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Family Love/hate relationship with your sister in law? Situation with your Mom? Plenty of things to talk about here.

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Old 04-07-2007, 10:44 AM
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What Kind Of In-Laws Do You Have...

Hello Everyone

What kind of In-laws or as my hubby says "Out-Laws" do you have...

Mine,well my father-in-law was a sweetheart,he passed away almost 15 years ago and I miss him everyday...He never passed judgement on anyone,had a big heart and loved my kids and me...treated us with respect and never once threw it in my face that I was married before...

Now my mil...talk about the wicked witch of the south,yep that would be her...complete with broom and pointy shoes...She is constantly putting me down,my kids down and our grandkids down...She isn't just possessive of my hubby she is obsessed with him...to her he is perfect,oh so wrong...but she always makes a point of telling him in front of his brothers and sister how perfect he is...gee wonder how that makes his siblings feel???

Now my one brother-in-law is a male chauvenist pig,yep I said it and that is exactly what he is...His idea of women is-they are here to cook and clean,have babies,wait on him hand and foot and never have an opinion of their own...no wonder he is 54...still living at home with his mother...and never been married,would any woman really want to marry him???

My other brother-in-law is a dog...this guy stole from his own father who lay dying in a hospital bed...sued his own cousin...treated my kids like they were not good enough to be in the same room as him or sit on the furniture...and his wife,well she is the same way as he is...

Now my sil is like her mother...likes to be in total control of everyone's lives...think she should worry about her own life instead of worrying about others...Her house is filthy and I don't think she really cares...

Okay I have ranted and raved about my in-laws and I just would like to know if anyone else has had problems with their in-laws...My mother-in-law is driving me up the wall...across the ceiling and down the other wall...Help....................
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Old 04-10-2007, 02:50 AM
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I was lucky in that I never had a problem with my in-laws..My MIL and FIL were both great to me..
They lived in W Va. and we lived in NJ but we visited a couple times a yr. for the 20 yrs we were together so it wasn't as though I never had any contact with them..
DH was one of 7..I was and am still close with his oldest sister..the only one older than he was..three of them came to live with us when they were young..two of them have since departed this earth the youngest lives in NJ ..I have yearly (Christmas cards) contacts with 2 of them..of the seven..3 are gone, one is in MO, one is in WVa, one is in Ohio and one is in NJ...
my kids weren't as fortunate..
although my DS1 was English, German, Irish and Italian..his mil hated him because he was "Italian"....
DD1 got along with her in-laws..no problem there
DD2..well that is a little different situation..her fil is fine, her mil is passive agressive..everything has to be her way..so she has a lot of "giving in " to do to keep peace in her household..her sil caters to the mil and tends to need her permission on everything even though she is in her 40s..her dh leaves much to be desired and her 3 kids are another story...so family get togethers are not the best situations to be in..

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Old 04-11-2007, 09:24 AM
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I can't stand my mil at all. My children can't either. They call her dads mom. Even though they see her quite a bit they don't know her at all. Which I am glad they don't they have loving grandparents (my mom and stepfather). They had a grandfather that thought the world of them (my dad). And a great grandfather that thinks they are the best (my grandfather). She thinks her son is perfect and does no wrong, boy is she wrong.

FIL don't know him I have seen him a total of 2 times in 13 1/2 years. Once was at DH's nieces wedding reception and once at DH's nefhews funeral. My kids are suprised when DH mention's him and they say we have another grandfather.

1 sil lives out of state and I get along with her when talking to her or when she is here.

1 sil is terrible I can't stand her at all. She is just like her mother.

1 bil I just met a few years ago when his son was killed in a car accident. He works with one of my brothers and always asks about me and the kids and how we can live with his brother because he is just like his mother. My kids thought it was neat when we went to his house because there are pictures of them since they were babies everywhere. My brother gives him pictures for me. He asked if I would do this.

1 bil haven't seen in years

Niether of BIL's talk to their mother at all she says this is because of their wifes. Well one is divorced now and still won't talk to his mother. Because of how she is. Personally I would like to have no communication with her at all but I got the mamma's boy her baby.

its just that his family is not close and puts everyone down. I come from a very close family and my kids are being raised to be close also.
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Old 04-15-2007, 07:59 AM
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My inlaws are about the same! My inlaws are nasty mean. My FIL used to be nicer but everything HAS to be HIS way. I really think that is why my SILs didn't plan a anniverasry party for them. No matter what they did, it would have been wrong. Since our son's name was in the paper, county court, now FIL won't speak to any of us. Like it hurts our feelings or upsets us? lol Dh's brother and sisters have followed thier mothers path. Nasty mean to us and our kids. Everything is always our fault. We stay away, peroid. No family dinners, no Christmas gift exchange, nothing. Last year I was excluded from the baby shower list. These were the 'first' great grand kids. There are two or more step great grandchildren but the MIL and FIL don't accept them.It does make me sad since I always want a huge loving family. I really think that MIL started treating dh like dirt eons ago and the rest of the family picked up the habit. Easier on them to treat dh and us like dirt because then mom is happy with them. Crazy family.
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Old 04-15-2007, 08:03 AM
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I have to say I lucked out in the inlaw department. I absolutely love my mil and my fil and all my dh's siblings. My fil passed away 6 years ago and I still miss him a lot. My mil and fil have never passed judgement and have always been there for us whenever we needed them. My mil once came to our house and stayed with my dks for a whole week so dh and i could go to Florida. My sils and bil are awesome, we all get along very well and I love spending time with them. I feel lucky to have married into such a kind family. My dh also gets along very well with my side of the family - goes fishing with my brothers, gets along well with my dm. My df passed away a year and a half ago but he got along well with my dh too - they would go ice fishing together and have beers together. I feel lucky.
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Old 04-15-2007, 09:04 AM
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I can honestly say I haven't been the best DIL at times. I will say I have tried to be nice and loving. I refuse to allow them to walk all over me and treat me like dirt.
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Old 04-15-2007, 11:36 AM
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I agree Bluebird

I could have been a little better at times and I also could have been ALOT worse at times too. Mostly I just deal and get over and on with things
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Old 04-15-2007, 10:05 PM
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My mother-in-law never ceases to amaze me with the crap she has pulled over the past almost 20 years...When I went through Breast Cancer she actually had someone already picked out for her son to marry when I was dead,fooled the old bag because I am still here and very much alive...much to her dissappointment...

I have turned myself inside out to please her and nothing I do or say will ever be good enough for her...I have welcomed her into our home where she spent her time her putting me down...one time she started yelling at me because I didn't jump up off the chair and make hubby something to eat...well last time I checked I wasn't working in a restaraunt and I told her "He has 2 feet and a heart beat and I don't see a piano strapped to his butt" so he can make his own sandwich...which he does quite often...But she wouldn't have any part of it...she waited on him hand and foot and she expected me to do the same...okay that will never happen...

She interfere's all the time,discusses my medical problems with complete strangers and then wonders why I get so upset with her...Last summer the final straw was...we had gone down to visit my 2 daughters and spend time with our grandkids...we rented a cottage on the lake for a week,and everything was going really well until our last night...she phoned the cottage asked to speak to hubby and proceeded to put some guy on the phone to him that neither one of us have ever met or spoken to and told hubby what I should be doing and what medications I should be taking for Glaucoma,everything that could be done for the Glaucoma has been done,but its not like she ever asked me...okay that did it...I cried all night and all the way home,1,200 miles of crying because his mother could not resist sticking her nose in where it certainly did not belong...I will never forgive her for stepping over that line...

Am I wrong in the way I feel towards her??? I am wrong not to forgive and forget??? I have tried so hard for her to like me and that is never going to happen...What can I do to make her accept me and like me??? It was bad enough when my own mother didn't like me...Am I really such a horrible person??? I know she is hubby's mother but do I have to be hurt all the time by her and made to feel worthless when she is around??? I just don't know any more...I really don't...
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Old 04-16-2007, 04:24 AM
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Theresa, I believe that there are some people in this world who you cannot please no matter what and who thrive on drama. If there is no drama, they create it. I think your mil is one of those people. I also think that no matter who your dh was married to, it would be the same thing as no one would ever be good enough for her baby boy. The biggest thing is - does your dh stick up for you in situations where she crosses the line or criticizes you? Because if he doesn't he should. You should be his main priority because you are his wife!!! I also would continue to be nice to this woman (so she doesn't have more fodder to cause drama with) but i would certainly not tell her any personal information regarding anything you do not want broadcast to strangers. You do not have to like this woman but do be civil only because she is your dh's mother. I feel for your situation and know that it isn't easy. You are a good person and deserve to be treated with respect. Also, her constant criticism and insults may be a result of her own insecurities and inadequacies. Look at where she came from and her past and it may explain a lot of her behavior. Just know inside that you are a good, kind, caring person and that if she can't see that then it is her loss. (You can also look at it this way, if as she says, her son is so perfect and wonderful, then he must also have good taste - he married you didn't he? He made a good choice!)
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Old 04-16-2007, 07:03 AM
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I agree with Sammi! My MIL chewed me out after we found out about ds's heart problems. She said it was my fault. This was after his heart surgery at 7 days.... then told everyone in our little town that we should never have more children IF they were all going to be like him. I laughed my butt off two summers ago when she was dxed with a congential heart problem......

I strayed from my point! If you have work so hard and be treated like dirt from anyone, friend or family, it is not worth it. We never see the inlaws and they live in the same tiny town as we do. No family dinners, nothing. They come over once a year to give us our Christmas checks. I am too the point I really don't care, just leave me alone.
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