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  #11 (permalink)  
Old 07-15-2002, 04:26 PM
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Sorry I haven't replied

I am soory that It has taken me so long to get back to everyone and help with encouragement. Our Grandaughter went over the top last week and it has been a VERY stressful time since then. I woke up to find that she had run away. After calling the police and hunting for her for all morning we finally found her. She had done aome vandalizing of a garage down the street and had done other things while she was gone. I took her immediately to the mental hospital where she goes. They kept her for several days (6) and when they were about ready for her to leave I told them that I felt that it was not safe to have her in our home again right now. I was not able to keep her under control and keep the reat of us safe also. even though we locked her in her room every night she managed to get out.

She went to an emergency shelter for youth and will stay there until Aug 8th. I pray that by then she will have a place to go at the facility for behaviora problem children. It is a good place and i think it is the on;y place we can hope that she will get the help she so desperately needs.

I went to see her last night and she is so far off in her own world that she hardly knoew we were there. when she first saw US she acted like she was happy to see usbut it wasn't long before she was up wondering aimlessly around. It broke my heart. She seems to be getting worse so fast right now. is that normal from what the rest of you havve seen or is it just that she is going through so much right now?

I appreciate that all of you have been so willing to share your stories with me.

May you load be lighter by walking this road together.

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A friend is one to whom one may pour out all the contents of one's heart, chaff and grain together, knowing that gentle hands will take and sift it, keep what is worth keeping and, with a breath of kindness, blow the rest away.
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Old 07-16-2002, 08:06 AM
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hi...

i just popped in to see the commentary on a mental health issue.

i'm bipolar and have been under types of care for over 30 years now. i'm proud to say that i'm doing well now in coping with my problems and am happy.

my daughter was an incest victim and it all came out just before adolescence. regardless of all the therapy and work my spouse (not her father) put in, those years were total living h***. i felt like a hostage in my own home as she couldn't be trusted alone. she would steal and raid the food supplies and even defecate in strange places....oh, it just went on and on and didn't end until she was 17 and got in an argument with me about ssmashing up the car and she moved out. it's embarrassing but i was so relieved and we then managed to scratch together a better relationship. she has completed college and is a proffessional cook and is married now.

so....when i read your posts it brought back the memories of going through the having of a child in distress and feeling powerless to help or cope.

i can only say that we all survived somehow.

i was quite impressed with the knowledge here and intelligent discussion. i wonder, sometimes, if a mental health forum would be good.

cheers ladies,

carol
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Old 07-16-2002, 09:30 PM
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Well, we made it through last week without incident! We met with a psychiatrist on Monday and it went really well. They gave us a diagnosis of her being bipolar. This is no surprise, but still stings a little. She is on Paxil and Trileptal. She has done well during the day, but at night she carries on very evolved conversations in her sleep and walks in her sleep! We never know where she will be found. Luckily we have multiple locks on all the doors Sunday morning she screamed "mom-dad call 911, there's a man!!" You never saw one fat ole broad move so fast in your life!! LOL At least I know I can move fast if I really need to!

Good luck sisters!
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Old 07-17-2002, 07:21 AM
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Why are nights always so difficult. Untill Kattie went to the shelter last week I hadn't slept at night in so long. I had to be awake so that I could keep her from getting into harm. Now that she is gone for awhile you would think I would sleep like a baby but instead I still lay awake or just don't bother to go to bed. Can't make it up during the day because I have to be able to deal with the 6yr/old.

Bipolar was always something that I feared and it took a long time for me to finaly accept the idea that that is what my problem is. Now that I have lived with the diagnoses for a couple years (I've lived with the problem since I was a teen) I am finding that now that I have the right meds I am doing so much better and feeling so much better. I still have a lot of down depressed times but nothing as bac as I used too and hardly ever do I have a manic period anymore. I think you will find that if your daughter stays on her meds that both of you will be feeling better soon. You do need to get more help for her nights. You just can't live with her like that at night.

We are to have another HOT day here. grd#2 got a swimming pool yesterday after she had been being promised for over a week that we would get one - we had a had time finding one. she spent the entire day outside - most of the time it was in the shade but she ended up with a bad burn on her shoulders and back. I wonder if she will be out there so long today. Think I will make her come in when the sun is the hottest this afternoon. She was even back in it after dinner last night - that was after 8 pm. She sure slept good though

Hope your day is filled with the weather your area needs - rain or shine

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Old 07-18-2002, 07:28 AM
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To all:

This post is long, very sorry, but provides resource information regarding agressive etc. behaviors and metabolism.

Background:

A kid gets too out of control and the docs end up whacking them with thorazine. Well, all that does is numb the brain but doesn't do anything for the cause of these obviously uncontrollable behaviours. When we catch the kid in a "normal" moment, we can tell that they're not acting out specifically to make us crazy (well, not all the time anyway...). Unless we can find and treat causes, nothing is really accomplished.

When I was more active on various boards and lists hunting for symptoms and diagnoses, I had a lot of contact with autism lists. They seem to be the people who deal with the widest array of dysfunctions and disorders, and they're knowledge is far ranging. Much of it, of course, was discounted by "professionals" because after all we're just parents, what could we possibly know. (sheesh, if I had a nickel for every time I've heard that...)

A lot of what you read on some of the boards has to do with metabolism and digestion. Leaky gut, food sensitivities, milk protein problems, things like that seem to form a common thread underneath most of these problems. Parents finally give up with drug after drug that doesn't work and go to supplements that do. There are no guidelines for although each has to experiment until they come up with the right combinations and dosages that help their own children.

The heart of the matter:

On a board I've not paid much attention to in awhile, a discussion arose about helping children with anger, destructive and aggressive behaviors, defiance, general out-of-controlness.

Some useful quotes from this discussion.....

"...the three enzymes we use daily are HN-Zyme Prime, AFP Peptizyde, and No-Fenol. The first two help the child digest all kinds of food properly, so they don't have the buildup of proteins in their system. We tried the GFCF diet <note: gluten-free casein-free diet - lots of info online about this> but did not see much change (until we took him off, and then he began to act very strangely so we put him back on). Then we discovered the enzymes and tried them while taking him off the GFCF diet. His behavior improved a great deal in school, his teacher swears it was the enzyme therapy..."

"...changes included better eye contact, big reduction in aggression, more sociabilitiy. Still problem with ADHD but even that is more manageable..."

"... No-Fenol is an enzyme that helps reduce hyperactive behavior when a child eats fruits, red dye in candies..."

"...fruits make him hyper. We had to switch from Peptizyde to AFP-Peptizyde because the AFP version doesn't use fruit in the
enzyme..."

"...two labs that sell the enzymes are Houston Neutraceuticals www.houstonni.com, and Kirkman Labs www.kirkmanlabs.com..."

"...also, you might try lurking on the EnzymesandAutism message board on AOL. That is where I found out about this type of therapy..."

"...I think the product prople are using from Kirkman Labs is called SuperNu Thera..."

"...These enzymes are definitely not a cure-all. There are still many things he needs to work on and we need to help him with, but the aggression seems diminished a lot. It's a relatively inexpensive therapy that gives pretty good results within about 3 wks..."

I ran a web search on "GFCF diet schizophrenia" this morning and found all sorts of stuff - much of it in the autism field. A whole lot more is known about enzyme metabolism and brain chemistry now. I may look into some of this stuff for my own dd even though she's 25 now. Two other dd, still in their teens, show tendencies toward depression and bi-polar, and both boys have always shown passive/aggressive, ODD, and OCD streaks. Geez what's going on here!? We've always focused so on dd25 with autism/epilepsy/schizophrenia that the rest of them have seemed inconsequential. Ever tried to get an only moderately depressed kid some help? Almost impossible. Guess it's time to put my own research hat back on and catch up to date.

-Chris
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  #16 (permalink)  
Old 07-18-2002, 01:54 PM
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Chris, I know what you mean about professionals telling you you are just a parent. When my 3rd child was born, I told the dr that there was something wrong with her back...I was told I had guilt feelings and was somehow manifesting its with my dd because she was premature!!!

Well, when she was about 4 she started having trouble with her legs, hurting etc. She was put in a leg cast, which alleviated the pain. when it was off, it hurt...diagnosisl...all in her head. Two years later, WE discovered she had severe congenital scoliosis!! Even the Pedi didn't believe us. The ortho surg. said he NEVER would have guessed it was as bad as it was. So much for MY paranoia!

With my older 2 dd, I recognized weird behavoir that was comparable to my late husband's behavior. But I didn't have a name for it. A school where we were living said she had a hard time learning and that she was a jealous child and was angry...why? They didn't know!!!! Now we know that she had prob. adhd and bipolar.

Same thing with this child, I was told I was comparing children, overprotective, etc. I demanded help and evaluations when she was in K. Thank God that I didn't take no for an answer. I feel that the sooner that you get help for a kid the better. And certainly know what you are dealing with!!!

Take care sisters.
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Old 07-23-2002, 01:16 PM
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Had an outing with grd

Yesterday I took my grd out from the shelter and we spent the afternoon together. It went very well. Last week her Mother took her out for a day and it ended up with grd loosing all priviages for 72 hours.

She seems to be so far away most of the time but yesterday she was able to carry on a couple short conversations. She asked about things at home which she hadn't even mentioned since she went to the shelter. she would sayshe wanted to go with us but never said I want to go home.

I wish things would move a little faster so that we could get her settled into the facility before it is time for school to start. She may be going to the facitly for just day treatmnent soon and that will help. They moved her from the nursery area to the next age level and now she is having group several times a week.

Hope things are going well with everyone else. It is so hard to carryone with this but having each other to share it is such a big help to me at least.


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Old 07-24-2002, 09:20 PM
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I got a call this afternoon from the district attorney's office to tell me that they were filling the papers to have my grd declair a CHINA (child in need of assisstance) after it goes to the judge and he approves it the state will take physical custody ( we will retain guardianship) that will open the doors to the treatment facility.

Right now she is very angery with me and her mom. she feels like we are throwing her away I am sure. She doesn't understand that we have to do this for her and it sure does hurt. I feel like a part of me is being cut off. like they are taking a knife and cutting her out of me somewhere around my heart.

she has been calling me every day I wonder if she will call tomorrow or if she will feel like she can't trust me any more either. she hasn't felt she could trust her parents for a long time.


I am trying not to ask why and just to accept that God has chosen us to care for this special child of His. Sometimes I don't feel up to it but I am going to go on doing the very best I can for her. That is all I can do.


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A friend is one to whom one may pour out all the contents of one's heart, chaff and grain together, knowing that gentle hands will take and sift it, keep what is worth keeping and, with a breath of kindness, blow the rest away.
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Old 07-25-2002, 08:57 PM
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Stitcher45, Honey do NOT beat yourself up!!!! God sen t you that child BECAUSE you won't throw her away. I have a special child and I decided a while ago that she is different than other children and I would do ALL that I can to ensure that she get treatment, NO MATTER WHAT. I would even leave my husband (to go on welfare) to ensure that she get treatment, thank God I don't have too, though.

Tell this poor soul that you love her enough to try every possible avenue to get her what she needs -- to be whole, healthy, and able to live and love herself. It is unfortunate in this country that we as parents and couples have to do this to get our children treatment. BUT, you deal with what ya have. That is the reality of it. Yes, she might be upset, but remember she doesn't have the ability to think straight. Keep this mantra. I told my 8 year old "no matter what you do I WILL ALWAYS love you". Through it all she has remembered that.

Have your church or someones church have a prayer circle for her. I've heard it works even if the person isn't aware of it. Works in our circles. Bless your heart I know how hard this is. My prayers go out to you and your family.

Barbara

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Old 07-25-2002, 09:43 PM
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Thank you Barbara

thank you for you words of support. Yes it has been very hard to do but I know that I can no longer give her the care and direction she needs. she does so much better in a very ordered situation.

She was sick today so I had to go take her to the doctor. - she had just caught a bug and is fine. She was willing to talk to me today and even seemed a little excited when I told her about starting in the day treatment there on Mon.

Yes I use that matra myself and have since she was a little one and would have her terrible outbursts. I have also told her I will never leave her. She caught me on that today and I said but I'm not really leaving you. I will always be there when you need me to, like I was today when you got sick. We will be together as often as they feel is best for you to get better. And some day in not a too distant future you will come back home with me. when you do we will both know how to better help you behave like I know you really want to be able to behave.

Unfortunatly I am without a church right now. I have been floundering in finding one where I feel like I fit in and that my husband will go with me. we have let some friends from the church we did belong to about what is happening and asked them to pray for her. I know that every time the board mets they pray forher and others before the meeting starts.

You know I don't know what I would do to get through all this if I didn't have my faith. It has been tested so many times and each time it seems to grow stronger. Thank goodness that my parents were faithful to Jesus and taught me to love and respect Him when I was a child. I am truely blessed.

May God Bless you today and every day. I know you have been a blessing to me today.

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A friend is one to whom one may pour out all the contents of one's heart, chaff and grain together, knowing that gentle hands will take and sift it, keep what is worth keeping and, with a breath of kindness, blow the rest away.
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