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Old 11-12-2009, 05:14 AM
Solsticered's Avatar
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Is it just being stubborn?

I'm homeschooling my nine year old son, and I swear, my advil bottle empties faster every week! Now, he's very intelligent, very kinetic, and I swear, VERY stubborn. We have hit an impasse I believe, with his reading and writing. We've had him tested, and nothing has shown, but trying to get more than a one word answer for him when it has to be written is impossible, and reading? Well, it seems a battle of wills to get him to read anything other than comic books (not in the ciriculmn of course!) please, perhaps someone has some ideas that could help, or even let me know that I'm not the only with permanent "facepalms".
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Old 11-12-2009, 10:36 AM
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Well I'm not a home schooling mum, I don't think I or we could handle each other that many hours for each day LOL
I have 2 boys 15 in feb and just turned 19 and I can tell you they do some dumb stuff for smart kids, not mean or nasty just plain old dumb LOL
Don't forget to take deep breaths, in with the good air, out with the bad and make time for yourself as I find the more frustration I show the more they make it get to me.
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Old 11-23-2009, 05:47 PM
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Yeah, I am right there with you. I am HSing my 9 y.o. DD. And if it weren't for the fact that we are using a Public Charter school...I don't think I would be able to get her to do anything.

Have you tried offering incentives? Like write this, and you will get, extra free time, or outside time?

Or maybe after so many good days, a day at the park? I know he is getting a little old to enjoy the park a lot, but, something that he likes to do?

Sorry, I can't be much of a help other than offering incentives, that is the only other thing that gets DD going.

Like this week, being Thanksgiving week. I offered to her to get all her work done today, and than she can have the rest of the week off. WOW, I have never seen her be so cooperative before!

Good luck.

When I was young, I always said I wanted to be someone...I guess I should have been more specific!
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Old 01-03-2010, 06:43 PM
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I have had the same problem with my son - who is now 12 - for about 3 years now.

One of the ladies who I reviewed a book for on FC recommend books on tape as a change up to regular reading. That helped a bit but we have a very hard time finding them for his school accelerated reading lists. It seems to be a struggle every 9 weeks with him.

Since he has started middle school, they offer incentives to the kids who make their reading goals. This 9 weeks they are having a skating party at our local rink for everyone that has met or gone over their goals. He reached his goal really early this time by reading one of the Twilight series books (way below his reading level but still accepted. UGH!!). Since then, he's read one more book. I've decided that I can only fight so many battles with him so as long as he is doing his required work, I'm not bickering back and forth with him. He does read magazines and other books that he picks from the library. He also reads the newspaper so he is getting some reading done. I put some of the blame for this one these schools who push "useless" reading for points. There are so many ways to make reading exciting. They've dropped the ball big time around here.

I used incentives over the summer - money, video game rentals...etc for reading a certain number of books + he had to pass a reading test given by me or an online test from one of the sites that we use.

Have you tried doing projects with the books she is reading to make the storyline more interesting? Have her do book reports, a diorama, a play to act out some of the book...etc. If the story has to do with family and cooking, do a project like that. If the book is about trees, for example, collect leaves and research them. I'm planning on doing this with my dd over this coming summer. So far she loves to read.

Just some ideas.... Good luck with it!

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Old 01-06-2010, 11:22 AM
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Have you tested him for dyslexia? It is quite common and would explain a lot. He sounds like I did when I was in school. It was exhausting to read and write, as the letters would sometimes not come out where they were supposed to and it was easier to just not do it. Try letting him read in a darker room. Dyslexia people do not like to have bright light when they are reading as it makes the eyes jump around. I find I read with a light behind the book or pointed away from me and the book and it is so much easier. different coloured glasses have also been known to help. Yellow, brown, blue and red. You never know! Good luck to you and your son!
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Old 09-04-2010, 12:39 PM
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I agree that if he has a learning disability, doing school work will be a battle.

Also, some children just do not like to sit and learn. You might want to consider making a chart. If he doesn't complete at least 1/3 of it for that day, no privileges. No DSi, no TV, nothing. If he gets more than 1/3, he can have some of his privileges, plus he can get a sticker. If he gets 100% or even 90%, give him 2 stickers. Come up with some goals. He can earn these goals by earning enough stickers. It could be going to the pizza parlor, going to the movies, going bowling, getting a new video game, anything. You can have small prizes for a certain small amount of stickers, bigger prizes for medium, and so on. Whatever you do, don't set him up to fail by setting the bar too high. Celebrate the little victories so he'll be encouraged to keep trying.

Whatever you do, don't ever take away points/stickers that he earned. If you do, he will soon realize that if he works for something, it could be taken away from him and he will stop trying.
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Old 09-04-2010, 01:44 PM
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I like the idea of incentives or giving him goals to work for. Have you tried letting him pick a book in a subject that he is particularly interested in? By subject I mean something a science topic that interests him or a history period or event. In that way he would be reading and learning about something relevant at the same time. My youngest son (who is turning 16 this month) has always hated to read. One way I got him to do it was by reading with him. I would read a page out loud and then he had to read the next page out loud. At least it got him reading. He want to Alaska this summer with his grandmother and had to ride in a camper van 10 - 12 hours a day. I gave him a book on the Viet Nam war, nothing he would have ever picked for himself. He was so bored in the car just riding he actually read it and found out he loved it. Not sure I am much help here.
“Before you speak, it is necessary for you to listen, for God speaks in the silence of the heart.”

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Old 09-04-2010, 02:28 PM
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If it's any consolation, my 14 y.o. nephew has similar issues with reading and math. However, someone got him interested in this book series that Henry Winkler (formally the "Fonz" on Happy Days) writes and he seems to enjoy them (I don't recall if there was any pictures in the book he had or not), and can actualy retain and give clear information back about what he read, even hours later. My nephew is usually glued to his cell phone games, PC games, or some game unit - when not in school. So this is saying a lot for about his interest.
I agree with DeBora about an earning chart, but also if you say I need you to read this paragraph, page, book or whatever for 5 minutes, and gradually work up to an hour you can have equal amount of time to look at / review /read "one" comic book or equivalent other interest. Sometimes it is just a matter of finding a compromise because he is your child and your student, instead of one or the other. Regardless of how long you have been home schooling him, you still need to take a step back and say which battles are really worth battling over, and which ones can be compromised.
Another suggestion is letting him know that in non-home schooled environments children are required to attend school from 8 A.M. until 3 P.M. with one hour of "free" time (excluding Physical Education) to read and do most anything they can on school grounds /campus, and whatever they do not finish during school hours, they bring home to finish and return with (usually signed by a parent) the following day. This is what the wife of my DH's co-worker did with their oldest home-schooled girl (age 10) when she started showing her stubborn streak. Their compromise was that if she did x-amount of math work she could go ride her horse if she chose to, other wise she could finish the school day out and ride later when the neighboring school kids were home / outside.
If you see someone in need of help and you can do something, then do something — that goes for people and animals. If you can help out, try. That’s what I hope people take away from this.” -Alex Scroggins
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Old 09-04-2010, 04:33 PM
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I did not HS my children but I am a retired school teacher. Whenever I had students that were having trouble with reading we played a little game, I read one part of the story then handed it to the student to read the next part. Our reading sections differed for each child, sometimes it was a paragraph long and sometimes it was a page long. It is just another idea so think about it because each child has their own speed and the mother always knows her child best.
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Old 09-05-2010, 07:36 AM
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Maybe he is ready for regular school. My friend homeschooled her three children until they were interested in regular school. They two girls started 6 th grade and the boy started in I think 4th. The kids' choice.
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