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Old 05-01-2007, 06:09 PM
StepMom22's Avatar
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Question Need advice on dance classes…

Hubby and I have been going rounds with his daughter’s (7 & 8) dance class trying to meet with someone and get some information but we keep running into one problem after another. Initially it just started with our curiosity when we noticed what we considered provocative poses from my husbands’ daughters when taking pictures one day. We’ve still been trying to meet with the teachers, but have been unable to do so for one reason or another (due to the class itself, not us).
Now we’re finding out that they have a recital in June, as well as pictures just prior which they need to be “made up” for. It wasn’t until my husband spoke with another mother that he found out their not only to be in full costume, but they’re to have their makeup on too (What?).
Granted we have yet to see what their costumes are as of yet, but have viewed several others that we don’t feel are suitable to 7 & 8 year old girls and don’t even get me started on the makeup! Lets just say that at 29 I wouldn’t even leave my house looking like some of these children do.

So what do we do? They live with their mother and only visit us, however sometimes their activities fall on weekends we have them. We know their mother has no problems with their costumes or the amount of makeup they wear, but we agree in our house little girls shouldn’t wear clothing that other people can “read their butts” (little phrases written across their butts…hate that) nor should they wear makeup, let alone in the quantity they do for these classes.
But we’re stuck not knowing HOW we should handle this. We firmly believe they shouldn’t be allowed to wear these things, but when they’re with us so little time is NOT allowing them to wear these things going to make a difference? We like to think it would, but these children have been taught to act in very specific ways while they’re with us (long story).

Any advice and/or comments are welcome as we’re open to just about anything at this point. What would some of you do if in a similar situation?

THANKS in advance to all who reply!!
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Old 05-01-2007, 07:17 PM
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Dee it is hard because most dance recitals/compitions will wear alot of makeup mainly because of the lights being dimmed and stage lights on the girls. Many wear even false eyelashes etc. My daughter had lots of makeup on for her show and believe me in day to day life she is not allowed. We just were at a competition a month ago over 1000 students preforming and all dancers had makeup on hair put up and many varieties of costumes. My daughter does hip hop so some of the moves are a little over the top but I would not say sexy. Her outfit becuse it is hip hop is usually a parachute pant with tank top and a loose top over that. I am okay with that as long as it stays within the dance class. I think you will find it hard to find any dance studio that does not do recitals or competitions where the girls are all made up and do wear a variety of costumes. I figure skated for years and we practiced wearing body suits no skirt or anything and our competion outfits were pretty skimp when you think about it. I turned out okay and did not transfer it to my everyday life. I think you really need to chat with the school and ask what the expectations are. Sorry my reply is probably not what you were looking for but I just wanted to let you know what dance was like for my daughter. Hope you can figure it all out.

Hugs Debbie

here is my daughter getting her make up on
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Old 05-02-2007, 04:53 AM
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There's classy and there's trashy.

Classy is stage makeup that is in shades of pink with eyeliner, fake lashes, lipstick, and a white dot on the inside corner (or is it red?). This makes a face look bright and not sallow under the bright lights.

Trashy is signs on their butts.

Paige's picture is a version of classy for jazz shows.

It depends on the venue (jazz, classical ballet, etc).

The kids love putting on the makeup and they are able to make the distinction between stage and day to day wear. Even at young ages as young as preschool.
Ellen in PA

"God has not given us a spirit of fear; but of love, power, and a sound mind."
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Old 05-04-2007, 08:14 AM
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My dd did dance for 15 years. She had to wear make up for her recitals starting when she was about 12 (she started taking lessons at 3 but only wore a bit of blush) Stage makeup is different than every day makeup. It is much more dramatic and visible. But remember, when the girls are on stage it looks totally different. For dance pics the girls did have to be in full costume, and had to bring every costume for each dance they were in so they could be in the class pictures. I have to say at our schools the costumes were quite cute and not too risque except sometimes the spandex costumes for jazz or modern dances did not look so good on the heavier dancers (and I always felt badly for them and wondered why the teachers were not more respectful of that when picking costumes) I guess I would say stage makeup is fine for recitals or competition only but I don't think i would appreciate my dd in revealing costumes. As long as your dd's know that the make up is for recitals only and that they are too young to wear make up otherwise it shouldn't be too much of an issue. I am surprised, though, that you have not seen their costumes yet. I am hoping they are cute and not inappropriate for their age.
“Before you speak, it is necessary for you to listen, for God speaks in the silence of the heart.”

~Mother Theresa

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Old 05-04-2007, 01:51 PM
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I did ballet for years way back when, and I had lots of makeup on then.
I think if you explain to your daughter that there is stage clothes and make up, not be confused with everyday clothes, as the perevious ladies mentioned, it should be ok.
Talk with the teacher about your concerns, if only to put your mind at ease.
How does your daughter feel about the clothes etc?

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Old 05-12-2007, 02:18 PM
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I have to agree with these ladies that has written to you already..

Let me state I'm raising gd's from my daughter... she was in dance, and I don't request it althought her life has turned into liking to dance for a living. But it was NOT because she did dance as a child..
In fact I'm looking into dance for my youngest gd now. Again Like I've already mention these girls lives with me.
and if she has to use make up even at this age I will teach her that there is a time to wear it and a time not to.

Does what you do make a difference in other things to these girls, Yes.. for who knows what happens down the road... What you teach them even if it for 10 min per week, you do not know how it will impact thier lives.
I used to think what I taught my gd's was not worth much, when thier mother who they were living with was allowing certain things.
But you see sweety it has impacted my life for now I'm raising them and what I did or didn't allow them they know it. The youngest one still gives me alot of problems, but I've laid a fountation back then.
Plus who knows what holds in the future, if for some reason you had to take over and raise them... you to would lay a good fountation.

One job may allow you to do something, another job may not.. but think what each job has taught you..

Here again, these girls will know what you and your dh are teaching them and what thier mother has.. one day it will come to a full circle and you be proud of what influence you had on them...
don't quit teaching them lessons no matter if it for a lesson for 10 min...

but when it comes to dance make up... relax it ok... again you are allowing them to have fun, dress up like little girls does from time to time, and you are teaching them that when they do it not something you do all the time.

My gd will dress theirselves up with makeup and I sometime have to hide my laugher, but they know they can't go around looking like that..
they will sometimes wear lip gross to school, again they have to learn how much is to much.

oh, did I tell you that my gd's are almost 7 and the other one just turned 8 last month.. and again I'm the gmother....

Hugs and hope all works out for you. if you need to talk about how a mom does one vs your way... pm me...I will lsten just like the other ladies...
this is one of the friendliness and caring groups you will find on the net..
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Old 06-07-2007, 11:06 AM
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How did everything work out, Dee?
It is nice to be important but it is more important to be nice
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Old 06-07-2007, 03:15 PM
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Sad face

Well I'm sorry to say thing's didn't go well. Not at all.

The girls had their pictures last Sunday, but their mom wouldn't let us take the costumes. We agreed to get there 45 minutes early to allow her to get them dressed and I was going to do their hair before we left the house (makeup wasn't needed for the pics).
First I couldn't do the youngest hair because it's so baby-fine it wouldn't hold any curl. I didn't want to add any styling products because I was just going to let their mom do it once we got there, since it wasn't likely to take 45 minutes to get them dressed.

Anyways... their mom pretty much stood them up. We were there early like we told her we would be, but she decided to take her oldest daughter up to get her pictures taken even earlier. By the time we got there (which was when we said we would) she was already long gone. She couldn't even be decent enough to leave their costumes.

In the end the girls had to miss out on their pictures and it ruined the whole day. But it's just like her to find a way to ruin our time with the children. I mean gee, we have them a whole night every two weeks. You'd think she could handle it, but evidentally not.
Sick part is a lot of what we go through is addressed in court orders, but the courts wony enforce anything. We're pretty much left with expecting the milk to spill so we won'y be so pissed off when it does... if you know what I mean. LOL.

Anyways... thanks for the concern. Hopefully next time I have an update it will be something good for a change.
Take care!
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