daughter with the grandbaby, I know that is just not possible right now. DeBora is starting what I think is her final seemster of college on Monday in New Mexico and her daughter, SIL and grandbabies live in Texas.

DeBora - Has your DD discussed this problem with the baby's pediatrician? If not, I would strongly encourage her to do so. After all, he may actually have a mild form of colic.

That said, I will say that I once worked with a girl that had this problem with her third baby. The first two were angels and slept through the night before they were 2 months old. At one point she thought she was going to have to quit working (she came back as only a part-time worker after her maternity leave) because she was so exhausted. Her MIL gave her a suggestion that worked. She put on a t-shirt one Saturday morning after she finished her cleaning chores. She wore that shirt all day to get her "scent" on it. After that, whenever the baby would fuss without an obvious reason (hungry, needing a diaper change, etc..), she would put the unwashed t-shirt in the swing, playpen or crib next to him where he could "smell her scent". It seemed to do the trick and calmed him down. I'm not sure how long she had to do this. It just might work for Summer too.
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Old 08-20-2005, 10:52 AM
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I have been there and this book saved me!

I am now the mother of a 2nd son and thank goodness he is a much better sleeper at only 4 months. My first born is now 4 and would also not sleep. My mom saw Dr. Marc Weissbluth on the Today Show and I was desperate so bought his book and it really worked for me. It is called Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. It has a quick resolution section along with chapters for every age. There are also stories from real parents including one with a similar story to yours. He just redid it and his new book is even better than the previous one.

best of luck!

Christine
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Old 08-20-2005, 01:23 PM
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First of, welcoem to FC rstckm!

I knew the people at FC would have some experience and ideas. Thanks for coming through for me.

Quote:
I'd suggest getting a mother's helper to help you maybe once or twice a week, a young girl from a family you know, who can give you a rest for an hour or two. Or perhaps your mom could come and you could leave the house for an hour or so, just to recharge your battery. It is very frustrating to have children so close (I know!) but taking a little time for yourself helps you focus better. Best, Hallie, mom to 2
Yes, Abear is correct. I am a full-time college student. (I have a lot more than 1 more semester though. I can only wish I had 1. lol) I just graduated with one degree and took the summer off. I helped my DD as much as I could. I kidnapped my DGD several times this summer to help her out. Of course, I went down and helped her when the baby was born. I am now going to main campus, which is even further away than I was originally. It is really killing me that I cannot be there for her. She's also having back problems on top of everything else. (Her tail bone was broken with the first birth and is still causing her problems.) I wish she was a child again and I could just kiss is and make it better. Summer, my DD, also has a very good friend who helps her when she possibly can. But, she works and has kids of her own. My DD and her DH are extremely poor and cannot afford to hire someone to babysit. She cannot afford a "mother's day out" type thing either. One more thing about this, my DH said that he's going to try to go to TX whenever Summer needs a break. I know that he is torn between coming to see me or help with the grandbabies. I've already told him that if his daughter needs him to go ahead because I may be so busy studying that we won't be able to spend quality time with him wanyway.(She is HIS DD when she's having problems and MY DD when everything is running well. )

One suggestion is the routine thing. That was my advice to my DD. I think children need routine and structure--especially this particular child. I think children feel more secure when there is structure. I LOVE this idea from Cat lover:
Quote:
Do the same things the same way each time you put him down even as far as what you tell him, kiss him nighty-nighty and all. Then leave the room. It is hard to listen to I know, but leave him there and let him cry it out. Start out with 10 minutes and increase each day 5 minutes more at a time. By the end of the week you should have some time build up and he may still cry here and there, but do this another week and he should start to realize Mom isn' going to pick me up every time I cry. Even if you have to sit out on your porch because you can't stand listening to the crying do so; your nerves will thank you!
Cat lover, I like your play suggestions. I too talked my DD into getting out some of the colorful toys they used for the DGD and the DGS loves it.


As far as the gas goes, we thought the same thing. I hear his gas when he cries sometimes, but we have given him the "stuff" you're supposed to give him and have burped him. I really do not think it's gas. However, I hadn't thought about this:
Quote:
After all, he may actually have a mild form of colic.
Like I've said, his sister had a severe case. After I noticed how severe her pain was, I was about ready to tear into a doctor for giving her the medication. He finally did a week before she got over it. We think that because his sister had it we just automatically become experts in it. Summer doesn't think he has it because she said his tummy doesn't get hard and he doesn't draw his legs up. But, if it's a mild case, then, he may not be, as someone said--obvious!


I was around him all day yesterday and he doesn't unhappy or in pain. Just "wormy" or like he has "ants in his diaper." lol I know part of it is that he is spoiled (after all, we grandparents were there and Papa is the worst of all) and is held a lot. I like the tee shirt with "mommy smell" on it. However, I gave that suggestion to DD and she does that and did with child #1. I think it's a great one.

Quote:
...
Quote:
and she had red rashes all over. I found out she has eczema and she was so itchy. We got that under control after we found out...

Moonlight, we actually had never heard of this and it IS worth checking into. Baby Elmer's skin is always broke out. Yesterday at the park, where is was HOT, his whole body was broke out worst than normal. We took his clothes off and kept him in the shade, but nothing helped. DD asked me if she could put corizone creme on him when I told her about this possibility. I told her that I wouldn't put anything on him until the pediatrition tells her it's ok.

Quote:
Has your DD discussed this problem with the baby's pediatrician?
Cindy, DD told me that she has an appointment with the pediatrician on Monday. She is going to mention all the symptoms to her. I don't think either of us thought about the skin problems being a possible issue.

I want to thank everyone for your suggestions. I have passed all of them along to my DD. She was surprised that there was a place that had enough people that have had enough experience to be able to help. Thank you everyone.


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Old 08-20-2005, 03:18 PM
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My daughter's doc told me that she will probably be sensitive in the sun because of eczema. We have been outside, but I put a lot of sunscreen on (be sure it's for both UVA and UVB protection). Also, to keep her skin condition under control, I put Cetaphil one every morning and every night. When she breaks out some, I'll use Aquafor, which is like petroleum jelly. The doc told me to put a lot on, enough to make her slippery through your hands at night time. For the most part, she has not broken out in a long while, but be sure to keep the nails clipped. My doc also gave me a subscription that has Aquafor and a little of this steroid cream (too much steroid cream is not good for the skin because it thins out the skin) so I use that when she breaks out a lot. Whenever she gets itchy, I do use Cortizone and the doc also suggest using children's benadryl. But I don't like to use too much oral meds but if she's too itchy, then I'll give it to her. Also, I give her salt baths. I got some sea salts and just put in her bath. We can't use bubble baths for her and we also use Cheer clear detergent. She is 2 1/2 now and I've noticed that as she's gotten older, it has been easier to keep it under control. She gets itchy now and then, but she has not broken out so much like she did as a baby. Anyway, hopefully between all of you, you will be able to figure out what may be the issue with the baby.

I've done the let the baby cry if everything else seems to be all right. Yes it is hard, but that's how we got my firstborn to sleep through the night. It took 5 days and the first night took 45 mins. After that, the crying time decreased each night until the last night, he cried for a few moments. But this did not work for my daughter, so I knew it had to be something else.

Anyway, yes it is wonderful to hear everyone's experiences cuz something is bound to work!
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