Barb, I can understand how you feel. There was a period of time when my son was around 3 that he seemed uncontrollable when were would go anywhere. I would have to take him grocery shopping by myself ( because my DH works at night and would be sleeping) and most of the time it was such a hassle with him. He stopped taking naps at 2 yrs old to make matters worse!
I started going places with him in the morning. It seemed to help a lot, he wasnt as tired and irritable (sp).
We traveled to NY in a car with him then too. We took rest stops so that he could run around. I would suggest taking some of his favorite toys too.
In the end, I hate to say this, but if your vacation isnt kid friendly, I would stay home until he grows out of this stage. ( AND HE WILL!!

)
I would be so

if my DH would even threaten to leave with my other kid and go without us. I hope that he doesnt do that to you. You dont deserve to be punished for having a young child!!
I know that I didnt offer much advice but I just wanted to let you know that youre not alone!!
Tami