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  #11 (permalink)  
Old 05-14-2005, 10:50 PM
the_panhandler's Avatar
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Good for you.Bluebird! I hope you felt better.
You know the most positive thing I can say about loving someone with bi-polar disorder is that you'll never be bored. Frustrated,yes but never bored!
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  #12 (permalink)  
Old 05-17-2005, 07:12 AM
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It seems to me that if your DH is having problems it could bring on depression. I hope things go well for you and your DH in the future Bluebird.
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Old 05-17-2005, 07:31 AM
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Dh saw the counselor and doctor last night. You gotta laugh.... I talked to the counselor on the phone yesterday and of course she has been talking to the doctor. Both are women. When I talked to dh last night, the look on his face....LOL... the doctor, counselor and I are on the same page. We see what dh is doing. I think he has been takled to about his issues. I think the counselor AND the doctor told him the same thing I have been telling him. Do this, and this and this, communitcate and learn to live with being a bo polar. It can be done. Dh can't pull the wool over everyones eyes anymore! Of course the issues with ds are getting worse. Now his counselor is thinking he may have more than one personality. I laid the law down to him and told him he needs to figure out what he is mad about and learn to LIVE with it. I will go to court and have him committed before I will stand by and allow him to live his live like my mother did. Hurting everyone in her path. because of her metal illness. I won't look the other way.
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  #14 (permalink)  
Old 05-17-2005, 08:15 AM
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Sounds like you have a handle on it if you are on the same page as the doctor and therapist. Bi-polar is difficult to live with. Does he have access to chatting with others about it? He might not feel so alone if he can talk to others about it without them knowing him personally. Maybe if he had someone to talk to who had more healing time. Anyway, it's just a suggestion.
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Old 05-17-2005, 08:15 AM
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Sounds like you have a handle on it if you are on the same page as the doctor and therapist. Bi-polar is difficult to live with. Does he have access to chatting with others about it? He might not feel so alone if he can talk to others about it without them knowing him personally. Maybe if he had someone to talk to who had more healing time. Anyway, it's just a suggestion.
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Old 05-17-2005, 02:01 PM
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Dear Connie,
My husband is bi-polar too. He takes lithium and lamictal,but resents the meds and acts like a TOTAL jerk when he isn't taking the meds.(Which he neglects a lot of times for unknown reasons) Life is ALWAYS a roller coaster. When things are good,they are very good,but when they are bad,well...they are REALLY bad. I love him with all my heart,as do our kids...but he does not realize what life is like with someone who is battling this disorder. In my heart,I know he doesn't want to be this way or I would have left long ago. All I can say is...if you love him try and bring him into the reality of the disorder,or if it is a hopeless cause,run and cut your losses....life will NEVER be easy with someone who has the disorder.
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Old 05-17-2005, 06:04 PM
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chuckle

yep,sounds about right!
You know if the things spouses (of bi-polar patients) were not so immediate many of the situations would be funny.
You gotta have a lot of love and humor to deal with it daily!
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Old 05-18-2005, 06:16 AM
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you are soooo right Panhandler! It takes a lot of patience to deal with someone who is bi-polar. I like to call it the Jeckyll and Hyde syndrome. It reminds me of that Bugs Bunny cartoon where Bugs drinks that potion and becomes a monster and then reverts again to his ole sweet self.
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Old 05-18-2005, 07:02 PM
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As someone who has dealt with these types of things my entire life (34 yrs) I have PTSD, Combat PTSD, Severe Recurrent Depression with Suicidal Tendencies & Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. ;-) Also many members of my maternal family have BiPolar, Severe Depression and OCD as well.

Being depressed can feel like you are sinking into a deep, dark hole that is slowly swallowing you while everyone around you goes on like normal. It is a very scary feeling. Very isolating - you don't feel like you can tell anyone anything about how you are feeling because if you do it will only make it all more real. If you don't talk, maybe, just maybe, it will all go away. And the second you do talk it feels as if your guts are being split apart and all you feel is the pain.

You wrote: "Ds even said that I need to spend the entire hour with his counselor with him. I told him NO. This is your illness and you need to learn to handle it."

Maybe your son is feeling overwhelmed, unsafe and alone and he wants you to go to a session so that with you there he'll feel safe. I can understand your not going to every appointment but going to at least one full session or two could help your son a great deal. He might want the "back up".

I'm not judging, just looking at the issues from a different angle. It may be his illness, but it does affect your entire family. Yes, they both need to learn how to cope and live with the disease but at the same time, they did not ask to be ill.

Being ill in this way can sometimes feel like punishment for something and you just can't figure out what you did that was so wrong that you deserve this. Or that it is punishment for just being an unloveable, horrible, ugly person. Not that these things are true necessarily, but it is how it can feel to someone in the midst of a depressive episode.

There is a really great book out called "What to do when someone you love is depressed" I know that bi-polar isn't just depression but it offers great insight and tips for most anyone who loves someone battling any mental illness. Coping methods, ways to reduce your stress, insights into their thinking.

Good luck!
Erica
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Old 05-18-2005, 08:41 PM
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Thank you Erica for your eloquent description of depression.
Many spouses of bi-polar patients fight their own depression while trying to function normally for the rest of the family. I know I do. It's real important to have a cheerleader on your side..be it doctor,family member or trusted friend.
I wish my husband's family would take the time to educate themselves instead of being judgemental. My kids,who have inherited the predisposition have never had the opportunity to get close to their relatives because of it. What a waste!
Silence doesn't make things disapear. I wish we could talk about these things like we talk about catching the flu. Maybe someday. For now I am just glad of people like you Erica who allow us to understand abit better by your honesty and struggle.


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