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Friends Friends can be the lifesaving voice on the end of the phoneline, or in many cases, the end of the keyboard.

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Old 05-21-2006, 10:45 AM
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Question Should I contact an old friend?

The other day I was out shopping with my husband and while in the checkout, I saw an old friend come into the store. She had 2 kids with her about the same ages as my 2. I think she might have seen me, but she didn't look too friendly. I should have gone and said hi, but I didn't.
I haven't seen her or spoke to her for 5 years. We were best friends in high school and lived together for college. After living together for almost 2 years I got pregnant. We were only 19. We got into a fight over something I don't even remember anymore and I refused to speak to her and then I moved home to stay with my parents and haven't seen her until the other day.
I used to think about contacting her but never got the guts to. Other than my husband, she is the only other person I have ever been very close to. Not even my Mom or sister.
I know I was immature and scared over my pregnancy. I have grown up a lot since having 2 kids and she probably has too.
I don't know if she lives in town or if she is just home to visit her family, but I have considered trying to contact her through them.
I just don't know if it is a good idea. I'm not sure if it is her I miss or just the close friendship we had. My only friend lives in another province right now and my husband works all day while I stay home with our boys.
I do admit that I am curious as to what she has been doing for 5 years and how she is doing. I also am honestly sorry about what happened and would like to apologize.
Should I try and contact her or not? I can't make up my mind. I am also very nervous about it. I'm scared that even though I don't really remember what happened anymore, that she might not want anything to do with me.
If I do contact her by phoning her mom, should I ask for her (I think she's there but not sure) or ask for her mom and explain who I am and why I want to talk to her first?
Any advice would be greatly appreciated. I'm confused and I know it might be easier for others not emotionally involved to see the answer.
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Old 05-21-2006, 11:32 AM
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I was in a situation like this a few years ago. I kind of regret not trying to patch up our friendship.

You can always contact her to say that you saw her and how you hope that time has healed old wounds. You should be able to tell right off the bat if she seems interested or not. If she does, keep it going and she what she has been up to. If not, simply say that seeing her brought back some really good memories for you and you just wanted to let her know that. Say goodbye and move on.

Good Luck to you!!
Tami
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Old 05-21-2006, 12:33 PM
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Aurora, I think that whether or not the conversation goes well, you will feel better having made the attempt. Of course, that is the worse case senario. The best case senrio is that you both will have matured and pick up where you left off and best friends. Give her a call and tell her that you miss her and that you didn't know what to say when you saw her with her children.

What ever you do, good luck. If you do contact her, let us know the happy ending story.
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Old 05-21-2006, 03:18 PM
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I'd be more likely to write a Thinking of You note so she has time to consider a response. It took me 3 weeks to respond to a similar situation so I could find the right words.
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Old 05-21-2006, 08:33 PM
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Go for it! You have a chance to mend a fence & get a friendship back on track!
Good Luck & let her know how you feel.

Alice
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Old 05-21-2006, 10:08 PM
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I agree with the others to try and talk with her. Whatever the outcome you will know you tried and won't always be wondering "what if". Hopefully, you will have a positive outcome and regain a friend.
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Old 05-22-2006, 07:38 AM
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Thank you for all of your responses. I don't have a number for her and I don't know where she lives, so I tried calling her mom's house. Her brother answered and told me he didn't know how I could reach her (he was in the store with her the other day). So I'm assuming she doesn't want to be contacted.
Oh well, I don't think I should call there again, so I will leave it alone.
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Old 05-22-2006, 10:42 AM
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I'm so sorry aurora that it didn't work out. oh well.
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Old 05-22-2006, 12:36 PM
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I came across someone I believe to be her sister through thenamesdatabase and contacted her, so maybe she will help me out. If I hear from her I'll post it.
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Old 05-22-2006, 06:29 PM
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I can "hear" your disappointment. I'm sorry that things didnt work out better for you.

I would suggest saying something directly to her if you see her out again if you really want to keep trying. She couldn't avoid you then.
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