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Go Back Forums > Parenting > Parenting Issues > College Parents

College Parents Full time or part time student and taking care of kids? Talk to others in your boat!

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  #1 (permalink)  
Old 06-24-2002, 03:12 AM
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Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Newfoundland, Canada
Posts: 9
Exclamation HELP!!! I'm going to be a full-time student and a mother of two!!!!

I need some inspirational stories from people that have been or are in my situation. I am recently divorced, a mother of two young kids (girl 4 and boy 2) and I am starting school as a full-time student in September.

My family has been shaking their heads at me because of my decision to go back to school when I have such young kids. I figure that I have to have some way to support them and I can't do that on just child support.

I am sure this is the best solution for me and the kids.

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Old 06-24-2002, 07:34 PM
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Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Bradford, Pa
Posts: 1
You go girl

Looks like me and you are in the same boat :p :p , I just finished
one year and will be returning this coming year again, you've really have your hands full. Don't lose your mind over this all it takes is a little better organization on your part and planning ahead The first month I will warn you if you haven't been in school for 13yrs like I was then it's gonna be tough, I really relied
on my friends for support and family my husband at the same time got a new job which required alot of travelling, so that made me learn to plan ahead. Prepare crockpot meals, if you go during the day, don't forget time to study which I did when I was by myself, but you have 2 children I would suggest studying when they are napping or bedtime, set a scheduel that works best for you. Let your professors, instructors know that you are a single
parent of 2 hey what could it hurt at least you are doing the best for your children educationally and financially once your done.
Good Luck, email me if you need support.
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Old 06-26-2002, 11:05 AM
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Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: East Texas
Posts: 6
back to school

I decided 15 years ago to go back to school full time. I know what your're thinking, "that isn't relevant to me". But I had 2 teanagers and a full time business of being a childcare provider, so I was going mostly at nite and had to hire a girl to come in a couple of hours a week. I finally recieved my degree in early child care and it was definatly worth it. I have a much better veiw of myself and what I do for a living. I still care for children in my home. I have learned if nothing else that what I do is very important. I grow children's brains and I don't think that is stating it too strongly. Most of a persons brain development happens in the first 3 years of a childs life. I don't think that is too shabby a profesion. I would never have known that had I not gone back to school. I say go for it, and do the best you can. Just know from the onset that it will be much more dificult than when you were a kid in hogh school. There will be times that you will wonder if it is worth it. Only you can answer that question for you.
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Old 06-28-2002, 09:42 AM
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Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Oregon
Posts: 13
Good for you for going back to school! I know it's hard to go back when your kids are crying for you--mine are 5 and 6, and even though they stay with Dad at night, they don't like me being gone. You just have to know that you are doing this to make yourself a better person--for yourself, and for them. Your kids are younger, but I just tell my girls that this is making Mommy happy and how much I love learning, and that it won't be forever. I found an adult studies program that works off of the 2 year degree I already have, so I only have to go one night per week. The homework takes a lot of time though. It's considered full-time school. I didn't get a lot of support from my husband at first; he said I had to be able to keep up with the household stuff too. But once I started and he saw how much I was learning, and how it made me a better person, he started respecting me more. We're muddling through, but things always work out somehow. I think you're making a good decision! I hope that you have quality childcare for your kids--it's not worth it if they aren't in a safe place. We've gone without a lot of the stuff our friends have, just because the times we've thought we finally found someone quality to watch our kids, something happens and we just tell ourselves it's so much easier to trust ourselves than other people raising our kids. Sometimes I've thought we would never make it to the time both of them are in school so I could work more and be at home the same time as my husband. We've worked opposite shifts for the last 4 years, and although it is a sacrifice, we feel it's been worth it. Hang in there, and work hard to achieve your goals. Good luck!
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Old 06-28-2002, 11:46 AM
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Location: New Mexico
Posts: 85
Back to school

I went back to school when my oldest child was a baby and I was pregnant with my second. Thankfully I hade my mother - in - law and sister -in -law, grandmother, aunts etc. You get my point to care for the baby. Will your family help? If not go to your church and see if they have a daycare. They should be able to give you a discount if they can't give you daycare for free. If that is not a option ask them to ask for someone that is willing to baby sit.

Just remember you are making a better life for you and your children. Whatever you do will make a easier life down the road.

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Old 06-29-2002, 07:57 AM
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Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: TEXAS
Posts: 5
full time student

Congratulations! Good for you!

It can be a difficult time in your life, but you can do it. When I went back to school at the age of 35, my child was 7 ... 2 years later I was married again, pregnant, and once again single.

The most important thing is to not put unreasonable expectations on yourself. For example, with 1 child I was an A student, with 2 (my baby was 4 months old, and I was nursing) I allowed myself to be a B student. My children were most important.

Giving myself the freedom to have reasonable expectations, was letting go of stress.

If finances are a struggle for you, many communities have subsidized child care for students/low-income. Day care centers (if you must use them) have the name of the agency that manages that.

By all means communicate your situation to your professors. While they can't always give you extra time to complete projects, they can do things that you might not expect.

Do as much of your studying and homework as possible while still on the college grounds. Even a corner in the student union is sometimes more productive than a stolen hour at home. I think this is because you're in school mode ... away from school you're back in mom mode.

Good luck, and many blessings. The fruits on your efforts will pay off in the long run.

Debby Willett
Freelance Writer, Columnist, Editor
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Old 06-29-2002, 11:02 AM
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Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Central Ohio
Posts: 6

You stick to your guns and don't give up.
I was a single, mother with 3 young children to support with only minimum wage jobs available for me in our town. I decided to go to college. Everyone shook their heads and I heard all the reasons why I would fail. I got an associate degree in computer programing. But, those jobs were limited in our area. Believe it or not, I went back to school and became a certified firefighter and paramedic and a nurse. Again, heads shook, I was crazy, not being a good mother, could never do it. There were grants available, even for living expenses, so the kids were not deprived of anything they needed. These same people then told me how proud they were of me. And, I got a GOOD paying job. The proudest day of my life was when my son put his arms around me and said, "I sure am proud of you, Mom. You're a great Mom and you sure are smart." That made it all worth it. So, DO IT. YOU WON'T REGRET IT!
Good luck
Barbara S
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Old 06-29-2002, 10:42 PM
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Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Eastern Washington State
Posts: 21
Go for it!! I have a daughter that was newly divorced and had 5 children, and only graduated high school when she married. After the divorce she came to me for advice on returning to school. I told her, "in 6 yrs. you can be right where you are now or in 6 yrs. you can have your degree, it's up to you where you want to be." Well let me tell you, she is now a clinical pshchologist, and is a grandmother .
If you have the inclination you DO it, you won't be sorry.
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Old 06-30-2002, 06:44 AM
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Location: Up North Michigan
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Good for you Girl! GO! GO! GO!

I always wanted to go back to school but something always got in the way. Don't make my mistake. I am almost 50 now and NEVER got back to school. Now for health reasons it is impossible for me. I do take short courses on various topics to help me fill the void of not learning. I love to learn new things and if I don't I get bored and depressed!

I know it will be hard for you but in the long run, it is the "BEST" for you!

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Old 07-07-2002, 09:23 AM
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Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Midwest
Posts: 7
Don't Let Anything Stand in Your Way!!!

Oh boy, I certainly can identify with your situation! I have started and stopped school three different times and it is the major regret of my life. I also have two children. You will be eligible for higher paying jobs and have more variety of jobs available to you with a college degree. You will be able to give your kids a much better life. Fortunately I am now remarried to a man that makes a very decent living, so he set me up in my business. Without that support however, my life would have been very different.

You have set your goals and that's half the battle!! Stick to it. You can even take online classes at most colleges now, so you could take additional classes and do the work online after the kids are in bed and get done sooner.

Good luck!!!
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