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Divorce Divorce can be an emptional and financial roller coaster. Talk about it with those who have been through it before.

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Old 08-09-2004, 08:37 PM
tashablueyes's Avatar
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Tell your story.

Divorce can be a really hard thing to deal with... does anyone want to tell their personal story and how they have overcome the big "D" word?
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Old 08-27-2004, 04:44 PM
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divorce

i am going thru a divorce right now, and its mentally draining! not really over the whole thing yet, he s went on w/ his life but i havent yet!!!!!!!!! its not final yet either!!!!!!!!!!!! tonia
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Old 08-28-2004, 10:09 PM
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I think that it is always hard to move on. My sister has been divorced for 3 years now, and even though she does not love him anymore and knows what a jerk he is... there are still the good memories to contend with. Just remember in your heart that God wants you to be complete and have a wonderful marriage... it will come! Do you have kids together?
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Old 08-29-2004, 02:32 PM
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divorce

yes we have 2 beautiful daughters together!!!!!!!! even though he doesnt try to get along for the kids!!!!!!!!!! thanks for the inspiration!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! tonia
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Old 08-30-2004, 04:18 AM
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I just became seperated from my DH of 4 yrs. We combined families, my teen boys and his 12 yr old son. My oldest has moved out along time ago. But its my17 yr ds that my DH doesnt get along with. He hates him in fact. Which has been very hard on me. Constant fighting, yelling back and forth and no respect on either side. So, DH moved him and his son out to a friends. It is hard, as DH and I get along great, when kids arent in the picture. But I chose my son over him right now, as I have a responsibility to my child until hes out of school, and ready to go out on his own.
We are dividing stuff up amlicaably (sp?) and still see and talk to each other. He is moving however 4 hrs away, to try to start a business. We are hoping we can still see each other and in a few years I will move over there to Montana to be with him.
But, I know my DH. He does not like to sit home alone, and will end up in the bar for comfort. Im afraid he will meet someone else over there then to fill his void. But, I will live with that if it happens, and then move forward myself. It is very hard, and painful, but I do believe things happen for a reason.
If we were meant to be together, it will happen.
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Old 08-30-2004, 04:10 PM
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Yeah, that must really be hard! I do not get along with my mom's future husband. (they have been together for about 10 years) and when I lived with them he blamed me for everything, she picked his side and there are things I still have not told her because I know she would think that I was lying... anyway... I think it has hurt their relationship anyway and I don't feel the same about her. You are right, if things are meant to be they will fall into place, and who knows, it may be you who has the change of heart. Hang in there! A year is not so terribly long.
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Old 08-31-2004, 04:35 AM
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I divorced my first husband after seven years of h--l. I was verbally, physically, mentally abused by this man. Our son was 3 years old and I was holding him in my arms and he forced me out of the truck and pulled a 30.06 rifle on me and made me get on my knees and beg me for my life! Thank goodness there was a car with his friends and my brother behind us. When it came time to divorce him he tried to get custody of our son. I was intimidated by him at the beginning of the divorce. I was, terrified to be honest. Then I found my guts again and boy when I found them, it was like releasing the flood gates of a dam. I told my lawyer everything....how I had received a call from some woman saying he had fathered her child, the gun incident and that I had witnesses, all the abuse, you name it and I pulled it out. Well, when my lawyer called his lawyer he told him that Gerard, our son, would be a grandfather before his father got out of jail if he pursued the custody issue. He dropped it immediately, mainly because he had other plans. The day of our divorce, the judge asked him the date of Gerards birthday...he gave the wrong date!
He also had already sent out wedding invitations to his second wedding which was to take place the following Sunday. (Our divorce was final that Wednesday) He tried to pull one last thing. He wanted his mother to be able to have Gerard on the weekends and ALL holidays. I just laughed and told my lawyer no way was that going to happen and if he pursued the issue I would stall the divorce. I wasn't the one who was stupid enough to send out wedding invitations before being divorced in the first place!!

I remarried the following May to a wonderful man. I have been married to him for 25t years. He raised my son as though he were his own. We have never used to the term "step" in this house. We have two sons. Both are loved to death by their dad and both love their dad. Gerard has little or no contact with his birth father. He is an adult with a son of his own and he really feels that his dad is my dear hubby. Matter of fact he has told my husband that and he has let his dad know in no uncertain terms how he feels. His dad has lost out on knowing what a great man our son has become. He has also lost out on knowing his grandson. All because he has chosen his stepchildren to his third wife over his son and his two daughters by his second wife.
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Old 09-01-2004, 10:10 PM
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That is what amazes me so much about my sister's ex's new wife... does she like to be abused? Did she not see the fact that he did not get ANY custody of his own child as a red flag? I tell you what, if I were single, and a recently divorced man wanted to date me, I sure as heck would find out the details of his failed marriage!!! And the worst is, she knows that he has done this TWICE! How dumb and or desperate can you possibly be?
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Old 09-02-2004, 03:59 AM
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Well my ex's second wife was young....I always said he married her for 2 reasons

#1. He could train her the way he wanted her to be.

#2. She was already pregnant.

She and I did have a battle royale. Gerard called me, he was 7, he had never liked garden peas. Not even as a baby. She had forced him to eat some. Literally forced him. He called me crying because of this. Well, needless to say...the old saying hell hath no fury....came into play..I went out there, she came to the door thinking (wrongly I might add) that she was going to stop me from getting my son and leaving. I had told him to get his stuff ready and I would be there to pick him up. (After asking where his dad had been during this whole episode, of her forcing him to eat the peas, hitting him, him getting sick, and then making him eat another spoonful, he had been sitting there throughout the whole thing, never said a word in defense of Gerard) She came out and stood there with hands on hips, like some female warrior, yeah right, this woman lost her mind!! I told her to get out of my way I was there to get my son and she better move. Well, one thing led to another and she swung at me....bad move on her part....I just stepped one step aside and she fell off the porch. Now, you might be wondering where her dh was....watching tv. I walked into the trailer, got Gerard....lit into his dad...he stood up and raised his hand...I told him take your best shot and I'll see you buried under the jail along with your wife for assault and battery not only on me but on your son...we left without further incident. Gerard did not see his dad again for 3 months. I contacted my lawyer (I had made sure I got not only custody of Gerard but also control of him, very important) explained what had happened, they informed ex's lawyer and told him that due to the traumatic incident he would not see his son for 3 months and if it happened again he would not see his son for a year.
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Old 09-04-2004, 06:32 PM
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As I stated in an earlier post, my dh and I are "still seeing" each other. But I dont know if I can endure it. If I ask him where he went say the other day, he gets all mad and says hes not doing anything wrong. He loves me. and only me he says. I do have trouble trusting him. as in the past he has lied about NOT being at a bar, and he actually was. In fact, last year, I caught him with his arm around a married woman whom we know. Not just a hi- how are you around either. I was devestated. He was SO drunk, I guess he forgot he was married. That is a whole nother story. He swears nothing happened. Which being as drunk as he was, I do belive it. But to me, having your arm around someone else- is something. Whenever I see this woman, I get a stomache. I just get bad vibes. We saw her last weekend at a bullorama, His friend said to him in front of me- " Oh theres Robbyn" Like why would his friend say that to him? I mentioned that, and why would he say that ? Well, DH about blew a gasket, saying youve ruined the evening, "Ive said nothing happened, there is nothing, so just drop it. " Which I thought it was odd he got So mad ==

How would any of you deal with this situation? I really dont have any friends I can talk to about this, but it really bothers me. I know I should just drop it. Esp if we are talking about staying together, and moving in back after my son is moved out in about 1 1/2 yrs. But I just did not feel good about his friend saying -oh theres whats her name.

He is enjoying his time away from me I know that. Tonite hes camping with some friends. We did go to dinner last nite, but he walked me straight to my car afterwards, like he had better things to do. It just drives me nuts sometimes wondering where he is. I am trying to keep busy, Im starting to redo my kitchen, which is alot more work than I thought, so keeping busy helps me keep my mind occupied.
Maybe Im fighting a loosiing battle, and should just forget it. I do love him, Miss him. what to do?
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