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barbszy 09-21-2004 09:57 AM

I should have seen this coming...
My 8 year old DD is really being a problem about homework this school year. She rushes through it as fast as possible, making mistakes like misspelling words that are right there on the page, being sloppy, just silly stuff.
When DH or I tell her to "look at #5 again" or "check your spelling on this word" she flies off the handle, rolls her big eyes, stomps off.....not only is she being rude and disrespectful but she is neglecting her responsibility as a student.
Last year her teacher said that she did something like that in school if the teacher pointed out a mistake. I need to check with her teacher this year.

Has anyone else had a problem like this with your child, and how did you handle it?

RenJac1301 09-27-2004 07:55 PM

hey brbs
In how, I have been there.
What works with Jacob is I get off the work for a bit, I have stocked 3 rubbermade crates with crafts,
If EVEN feel Jacob is fixen to fly off I say ok, go to the crate pick a craft, it relaxes him and after crafts he is ready for schoolwork,
Your daughter is old enough have to tried to teach her knitting and you dont know how to knit yall can learn together
or get her her very own sewing machine?
Ill see what i can come up at my end on suggestons and ask her what kinda crafts she want to do

elrey 09-30-2004 06:29 PM

Have you tried taking away privleges? Or let her take the consequences for not doing her homework correctly. Maybe you need to get together with her teacher and discuss it. Most teachers are very helpful and have been through this sort of thing before. Is this assigned "homework" or is this work she didnt finish in class? You have a real power struggle on your hands and you cannot let her win or it will never stop . It will only get worse. I feel for you. Maybe you could work out with the teacher, keeping her in at recess and have her redo the incorrect homework. Thereby taking away the priveledge of recess. Or maybe a reward system. You know like extra priveleges for correct and calmly done homework. Boy, I remember when my boys were young I hated homework time. I even remember me as a kid hating homework time. I dont envy you.

ewriggs 09-30-2004 06:45 PM

Children often do not get enough exercise - and this expresses itself through difficulty with tasking.

"Enough" exercise is different for each person, and is not a 3 times a week soccer league! It means aerobic activity every single day!

When your DD gets frustrated, try having her run around the house, or around the parking lot if you live in an apartment (take care about traffic!).

Once she has gotten nicely out of breath, have her come back in, rest about 5 minutes and then try the homework bit again. If this works at home, then you will have something to talk to the teacher about - and a positive solution to offer.

You are talking about an 8 year old - some kids aren't mature enough at 8 or 9 or even 10 to be doing long hours of school then homework on top of that! What is your DD's learning style? Does she learn better by doing things with her hands (crafts) or reading? or hearing? or experiencing?

Each learning style is valid, and when met or not met, contributes to the success or failure of the child!

Working to help your DD learn to deal with the feelings of frustration she has will be of reat assistance to her in the future.

You might consider getting her a complete physical and talking to her pediatrician about it, too. If she has a physical problem that contributes to her behavior, that needs to be addressed.


velocity99 09-30-2004 07:18 PM

I have had a similar problem with my daughter, who is now in fourth grade. It's not that she was sloppy or making silly mistakes, it was just a general dislike for homework that I can only atttribute to pure laziness, and the fact that she is somewhat high-strung, easily frustrated and a bit of a perfectionist. I would spend several hours off and on with this homework (they attend a private school and get a ridiculously enormous amount of homework) to the point that it would be after 9:00 pm and sometimes there would still be homework to be done. I tried to speak to the principal, who referred me to the school psychologist, who I believe was having some private little "chats" with her that I was not supposed to ask about. They apparently weren't helpful. But one thing the psychologist told me was not to get stressed about it, if she doesn't want to do it, she can deal with the consequences herself. I did find once she knew I wasn't right behing her the whole time, and she needed to be responsible, she did get more conscientous. Not to the level I believe she should be, but a slight improvement. I find this year she is a little better, I think because she has matured a little more. But now I have the same problem with my first grader so I have no more time for the 4th grader anyway. I try to tell them I am available only until 6:00 pm ( I pick them up at 3, so I think that is more than enough time to give them). I also take away privileges, and offer small rewards, but they don't appear motivated by them. They seem to need instant gratification or something. All I can say is that it is very much a power struggle, and as the other poster stated, it will only get worse. I honestly don't know what the answer is, and I'm sorry to have rambled on and on like this, but this is something I have struggled with for a long time. I also have a 10th grader. He's very bright and teachers always adore him, but is the kind of student who will only do what is necessary to get by. I am baffled by it because I attended Catholic schools my whole life and would have been terrified to arrive at school and not have my homework done neatly and perfectly each day.


beckri 10-01-2004 08:59 AM

Not sure if it's been hit upon already, but...
My dd is 10 and is like that now and then. I would simply take her by the hand and lead her back to the table. Though I wonder if you allow for any down time after school before attempting the homework. If so, try not letting her play until her work is done satisfactorily and if not, let her play for a half hour or so before doing the work. It may make a world of difference.

Goria 10-01-2004 05:06 PM

Eight??? Wow - her attitude more than the homework issue has to be dealt with. It might help to explain to her that griping and complaining and stomping off is NOT acceptable and set family/home values and consequences and stick to them. If she continues with the attitude, it will get worse. The road is a hard one, but if you are consistant, it will eventually pay off. Talk to her teacher and get her on board with a game plan....a good communication system between home and school will be beneficial in this area....

barbszy 10-01-2004 05:33 PM

Yes, it is the attitude more than anything else that I really want to deal with. And she is told when she does it that there are consequences for that kind of disrespect (loss of a privilege, etc.)

Her teacher this year is very regimented, from the looks of things. She had all the parents intimidated at Back to School Night. In a way after meeting the teacher I don't think my daughter would dare show disrespect in class. Maybe she is saving it up for home.

After observing things for another week since my first post, I am also noticing that the rudeness really comes out when DD is doing work she's not confident in her ability to do. That tells me a lot!

Thanks for all the suggestions. They have given me lots of good ideas and food for thought.

BuddyBeanieBaby 02-03-2007 06:42 PM

Barb...I tried the following with my son mostly,he would rush through his homework and that was it...His teacher and I got together and came up with his very own "Homework Book",the teacher would write in the book what homework needed to be done...if it was done wrong then I would not sign the book until he corrected the mistakes he made...then when he did,I signed the book and he would take it back to school and then his teacher knew he was doing the homework properly and I knew what homework he had to do worked out great for us...

Also,set a time when the homework has to be done...say 1 hour and if she rushes through the homework she still has to stay and either check over her homework again for errors or read a book...letting her have a break for 5 minutes after completing a section of might be worth a try...

Good Luck...

DeBora4BobbyL 02-03-2007 07:03 PM

Barb, my DD was always pretty good with doing her school-work. However, it was like pulling teeth to get our DS to do his homework. He would spend 2 hours trying to get out of a 15 minute assignment. DD didn't start giving us "attitude" and "lip" until she was 16. With my DS, he had an exstinsively high pain tolerance, but he thoroughly loved his social life. With my DD, it was the opposite. Therefore, with DS, I would remove all his fun things, such as video games, bicycle, telephone, and so on, until his school work or chores were done. DD was easier to deal with as she begged me not to spank her. All I had to do, until she was 16 or 17, was threaten to look like I was going to spank her. When she got older, I had to take away priviledges as well.

Good luck. She sounds like a strong-will child. If you think she fits that profile, get Dr. Dobson's book, "The Strong-Willed Child." It is definately worth the read.

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