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Funny Things Kids Say Kids say the funniest things! Whether it's improper pronounciations or hilarious mishaps, they crack us up! What did your child say today?

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Old 01-05-2009, 05:35 PM
Amy Warwick's Avatar
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How is Grandma’s butt going to fit through the door?

After my husband and I divorced, my mother and my network of girlfriends kindly stepped up to the plate in every way imaginable to make sure that my young sons had the full love and attention that they needed to get through such a traumatic time. During that time, my mother also started menopause, which meant that there were just as many tears as there were hugs. When my son started pre-school my mother took time off work to attend the open house with Maxx and I, after which we all decided to go up the block to my best girlfriends’ house for some tea and cookies.
While standing outside the pre-school arguing over who’s car we should ride in, Maxx was looking Grandma up and down with a quizzical expression. At the age of four, with perfect little round glasses and the humor of a glass of dry white wine, I had already come to know that the quizzical look with Maxx meant a possible question or comment that should be discussed in private.
He tugged on my sleeve and said, “Mom?” I told him to wait until Grandma and I were done talking in order to delay his possibly embarrassing question until I could handle it in private, but Maxx would not be silenced. “Mom!”
I pulled his hand from my sleeve, squatted down and whispered “What?”
“Mom, how is grandma going to come into Mary’s house with us?”
The red flush of fear and embarrassment crossed my face as I know what little Brainy Smurf was thinking. In addition to the increase of tears and hugs, my poor mother had also gained a bit of weight since going through the change. Not enough to block her from a doorway, but enough to garner Maxx's attention.
I tried to blow him off and change the conversation to cookies – what I thought would be the perfect maneuver - but he would not be deterred.
With his rude little finger pointing up at down at Grandma’s backside, Maxx innocently blurts out “Mom, how is grandma going to get her big butt through Aunt Mary’s door?”
Needless to say the tears took over at that point until we showed Maxx that in fact Grandma’s butt would fit through Mary’s door. After that it was tea and cookies for Maxx and a strong bottle of wine for the rest of us!
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Old 01-10-2009, 07:11 AM
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MKS MKS is offline
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That is too cute! How sweet of your friends & family to give you support like that.
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Old 01-10-2009, 02:24 PM
Amy Warwick's Avatar
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Thank you! I did have a great support group. I wish all women had that!

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Old 03-23-2009, 07:55 AM
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So sweet story and very emotional.
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Old 03-23-2009, 05:43 PM
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Oh Amy that is so funny! And Maxx's grandma is so sweet!

When my oldest sister was pregnant, she sent a picture of her standing in a doorway, sideways, and her butt touched one side of the door jamb and her belly button was inches from the other.

When asked how she was doing at nine months, she would say, well, I can almost still fit through a doorway.

Whenever I encounter someone who is large and lamenting it, I say, well, you can visit me, I know we both will still fit through our doorways...
Ellen in PA

"God has not given us a spirit of fear; but of love, power, and a sound mind."
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Old 03-25-2009, 09:11 AM
Amy Warwick's Avatar
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Way Sweet Ellen!
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