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Elementary Aged Kids Your little ones have grown up right before your eyes! They are no longer those little babies they once were, and soon they are moving to adolescence.

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  #11 (permalink)  
Old 03-22-2003, 09:00 AM
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discipline- Some good books are in the Positive Discipline series. My biggest advice is catch them doing something right and praise praise praise. Particularly with a challenging child letting them know that they are doing something right and thanking them or praising them for it is powerful. Be sure to notice that one time that they wipe their feet, hang up their coat, pet the cat nicely, or try to cheer up their sibling. Everyone likes positive attention better than negative it's just usually a lot more work to get it. Make the positive attention come as quickly as the negative attention and you will see results.
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Old 03-25-2003, 07:42 AM
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I 've founds some audio tapes and books by Jim Fay and Foster Cline. they are called using the love and logic theory-i rave so much about them my husband feels they should know & pay me for constantly endorsing them(lol) theeir website is and just try some things and you will be surprised at what you can do -wish i had discovered them when my son was small (he's 21 now -but some of the things i tried and his reaction was unreal and i have done a few things with my 15 yr old daughter & i can see a difference in both of them!:daisyhope you check into it and let me know what you think about it
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  #13 (permalink)  
Old 03-26-2003, 06:31 PM
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Controling child

I've raised 3 of my own and had child care in my home for years (20 +). Each child is different, and reacts differently to each punishments. The first thing a baby (yes they are very smart at birth) learns is cry and I get attendtion usually in the first day or 2. So, never underestimate your child's level of comprehention of what makes you crazy, they know this by age 2.
You must pay attendtion to what she doesn't like and what she does like. If one thing doesn't work then change tactics, but be consistant in what is allowed and what is not. Never confuse her with letting her by with bad behavior even if it is in public. If you have to disapline her in public act like you can care less if others are looking. Tell her she is only embarrassing herself with her bad behavior. That everyone thinks she is a brat.
We knew better than to misbehave when I was growing up. It was a long and lonely walk to pick that willow switch. We had a healthy respect for what the consequences of misbehavior were. This is what you want. I wasn't going to ever spank my children, but learned that once in a while when a child has crossed that line it may be required. Mine only got spankings (3 swats) for blaint disrespect or disobediance. I learned creative ways to get my point across. I kept telling myself I'm the adult I'm in charged and my children will only get by with what I allow they to. Since you said she is pushing your buttons, the first thing I'd do is remove that button or pre-empt her pushing it. Learn not to react the way she thinks you will. Keep telling yourself I in charge, she will only get by with what I allow. It works
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Old 05-19-2004, 09:11 AM
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reward coupons

hi i have a ten yearold and i was woundering does anyone know where i can find reward coupons on line to print this should help with getting to do things around the house .
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  #15 (permalink)  
Old 06-08-2004, 04:15 PM
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You can go to the dollar store and buy a pad of colorful construction paper, and stickers your child likes. Cut the paper into the desired length, size, or shape and add the sticker. Ask your child what is his / her idea of a reward and make your coupons to suit both of you. Use markers to write the reward on the coupon. You can even color code the coupons according to how big or important the task is. Example: A purple coupon for taking out all the garbage WITHOUT being asked would be worth more than a yellow coupon if you had to remind or ask. Once a month (if its been a good month) surprise him / her with something special like a trip to Wendys Hamburgers. They have a great dollar menu for those of us with limited funds!
If the coupons don't work remember Money Talks........ open a savings account and let him / her put the money in savings. Teach them responsibility with money!
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Old 07-29-2004, 08:59 PM
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Terrible Threes

Reading through the posts I see my 3yr old DD. I love her, she is my little princess when she wants to be, and smart as a whip! But lately (I admit it has started with the birth of my ds#2 and increase in work hours), she has become out of control. She says, "I hate you", not only to me, but her friends. We take care of a friend's daughter for 1/2 days, and my dd is downright mean to her most days, she has begun pinching her big brother, can't talk in a quiet voice to save herself, and then she can turn on a dime and be the nicest, sweetest child in the world.
Honestly, I'm at my wits end.
We have tried time outs - forget it.
We ground from TV (she usually gets 1/2 hr per day) - she has been grounded for so long, she doesn't even miss it.
We've tried a visual ladder that uses rewards only, you move up if you are good, down if you are naughty and have to stick to whatever is listed on that rung - it almost worked, but it was difficult to stick with consistently since my hubby is home half the day/me the other half . . .
Any ideas would be helpful. My ds #1 never went through this phase, and for him a 2 min time out was all that was ever needed to straighten him out. It's amazing how they are so different!
A messy house and happy children . . . I choose to spend my days playing!
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Old 08-02-2005, 05:50 AM
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Old 08-02-2005, 08:27 AM
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Jealousy manifests itself in many ways.. .and your daughter is jealous of the time you are spending with your youngest AND someone else's child.
You made her a princess and this is what royalty does when they can't rule....

I think you need to get a handle on this now and giving up watching a child for someone else is probably a good place to start.... Use that time to spend with your daughter. Try to make her part of the care of your youngest... give her the big sister talk and tell her how important she is......etc etc.

If her bad behavior continues to escalate, you can gain a lot more insight with a counselor, since they are there are can evaluate the situation a lot better after interviewing your daughter and the family. I think counseling is a good idea before things get a chance to escalate.....
Get a rise out of life!- Bake Bread!

"A hundred years from now, it will not matter the sort of house I lived in, what my bank account was, or the car I drove....but the world may be different because I was important in the life of the animals and the creatures on this earth."
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Old 08-02-2005, 12:44 PM
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Little Princess??

Well, I grew up with a "little princess" who was my cousin. Her jealousy extended to anyone who was in the spotlight. It was no favor being the "princess" as when she was grown she had a very hard time adjusting to the fact no one else felt like doing a royal bow to her. She experimented with a host of things including huffing and drugs. Hence drop the "princess" title.

I've kept children for over 25 years and have learned a few things from them.
When a child can't control his/her's situation they act out. Your DD can't control that she now has a "rivial" for mom's attendtion (baby) so she will vent her frustration on anyone and anything she can.
My solution to this is to calmly and clearly in the child's face tell them they are in control of the way they behave and they get to choose how they will behave. BUT, If they choose to misbehave then I must step in and take their control. If you are mean to your friends/ brothers you will sit in a chair on your hands (to keep them out of trouble) for 2 minutes and I start your time when you are quiet and controling yourself. If the child sits there for 30 minutes screaming so be it, as time doesn't start until they have control of themselves. I remind them of this as I go on with what I'm doing. Once the child figures out I mean that they will sit there until they control themselves for 2 minutes the comply. Frist sign of misbehavior and I ask "Who is in control of you?" They usually reply "me", and I say something like good! I was hoping I wouldn't have to step in, I knew you conuld do it! Some take longer than others. If the bad behavior continues then I make them my joined at the hip child. No toys, no play, where ever I go they go. If I'm folding clothes they must sit and watch me fold clothes, whatever I do they are right there with me until they can control themselves. Usually after 5 minutes they are bored to death and ready to try to control themselves instead of trying to control me. I also believe a good swat on the behind should be given if necessary, but save it for last resort.
Good luck!

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Old 08-02-2005, 01:55 PM
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I see a lot of my situation here at home in some of the posts. There are days when I feel like Im at my wits end with my son ( 7 1/2).

In my search to find an answer, I stumbled upon a book entitled Raising Your Spirited Child: A Guide for Parents Whose Child Is More Intense, Sensitive, Perceptive, Persistent, Energetic by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka.

Im not even half-way through the book and I swear she is talking directly to me. I found it in the parenting section of our library. She has been through what many of us are going through right now. Throughout the book she talks about other parents who were going through the same situations. If I gain anything from this book, it feels good to know that there really are other people who are going through the same things.

Im not affiliated with this book in any way, just to let you know in case it seems as thought Im pushing this book. I just thought that if you were roaming around your library looking for an answer ( like I was), you might take a look at it.


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