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LJsmom 11-10-2004 09:50 PM

What salary is a SAHM worth?
I seem to have read something years ago that basically stated: if you added up all the things a SAHM mom did and gave her a salary it would be well over 6 figures.
Lets think about this...

personal chef for 3 meals a day
book keeper
daycare worker
psychologist (psychiatrist?)
tour guide
taxi driver

The list goes on, what have I forgotten?

I'd like to come up with an actual salary range, show it to dh and smack him in the thick head with it !!!
He seems to think I sit on the couch and eat bon bons all day. This argument comes up occasionally. Today it was because he didn't have clean socks. Sorry but I don't check HIS sock drawer on a regular basis. The time to let me know is the day before, not at 5am. Check the mis-matched sock basket DUH.
My house is not spotless, but I can certainly find what I need, the family is well fed, happy and bills paid on time. Thats more important to me than clean socks

Oh yes, while I'm eating my bon bons, I'm also taking care of a 13 and 4 y.o., volunteering at both their schools and church, coordinating all family schedules, own vending machines that I service, work freelance for a friend, decorate houses for the holidays and sell on ebay. Somewhere in there I cook and clean too.
*Whew* thanks, now I feel better.

So what salary do you all think we are worth in todays market?

musicmom1 11-22-2004 04:54 AM

I am very surprised to have found this thread today, of all days. Last night, DH and I were watching "Desperate Housewives". The situation with Brie and her hubby divorcing struck a cord with DH. When she did not allow the kids in the house without adhearing to her rules, DH said "Oh she can't do that, it's not her house!". I was shocked. After I questioned him (in a half joking manner), he said that the dad is the one who technically owns the house. As brie is a stay at home mom, I believe that she would be entitled to 1/2 the house. He got all huffy about it and I finally had to end the conversation with "well thank GOD it is on TV and isn't a true story!" (yes, it was sarcastic). DH and I are fine, there are no problems in our marriage, but I was really hurt by his comments on that situation. I know in my heart that I am worth more than NOTHING! I have been a SAHM for 8 years. I am not the perfect maid, but I still can hold my own as to minor household problems as well!

There....I feel better too!!

Coll 11-22-2004 07:25 AM

I think us SAHMs are


We don't get the attention, pay, respect or appreciation we truely deserve.


mowire 11-22-2004 05:49 PM

BOY THIS ONE IS GOOD!!!!!!!!!!! and we are PRICELESS!!!!!!!!!!
they couldnt pay us enough!!!!!!!! :)
I am curious to see the anwers!!!
and I DONT look in the sock OR underwear drawer either!!!! am I suppose to be a mind reader??? OH I just sit and eat bon bons too!!!! what exactlly are they anyways LOLOL!!!??? my hubby will pull that one too!!!!!!!!!!! sometimes I think he means it!!!!! you must make lunches that one you can add!!! making sure there is enough this and that in the house!!!! {milk,bread,etc!!}
right now I am watching my cousins 4 mo.old soooo even less time it seems!!!!!
have a good one girls...keep up the good work sahms!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Coll 11-23-2004 05:23 AM

My hubby thinks he could be a stay at home dad. YEAH, RIGHT!

Granted he does laundry for me occasionally, though he puts things in the dryer that shouldn't go in there.

But there is no way he would last a week as a SAHM!

With all the appointments, activities, and such to do everyday, then theres cooking the meals, cleaning the house, etc. And don't forget, keeping the kids busy. All this at the same time. He'd be begging me to come back home so he could go back to work.


Sunshine04 11-23-2004 07:33 AM

Several years ago a friend of ours got a divorce. Wife left him with the 3 kids. 2 boys & a girl. He had a hight paying job but long hrs. He didn't have a clue as what to do. Had problems getting sitters, didn't know how to cook, manage work & kids & etc. He finally had to quit the good paying job because of long hrs. He ask me one day " how in the world do you women do it all ?' Said he had no idea what all we did. He did learn how to do it & I was proud of him. That's what needs to happen to some men. Not devorce their wives but to have to either be a working mom & do all the rest or at least have to stay home & do all she does. Thank heavens all men aren't like that & knows what all a wife has to do & with no paycheck of her own. When a wife & mom works out she has 2 full time jobs.

SURPRISEX2 11-23-2004 11:05 AM

Oh my I could go on about this subject for a long time because my hubby and I argue about this all the time. Well he argues about it I don't usually say anything I just consider the source.
He has also said that he could stay home and do what I do which is a joke. If I leave him home for one day sometimes not even a full day my house looks like a tornado went through it. He is always on me to get a job. I just keep telling him when he can find the time for me to get a job let me know and I will do it.
He hasn't found time yet I think it is because there isn't any. I have 6yr old twin boys, I have a daycare in my home where I have 2 yr old twin girls, a 2 yr girl a 3yr old boy plus one of my boys home everyday. Plus I do my regular household duties(dishes, laundry, cleaning the house) I also have to do the outside chores to ( mowing grass, raking leaves, doing the gardening,shoveling snow etc.). So see he will never find time for me to get a job. Besides if I get a job that will cut into his freetime because he would have to watch the boys while I work.
And he can't do that because in the winter he bowls 2 nights a week and in the summer he golfs 2 or 3 nights a week. So really he doesn't have time for me to get a job either but for different reasons.

But anyway there may be a $ amount on the work we do but there is no $ amount high enough for what it does for our kids when we are at home.

Well I am done venting now sorry if I vented to much but I get so aggravated when someone (especially my husband) tries to judge what I do without walking in my shoes.

God Bless


Coll 11-23-2004 11:45 AM


If you have a day care in your home you get paid right? If yes, then you have a JOB!
Tell that dh of yours that instesd of him going golfing anf bowling you will find work in a McD's or somewhere where they will let you work on those specific days and he can stay home with the kids, feed them dinner, get them bathed and ready for bed and then tuck them in. But make sure you get them into somekind of activity first so he can try to work that in too. LOL.


LJsmom 11-23-2004 09:15 PM

You go girl !
Wow Tammy , I think you said what each of us feels alot of the time.
Thats awful nice of your dh to go out that much socializing during the week...(note the sarcasm). Do you get equal time to go out?

Do we ever get a day off (grumble grumble)? I know my dh likes to rest on the couch during football sundays. If I did that even once the house would fall down around us.
My dh goes to LV every other Super Bowl with the guys. Thats his solo vacation. He always says I can go have one too with my gf's. No problem, but all the girls are in the same situation as me; not one of us can get away at the same time as the rest. Day off? I'm not sure I know what it is. Although I "try" to have some alone time so I can read after dinner. Usually only lasts a few minutes before someone finds me.

SURPRISEX2 11-24-2004 06:33 AM

To answer you Coll yes I do get paid for my daycare kids but it's not enough money for him. I can't get him to understand that if I get a job that by the time I pay a babysitter I would be making less than what I do now.

And to answer you LJsmom no I don't get to do any activities like bowling. I said I wanted to but he wasn't to fond of the idea because I do have a Tuesday night Bible study group but that only last an hour and a half. So I think he considereds that my night out for myself. I just let it go because I don't want him to pawn our boys off on just anybody when he want to do something there is only certain family members that are allowed to watch them. That's why when I go to my bible study if he is not going to be home I am the one who makes arrangements for a sitter.

Well I gotta go for now I have 4 pumpkin pies to make for the church for tommorrow.

You all have a great Thanksgiving!

Speaking of Thanksgiving despite all the moaning and complaining I do about my dh at least he is not sitting at the bar or with other women every night. I am thankful for that.

God Bless

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