dealing with a parent who is verbally abusing my child

[frustratedparent]

I did it!!! I confronted the parent who is bullying my child this morning. I told her exactly what will happen if she goes near our daughter. I did not raise my voice and did it outside school boundries. She was in shock and all she had to say was that she had no idea what I was talking about. Typical response from her. It's the same thing she said to the school. I feel empowered!!!!! It was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do but I'm glad I did it.

Empowered Mom!!!

[DeBora4BobbyL]

FrustratedMom, you are going to have to change your name to Empowered Mom. lol It appears that you handled this with finesse! Here is a link to the 4 styles of communication. Sometimes people feel as though they are being aggressive when in reality they are being assertive. There is nothing wrong with preventing a person from crossing your boundaries or crossing your child's boundaries. If you have any questions, feel free to ask. I am so glad you handled this well. 99% of bullying is intimidation and threats. It is all mouth. If you can verbally let this person know you mean business, you might intimidate her into staying away from her child. Hopefully, this is all it will take for her to stop the abuse. If not, carry out the threat. Bullies don't mean what they say. They solely use intimidation as a means of power. However, assertive people mean what they say and only make threats they plan on carrying out and not to control others, but to protect their boundaries or the boundaries of their children! Good job!

[frustratedparent]

Thank you,

Well put! I never thought of it that way. I will have to write that down.

The therapist I spoke to had this to said to me today,
I am very proud of you. This is such a milestone. You will notice that she will think twice before raising her voice to your child. For your daughter you need to model confidence and assertiveness. Bravo!

The parents child tried to bully my daughter today, all her friends made a circle around her and said you leave her alone. Now that's power in numbers!!!

"Empowered Mom"

[ajrsmom]

That's great news! I'm proud of you, too!

I hope that she will stay far, far way now. You have the upper hand in this now. Don't be afraid to use it to your advantage!

[frustratedparent]

So it's official, the school will do nothing. They said they would put them in seperate classes next year and they have now told us, they end up where they end up. I knew there was no way they could promise any such thing based on all the teacher cut backs we've been having. They also said that there is no way they can monitor that she stays away from our daughter on field trips. Wow, what a thing to say to a parent. We can't believe she is even allowed to go on fields trips let alone be around children.

This parent didn't show up at school today. I'm only guessing, that because she has had these types on encounters before with other parents and she probably thinks people are talking about her or, she's looking for a new school. We can only hope.

I'm glad now more than ever that I confronted her.

[DeBora4BobbyL]

Have you told the school that you WILL prosecute if this woman verbally abuses your child again? Make sure you document who you talked to, the date and time of the conversations, and what, exactly, was said. Once the school is made aware that this lady is abusive to a student, they have an obligation to protect any child entrusted to them. At the point you make them aware, they are now responsible. If this parent does not work there, she has no reason to be around your child for any reason. When she is on the premises, the school has a responsibility to make sure she does not get around your child. Good luck.