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Old 04-06-2004, 06:53 PM
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I had to switch dd's school, her teacher-UGH!

I just had to go switch dd's class...her teacher-UGH!
Originally, dd's teacher seemed supportive but very set in her ways...she was convinced despite explanations and meetings with the Special Ed person and myself that dd's bipolar behavior was 'controllable' and that dd should be held accountable for behaviors she can't always control without her medications. Not only is 7 yr old dd bipolar but she's also ADHD.

Well...I noticed over the weekend that dd is getting more aggitated, she's having symptoms of instability. But, I never got a word from the teacher that they were having any problems with her at school.

So, I go to pick dd up from school and she wasn't around, so I went upstairs and didn't see her, so I came back down and sat in the car a second trying to figure out what to do-(since dd disappeared from school once before). So, I see one of her classmates and ask her where my dd is...she says she was sent to the re-focusing room, so she goes to get her and says she's coming. My dd comes out very upset, I asked her what's wrong and she told me that her teacher asked her if she had taken her meds...she told her yes and the teacher said, "I don't believe a word you tell me!!!"

I got very upset and decided to go up to talk to the teacher...this entire week is parent-teacher's conference so they were there afterschool with other parents and I just said when she's finished I needed to speak to her. I sat down and told her what my dd had told me. She said yes she had said that and I told her I thought she was wrong for telling her that. She takes her medication everyday, there's only been 1 time I forgot, they called me up there and I gave it to her.

She said that dd was having a bad day and that she had problems with her the last 3 days...first off, dd was absent yesterday and Friday!!! I told her I've tried several times to tell you that she is bipolar and that she is probably just outgrowing her meds.

She said, yes but she needs to be accountable for her actions sometimes, mom. I said yes she does but some things she can't control without medication. I told dd to get up and for us to go and I said, she'll see you tomorrow...she then grabbed dd and told her she apologized for what she said...

BUT, on the way out I could hear her say, OKAY!-like I'm being over-dramatic!!!

So, I went down to the principals office and told him and dd's counselor what she said. He got very upset and asked dd if she wanted to change classes...she said yes. I told him that this was not the first time dd had told me that she had told her she didn't believe her...the teacher admitted that she had told her that about other things. I told her I didn't appreciate what she said and I told her I had tried explaining dd's condition several times. I told her she will be on medication for the rest of her life, she takes medication 2X's a day!!!-(.specific information deleted by moderator ) and she can't control everything she does without meds.

No matter what I said she still didn't get it. She said again that dd has to be accountable for her actions, I said you're right...but she has medication and I really hope that the next child that has problems, you'll understand...

So, the principal and the Counselor were looking very upset with the teacher. He told me to come in at 8:00 a.m. and he would walk us down to dd's new 2nd grade class. They only have about 8 wks or less left of school, so she can't change anymore...he asked dd if she understood that. She said yes. I then went up with the teacher to the class and she said, "I'm glad you brought this up because sometimes I don't understand that it could be because they are just having a bad day...that could be why she was acting like that the last 3 days...)-UGH!

So, I sat with another teacher-(dd's class is two very large combined classes which equals 34 kids!!-OUCh, esp. since dd's old school in Tennessee there was only 14 kids to a class), and went over dd's report card which was excellent!!! Dd took her stuff to the new teacher's class and then there was another meeting with the principal, counselor, the teacher and the new teacher. But, before she left she said that hopefully this new teacher will be more patient than she is...

I took dd to celebrate her report card by going to Wendy's and as I went to drive back I saw her old teacher in her car just kinda looking at me. I drove on...

And what gets me is that she still doesn't get it!!! But, I'm glad dd is no longer there...she was coming home feeling awful because the teacher was ignoring her when she tried to tell her about someone messing with her...I told dd to tell the teacher but she would ignore dd. Dd got to the point she didn't want to go to school anymore so for the last couple of times I've given her a vacation from school. So this was the last straw with this teacher...thankfully the principal was willing to talk and to listen

Last edited by Lifestar; 04-07-2004 at 11:13 AM.
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Old 04-07-2004, 06:21 PM
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leasmom,
Is your dd in a mainstream school? That must be very tough on her to control herself even though she's outgrowing her meds. Just being 7 yo is tough enough as it is!
Good for you going to the principal & complaining about the teacher. Just because they're children doesn't mean that they aren't people who have feelings too!

Lisa
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Old 04-07-2004, 06:29 PM
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Thanks, Lisa!

Yes, she is in a mainstream school in a regular class with only a 504 plan, she really liked her new teacher and class. They are doing more work which dd likes, they are doing more math and are preparing for 3rd grade. Dd told me that they have rest time when they lay their heads down and they have extra excerise time in gym. So, she is very happy about being there and I've heard good things from other people about this teacher so I think she has a chance now...and I heard that she would understand dd's problems. So, I feel much better about it all!!!
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Old 04-07-2004, 07:29 PM
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Leasmom....You are a wonderful MOTHER. I am so glad you take an interest in your DD. There are not many single MOMS that are as wonderful as you. You worry about everyones happiness in everything you do. I wish you nothing but happiness on your move back to Tennessee. May you & your family have a Happy Easter.
_________
Sueanne
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Old 04-08-2004, 05:49 AM
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Leasmom, I'm glad the principal and the new teacher seem willing to work with you to make school a GREAT PLACE for your DD. It's hard to move her so late in the game but at least she will finish the year on a positive note. She'll be in an environment where she can learn and grow, and you won't have to worry about how she is being treated.
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Old 04-08-2004, 06:47 AM
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You gals have got me crying!!!

Thank you Suseanne, I appreciate those words...maybe I can live up to them!!!

Barbszy, yes, I think dd is gonna be challenged in this new class, which she likes and will feel much better about this year. I told her that things will still come up but she'll deal with them. I do believe that this teacher will be attentive to her and will work with her. I'm more positive today than I was before about her school. So, happy it occured...wish it had've happened earlier but I guess things happen as they should...
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Old 04-08-2004, 07:59 AM
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Leasmom, there is a lot to that. I firmly believe that kids NEED to be challenged. They will rise to the occasion. Just because a child has special needs doesn't mean that they can't handle a challenge. Just the opposite! They need that challenge to get them going. I really like that the principal at my Big Kids' school wants to emphasize that kids should be challenged and asked to go that extra mile.

And I've been through some of what you have....we took my DD out of the school she was in, during her Kindergarten year, because of teacher/principal issues and put her in another school. DS followed after the school year ended, on the advice of the principal of the new school (where they still are today). It was hard to move her mid-year, even harder to move him at the beginning of 5th grade, but we are totally convinced that it was the best thing for our children. 2 years later I still remember the agony of having to make that decision. It cost us friends and to some extent we are still "starting over."
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Old 04-08-2004, 10:50 AM
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Leasmom..

I strongly advise you to file for a 504 hearing. Make sure your child's IEP is being over-seen by an independent arbetrator outside this school district. It sounds like this teacher doesn't have the training that "No Child Left Behind" intends her to receive... and she needs to get it before she gets any other special needs child inder her influence.

Val
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Old 04-08-2004, 11:20 AM
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I'll see what I can do!!!

about that Lifestar!

Barbszy,

You did what you had too for your kids. Don't feel guilty! I moved here to Pueblo thinking that I was doing the best for dd academically because dd's old school did NOT want to provide services for her and did not want to shell out any money to help with her in anyway, but wanted to put her out of school because of her previously unstabled behavior, despite knowing she had a disability.

So, moving here, we ended up being in a more supportive school system-(they worked with us and had excellent meetings about how to deal with dd and even talked with her doctor), but the kids are horrible. Not only has she had problems in school with these rough kids who constantly teased and harrassed her-(mainly because we're not from here and dd has an accent), but outside of school with kids choking her, locking her out of the boys and girls club, to recently hitting her with a stick.

So, I ended up having put dd in a worst situation than I expected, but I am moving back and now know how the school SHOULD respond to her and am more willing to fight, but I'm hoping that dd won't blame me for having dropped her into this place and she doesn't...she just really, really wants to go back 'home'. So, that's all I can do is make the best decisions for her. They don't always come out the way we want, but it sounds like you're kids are adjusting pretty good. That's all you can do!!!
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