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Old 02-05-2007, 11:55 AM
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Debora, Cass knows the rules when she is with us and the consequences so we rarely have a problem. I keep my mouth shut as much as possible with my dd. It is her child so it is up to her . She treats her daughter more like a friend than a child. Lately she has been talking to me a little more about Cass not listening and ways to handle it. So I have hope
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Old 02-05-2007, 12:44 PM
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Cau, how old is your DGD?
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Old 02-06-2007, 07:02 AM
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DE Bora, She is 9 going on 90. She is very bright and is the only child and grandchild. She has been living with us on & off between 1& 2 1/2 when her mom left her dad. She has been with us ever since. The marriage was verbally abusive and took my dd a long time to get over. She still has self esteem issues. I have encouraged counseling but that is all I can do. My dgd was afraid of her own shadow when they first came but I have gotten her over that. She is confident , does well in school and socially right now.
It is funny I would have never thought my dd #1 was one who would have put up with the abuse but it starts so slowly it caught her up before she knew what hit her.
Sorry for rambling but felt it would help if you knew the background
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Old 03-11-2007, 04:01 PM
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Cau reading the post, and knowing that I am r aising my gd's too. This is my 3 time since they have started to school that I've had had them.
The youngest one will pull things with her mom that she will not me. She knows that I will not accept it, but she still tries.

whenever she does we talk about it and I tell her upfront I will not allow it. That maybe her mom does but it not fair for her to do things she knows not to. She not being fair to herself. I also have informed her that her mom and I are not the same person and that life will not always have the same rules. She needs to learn that.

Finally my daughter will lsten to me and allow me to take the control.. Like yesterday they went with their mom.. I informed my daughter that if they don't listen and follow directions after being told 2 times, let me know as I do a ticket program..
When they came home, thier mom informed me they were not good.
I took a ticket for everytime they were not following directions that was given to them on thier behavior. The youngest one had to give me 4 tickets. Which I was shocked that my daughter told this to me.

it takes time, standing your ground, not giving up, standing firm... it not easy but in the end I'm seeing awards. Praising GOD for that.

You and your daughter since she lives with you need to set ground rules.. where the gd knows who is watching her in case she doesnt' know this.
Then if your dd is then when a problem occurs tell the gd to go to mom...and tell mom to handle it.
Hope that makes sense.
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Old 03-12-2007, 07:43 AM
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My dd has ad an eyeopener. They were out and dgd was treating her mom like a big sister. Dd was mad and was complaining when she came home. So I had a heart to heart and told it will only get worse if she does not take control. DD often confuses consequences with disapline. She hates to punish dgd. So I helped her set up a few consequences for actions that really drive dd nutty. Time will tell,
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