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  #1 (permalink)  
Old 07-18-2005, 12:53 PM
bsktbug2's Avatar
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Question Want to be a SAHM

I am not yet a sahm, but I desperately want to be. You see, I have been working days and dh evenings for the past 5 years. We homeschool and have always split all of our duties.
Recently, dh has had the opportunity to apply for a promotion. This would give him regular day hours, decrease the hours he has to work, he'd have weekends off (I'd actually get to see him every day!!!), make a little more money, and he really really wants the job. I want him to get it, but then, what do I do?
The kids have been coming to work with me for 2 weeks now, and I thought I could handle it and the daily office grind, but it is soooo stressful. Dh won't make enough for me to actually quit working, but I feel like I'm in a dead end job . . .
Have any of you made the great leap from working full time to sahm or wahm? I don't want to do daycare - been there, done that, not again! But staying where I am and cutting back to pt doesn't seem like a possibility.
I need advice, I'm feeling lost. My kids are 7, 4, and 1.5 HELP
A messy house and happy children . . . I choose to spend my days playing!
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Old 07-20-2005, 03:08 PM
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Hi bsktbug2

I don't have any huge life insights for you! Sorry.

I can understand your desire to be a SAHM. Somehow, I have managed over he years to be home, but really busy when my babies were small, and working school type hours as they have grown older, and the time I have built into their lives is, so far, my greatest achievement in life. I don't know how things work in the States, but could you take in ironing?, maybe get a part time job a couple of evenings now that dh is working days? I guess you've looked at the whole 'cutting down expenses stuff'? (A good spot if you haven't gone down that path yet is
I haven't really helped, but I wanted you to know someone had heard your q's!
Hope it all works out.
Every day we write a memory on the heart of our family. What memories did you write today?
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Old 07-22-2005, 10:51 AM
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Currently, I am a SAHM - but that is only b/c I am nine months pregnant. I have been a SAHM since March, though....

I can tell you, it is a hard transition for some - especially for those who have been working for years. I will not do the day care scene for quite a long time. I do not really feel it necessary for an infant unless you truly cannot make the time schedules work - may be when this wee one is a toddler and needs more social interaction.

I did do the DC scene with my daughter since she was 5 months old - it had its ups and downs. Mostly, we are looking to save money.

Once this baby is born, I plan to work at nights....

Some people say I have a full plate on my hands b/c I plan to work at night, be a Mom to two children, and take four college courses over the next few months. Also, my daughter will be starting Kindergarten at the end of August, so of course - I will be a Kindergarten Mommy as well.

But honestly, I love adult interaction!! I even love it more when they are Mommies and Daddies!! I am currently trying to start up an online community for Local Moms here in town - so I won't stray away from what I know I am all about...

Some say I am destined to be the "Soccer Mom", which would require me to be a SAHM.... But the way with the cost of living is going here in LV - I have to work some to help my DH out until he gets a promotion or another job that pays a little more.

I refuse to make him work two jobs and miss out on watching his children grow up!!

As for you situation.... I don't know of any WAHM programs that do not require too much work on the computer..... I tried for awhile last year, and I was on the computer more.... Then again - I tried things that didn't require money. Many programs out there that have ou put a little investment in do tend to take less time - but I am one of those SAHMs that enjoy spending more time with the children than slaving at the computer!!

If you can, try something like Avon. They now have e-sites where people can go to you locally, call you up, or order online straight from you!! You can do a few house parties, then pass out all the info, build up a good client list..... And then it wouldn't be too much of a hassle. Little paperwork involved, but compared to typing at a computer all day - I'd take that any day.

Personally, working at nights would suit me better b/c I do enjoy adult conversations as well. I also enjoy working. I am weird, I know - but at least I will be there with my children during the day - and it is a temporary fix.

Last edited by hawaiiangirl96; 07-22-2005 at 10:56 AM.
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Old 07-22-2005, 12:30 PM
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I homeschooled my 2 children who are now grown. I had to do things here and there to make extre money so that I could afford to be a SAHM. You will not find anything other than a dead-end job while you are working as a SAHM full-time. Jobs that offer opportunities do not want someone who is putting all her energy into being a home. I personally think that you will have to decide what is most important to you. If you decide on being a SAHM then you may have to settle for part-time jobs that you can work here and there and work around your children's schedules. Have you thought about working at a temp agancy? There you could work when people are ill or on vacation. That wouldn't pull you away too often, but might give you some extra money. The down side is that you will not have regular money comoing in. Oh yeah, one more thing that my children and I did together is throwing newspapers. It was a nice family project. The negitive part was that we had to collect money each month. If someone didn't pay for their newspapers, we had to eat the costs. Plus, if someone's paper got stolen or messed up, for whatever reason, I had to go back out and throw another one, at my expense. That's just my personal experience as a SAHM who also homeschooled.
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Old 07-22-2005, 03:36 PM
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I'm a WAHM and have been for 6 years now. I started selling Avon when I was pregnant with my first 9 years ago because I wanted to be home but knew my husband wasn't making enough for me not to work some. I"ve since had #2 and because of her health issues I would have lost my job if I had still be working for someone else.

I would suggest checking out the various direct sales companies to see if one fits with you and your personality. (I could not live on parties which is why Avon works for me) direct sales compamies will allow you to work 3 hours here and 5 hours there around your family life. You can schedule 2 evenings while your DH is home to make deliveries or do consulations/parties and make phone calls/paper work during the day.

If you don't think you would enjoy "sales" check with a local fast food company. When my DH went back to school pre-babies he was in college full time working part time and I picked up a part time job working 2-3 evenings 6-10 and Saturday 4-12 at a local fast food joint. They were thrilled to have me in the evening where the local gift shops didn't want my limited availablity.

use code TAKE10 for 10% off your first direct delivery order in 2019 with me!
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Old 07-24-2005, 06:56 AM
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A really great company for SAHMs is Mary Kay. You are you're own boss. You decide on what you want to make and best of all, when you want to work. I've heard so many success stories from single moms to SAHMs to working moms on what MK has done for them, how their lives have totally changed.

The company's philosophy is Faith first, family second, career third. Doesn't that say it all? MK is NOT a multi-level direct-sales company, but rather a dual-marketing company. It is the highest paid commission and all your profits go to you, none go to your upline or director or anyone else (any commision for recruiting is paid directly from the company). And you can decide to promote yourself whenever you want. That includes getting a free career car or cash compensation. Can you imagine that?

The sisterhood of MK is so amazing too. You may be in business for yourself, but you are not in business by yourself. There's free training, tons of ideas, and total support from sister consultants. If you would like more info, please email me and I can tell you more [Edited] And the investment is very low to get your starter's kit: $100 (plus tax and shipping). That's it. It includes everything you need to introduce the MK skincare program to 30 faces.

When I first heard about this, I was extremely skeptical, but I trusted my friend, who is now my director. I am just so amazed with the company and especially the sisterhood. There's so much inspiration, support, love, and prizes--lots of prizes. So I've decided to promote myself and build a team too. Mary Kay started this company to enrich women's lives and after 40 years, the company still continues to enrich women's lives. Anyway, just let me know if you want to hear more and I can give you all the information you need to decide for yourself. Best wishes to you!

[Edited by moderator. Personal information such as real name, snail mail address or e-mail addresses are not allowed in posts for security reasons. That information can/should be exchanged through a PM. For any questions, please contact Abear.]
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Old 07-24-2005, 07:44 PM
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I have been a SAHM for nearly 15 years. It just kind of worked out that way when I wasn't able to go back to the job I had while pregnant with my first.

I have worked part time over the years.. But my DH works 3 jobs (1 days, one weekends and his own consulting business in the evenings)It keeps us out of debt ( most of the time) and we live in a very very small house ( 2br/1 ba, only 750 sq ft.) in a very expensive part of the country ( NYC Suburbs)

Despite the hardships, I was able to raise my kids, take family vacations with them, throw parties, send them to summer camp... all the things that have made us happier than a large house or brand new cars.

Yes there were very lean years, but we got through them, and I wouldn't trade all our memories for a more affluent life.

I did work at my own home-based business till I became more disabled.

I became a CPR instructor for the American Heart Association. They let you set your own fee structure. You invest a modest amount of money in earning your certifications, ( less than $250) and you can rent or loan manequins from local Ambulance Corps, or AHA training centers.

I began teaching courses at my home, but realized that was limiting because of the size of my house. So I started going to client's homes to teach. I expanded into Churches, Synagagues, and schools. I taught at local industries and businesses, at doctor's and dentist's offices, at summer camps, townhalls, YMCA's and police and fire departments.

It gave me the adult connections I craved, and I felt like I was doing a comunity service, all while making between $25 and $150 dollars per hour ( depending on who the client was)

I registered as a Sole Propriator, and billed myself as an educational consultant, so I didn't need to charge my clients taxes, and was able to charge at an hourly rate instead of per person. I had a sliding rate beased on client catagory.( individual, non-profot, commercial, corporate, etc,) and filed my income taxes on a 1099 basis.

I think it's something anyone can do, and since it is by apointment, you make your own hours and can hire occasional babysitters, or get family help when you need to.

you can take your older kids with you ( they can help), and I think it's a great home-business for any woman ( or man) to persue.


Ps, my now 15 year old daughter just became CPR certified. and is going for her instructorship. Now I can "hire" her to teach in my place!

Last edited by Lifestar; 07-24-2005 at 07:53 PM.
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Old 08-02-2005, 06:07 AM
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Just do it.

If it is really what you want to do then do it. you will make it work. I struggled for years to quit my job since I was making more than my hunny but when my daughter was born I just did it. Now we are not rich! lol but we manage and I think our family is better for it. I left a $40K yr salary.

I watch my niece, sell pampered chef, clean a house here and there, pet sit, etc. You can make it work.

Also cut expenses. we cut our car payments from $1200 a month to $700 a month plus living expenses, etc.
Until we "meat" again, break an "egg"

TX Chef Fran
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Old 08-12-2005, 11:01 AM
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I strongly suggest you read Joni McCoy's books "Frugal Families" & "Miserly Moms" They are full of wonderful info on being a SAHM. She even has a worksheet in MM about a working moms salary & where it really goes. I am a SAHM by choice first, disabled second. Yes money can get tight sometimes but we always made it through the lean times just fine. Might I suggest that you really look at your expenses with a magnifying glass, write down every penny that you both spend & see where it goes if you have not already down that. If you are buying convience foods that could be a big cut back when you are not working as you could cook everything from scratch. Debt pay it off ASAP! Get rid of that & you will not need as much $ each month to live on then too. Grow your own food too if you do not already. Depending on where you live plant some fruit trees too! Learn to can & freeze excess or sell it at a local farmer's market too! Hope these ideas help. My dh was amazed at how much our fuel bill went down when I quit working.
Pam, wife of Don, Mother of Scott19, Richard6, & 3 angels in heaven!!
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