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  #11 (permalink)  
Old 07-29-2002, 10:26 AM
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Adoption

Hi.
We adopted a half brother and sister from the state of Iowa. They are now 16 and 19.

One of the big problems with adopting from the state is the lack of medical records. Get all the information you can. Another is background of abuse. The more information you can get the better you will be able to deal with their challenges. Get as many services as you can also. Join a special support group just for special needs adoptions. (That is what the state of Iowa calls sibling groups, older children.) Get as much training as you can from the agency handling the adoption. Training in what to expect for behaviors, ways to handle and correct the behavior.

If you would like to email me privately, please do so.

Good luck. You will be blessed. Jane
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  #12 (permalink)  
Old 07-30-2002, 07:04 PM
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The processes for state aided adoptions are varied from state to state. Here in Iowa, they paid for the attorney fee. Because we had adopted special needs children, they also provided a financial subsidy and also state insurance until they turn 18 years old. It was very nice to have the financial assistance so that I could stay home and work more intensely with their special needs one-on-one, and the insurance was nice when we had times in our life without insurance.
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Old 08-02-2002, 08:32 AM
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I am not exactly someone adopting or have adopted children, but I thought you might not mind another opinion. I gave a child up for adoption when I was 18 and not able to care for her. I fortunately was smart enough to realize someone else needed to take care of my daughter. I was able to choose the adoptive parents and hopefully I made the right choice. A lot of children in the system need someone loving and willing to allow them to be angry and mad and sad. I think that if you are willing to take a child into your heart and give them eveything physically and emotionally you are a God send to those children and I hope that you are able to give those children your heart and receive their heart in return. Good Luck and God Bless You!
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Old 08-02-2002, 03:13 PM
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Angie that you for sharing that! I am so thankful to my sister's birthmom. She also felt she was too young with no support. TV and media doesn't show good examples of moms making that very unselfish and loving choice for her child.
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Old 08-03-2002, 03:33 PM
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Adoption

mommawellman



Thank you for sharing. I, too, am a birthmom and wanted to let people know that there are all kinds of reasons that lead to adoption. My bd is 13 and my middle child. At the time of my pregnancy, I had no job, car or place to live and had just left an abusive relationship. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of her! I am fortunate that I have some contact with her and hope to some day be reunited with her as a full time member of our family(as well as her adopted family). I am finding that as she grows up that I will also be more like a friend to her than a "mom". Sometimes that bothers me but I know that she has a mom that loves her as much as I do. At this point, I just want to be able to have full contact with her and we'll go from there.





GOD BLESS ALL OF YOU WHO HAVE ADOPTED!
GOD BLESS ALL OF THE BIRTHPARENTS TOO!
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Old 08-03-2002, 07:01 PM
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dsh1225

Well, I had an open adoption as well, but have stopped corresponding with the adoptive parents...just because of life. I still have my current address on file with the adoption agency, so if she ever wanted to get ahold of me she could. But after all, I gave her to her adoptive parents to raise and to love as their own and just felt I needed to let them do it and I didn't want them to feel like I was watching over them. I don't know maybe just me. I would love to have contact with her someday, just so I can tell her I didnt abandon her, I gave her a chance.

I didn't mean to change the subject from state adoptions, which those parents have no choice in their children being taken away for their childrens own welfare. I just believe to be willing to take a child especially from a state agency where you know there is going to be emtionally challenged children who need so much love and attention and support...to even consider it...God has obviously given you that gift and I know you will be rewarded for your challenges that may lay ahead...

dsh1225...I would love to correspond with you privately if you would like to share...
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Old 08-04-2002, 01:56 PM
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Adoption

WE ADOPTED TWO CHILDREN WHEN THEY WERE JUST A FEW DAYS OLD. WE WERE VERY BLESSED TO HAVE RECIEVED THEM SO YOUNG. MY DAUGHTER CAME FIRST IN 1981 AND WE ADOPTED AGAIN IN 1983 AND RECEIVED OUR SON. THEY ARE THE GREATEST BLESSINGS IN OUR LIFE. WE ARE DEALING WITH ADHD WITH OUR SON, AND POSSIBLE MOOD DISORDERS. I WOULD HIGHLY RECOMMEND A THROUGH HEALTH AND MEDICAL RECORDS.
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Old 08-05-2002, 12:11 AM
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Thank you ALL for your opinions and feedback!! It was nice to read this thread and hear all the different sides.

I'll be back during the week to post a little bit more about our experience, right now it's veeerrrry late and I'm tired from filling out tons of paperowrk for adoption agency. LOL!!
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Old 08-12-2002, 07:18 AM
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adoption

My DH and I TTC'ed for many years and then finally decided to become foster parents to a 6-month-old boy who was seriously neglected and removed from his birth parents. Just before the termination hearing for their parental rights the social worker called and asked us if we wanted to adopt. The baby was 2-years-old by now and we said "yes". That started a 2-year adoption process. We are now the proud parents of a 10-year-old and we are thrilled the way it all turned out.
This is the first time I have ever posted, so I hope I'm doing it right!!
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Last edited by buputheclown; 08-12-2002 at 07:23 AM.
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Old 08-12-2002, 07:42 AM
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I'm a birthmom too!

Hi fellow birthmothers and adoption Moms and siblings.

I too am a birthmom who gave her son up, at the age of 15. No doubt I wasn't ready to raise the child. I loved him dearly and when I saw him in the foster home, right after birth, I knew it was the right decision for a good life for him. I love and miss him on a daily basis but never regret the choice I made.

Funny thing is that now that I just got married, just over a year ago, I had to have a hysterectomy and will have to adopt myself now. How ironic. I still don't regret the choice I made, but sure do question God about this whole deal.

Thank you to you loving families who take our children as your own. You are the heroes, not us. Without people like you, our children would have had a life much harder and different that it is now.

Also, I've added you two other birthmommies to my buddy list. I'm going to message you privately.

Thanks again folks and good luck to those of you trying to conceive or adopt.
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