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Old 12-01-2013, 06:00 AM
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DH texted DD and asked what hospital she is located. She stated St. Anthony's. However, when he pressed her for a room number, she stated she was no longer in the hospital and the shelter staff is observing her with the blood clots. I find the whole store suspicious. At least, it is another weekend the children won't see the parents and the kids seem to be doing better for it.
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Old 12-01-2013, 06:44 AM
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DeBora,

I can understand some of the difficulties you are going through, and I feel bad that you have to go through them. I sure would like to know why our adult children refuse to grow up and take responsibility for themselves and their actions.

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Old 12-01-2013, 10:46 AM
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I think society is creating a generation of people who expect something for nothing. I know where I live, a family can make more money on welfare. The government will pay their rent, food, and medical insurance. Also, if the parent chooses to work for a limited amount of time, the government will also pay daycare. If the parent worked full time, they'd have less money than what they get off the government. I hear younger people all the time say things like, "I don't know why so and so won't give me her car. She's not using it." I have to remind this person that it is the other person's car and if she wants to let it sit in her driveway, she can let it sit in the driveway. The government seems to be enabling a generation to do nothing and expect everything handed to them. They need to tell these people to work to get benfits, like having the welfare recipients pick up trash, type papers. file, etc... in exchange for benefits. These "jobs" could be anything that the person is capable of doing. I doubt many people would sign up if they knew they'd have to work and could not pick the job.
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Old 12-02-2013, 09:54 AM
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DeBora, we have been saying that for years. Make these people work for their welfare payments.
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Old 12-02-2013, 12:34 PM
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I can't tell you what it is like to have a Toxic child. I can tell you about a toxic grandparent and sibling though. The grandparent I told to either "start treating her DD in a better manner when visiting at her house or don't come at all b/c I didn't appreciate the way she treated her DD at family gatherings. It doesn't matter the reason behind why you treat her in a rude manner. You are a guest in her house and they may have put up with the way you treat them, and the way you treated me as a child, but I'll be damned if I let you treat her that way now. You want to be bitter and mean, do it on your own time, but not to her, not in front of other people in her house, and not while I am still alive. " She called her DD getting my dad instead and was apologetic for her behavior and asked if she could visit her DD at another family gathering, if she promised to be nicer. That grandmother joined us for two more family gatherings before she passed due to irreversible health issues from a choice she made years ago and continued to make well into her late adult years, and since she was a DNR individual, she was able to leave her DD on a better note than she would have, had I not intervened...and her DD was less angry at her when her death day finally came. As for my sibling... she has been allowed to be this way for a very long time, and is willing to throw-away any family member who stands up to her, or rubs her the wrong way. I thankfully live quite a distance away and prefer to keep my interactions with "supporting" family to a minimum. They don't go out of their way to see me, and I limit the amount of travel and visiting time as short as possible. Even when they open their doors to help save us money when we visit, I prefer not to. I miss them dearly, but it is better for me to not be near them often. In away that allows me to be clear of the Toxic. I'm sort of the black-sheep anyway, so it seems to be preferable on both sides. Sometimes though, that's what you have to do. Distance yourself from the person(s), otherwise you can be just as toxic.
Good luck with your Toxic relationship(s), and remember that sometimes you just have to let them fly and fall on their own. Once they grow to big for the nest, you can and are allowed to say "no" and back it up if they refuse. Being a "supporter" or "enabler" doesn't help anyone, especially you.
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Old 12-02-2013, 12:59 PM
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Absolutely correct KSJE, I agree.

DeBora, I agree, that if you don't work you don't eat. Obviously the very elderly would have trouble working, but most wouldn't have difficulty.
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