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Go Back Forums > Parenting > Ages & Stages > Adolescence

Adolescence That fiery time prior to your child becoming a teenager. Their bodies are filled with hormones and turmoil. How are you coping?

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Old 09-17-2007, 06:54 PM
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When should adult children move out of home?

I was listening to a radio talk show about the age of children leaving home is getting later and later, like late 20's early 30's.
I guess some reasons would be marrying later in life, or life is just to easy and cheap at home to move out.

My question is what's your view, and did there come a time your parents said, ok you're 25(?) it's time to move out don't you think?

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Old 09-18-2007, 05:44 AM
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Kathy when I was younger I was allowed to live at home for free while attending university or in the summer months I was off. I was expected to help out around the home. I was told by my parents if I was not in school I could stay at home but would have to pay rent (low of course) and pitch in around the house with chores. Otherwise it was out on my own.

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Old 09-18-2007, 11:05 AM
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It is all according to the individual. If they know how to cook and manage their money the sooner the better for the parents. Living at home at least to twenty five is time enough for them to move on and start a life of their own. With rents getting higher most are not leaving even in their thirties. See more getting married in their late thirties and having children.
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Old 09-18-2007, 11:12 AM
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I think that as soon as the person has a job and can support his self that thay should move of corse that could be around 24 or so and like in my DGS case he needed help as he lost his wife has a child and hurt his back. He does help arownd the house and does help with the food, and as soon as he gets his SS he is geting his own place.
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Old 09-18-2007, 12:21 PM
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My oldest Ds is 23 and still living at home. He has a job, does his own laundry, helps out some around the house and pays some rent. He would like to move out, but would need a roommate to share expenses with. So far there isn't anyone to do that. He is not a problem at home. So as long as things continue as they are he can stay. I do encourage him to think about getting his own place just because I think it would be good for him.
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Old 09-18-2007, 01:52 PM
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When I finished school I still had a part time job, a full time job 6 mths later and no job 8mths after that for 3 mths then at just after 19yrso a full time job for just over 5 yrs.
In my time of no work and part time work I went to work with my mum who was a cook in a nursing home and I helped do her job and that was paying my board to her, along with the home cooking and cleaning washing etc but that is something I'd done since I was 13/14yro.
I lived at home till I was 21 but I only left cause I had a house and was getting married.
DH bro was 29 when he left home and his parents didn't mind but were very glad when he left, sold up the house and moved to a smaller one LOL.
I agree it depends on the living arrangements and how well the family gets on a whole. It's not always a good solution but is sometimes great for all involved.
One thing I could not do is go back to my mums with kids to live. Mum and I get on well enough but I'm realistic enought to also know that to much time together we argue LOL

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Old 09-18-2007, 08:58 PM
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Our ds is 24 ,he is working but not a high paying job.He has moved out a couple of time with friends to share rent but niether time work out for him.At this time though he is sticking around because of his dads health so he can help us out but hopes to get on his own once his dad is on his feet again.
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Old 09-21-2007, 04:13 PM
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I am a big believer that adult children should try to make it on their own after they are adults. I don't have a problem with parents helping their adult children. However, I think that when they do, it could stunt them in maturing. Each parent should be willing to allow his/her child to make mistakes so that each child learns to learn from his/her mistakes and know when to help that child financially. However, if that child isn't going to college or other special obligations, let the child learn from those experiances! That is just my opinion.

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Old 09-21-2007, 07:24 PM
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That's a good question. My ds (21 years old) just got married and is a grad student, so he is living in the university apartments. My dd (19) is also in college, so she lives in an apartment at school. However, I know that she is nervous about her future plans (grad school or getting a job) and we live in an area where the cost of housing is very high. Many of my friends have children who have finished college and have returned home to live -- even while they are employed. I guess that I wouldn't mind having my dd live with us for a while if she needed to save money for her own place (as long as she is working).
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Old 09-21-2007, 07:29 PM
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The kids move out?! I think most parents forgot to tell that to their kids. I see more and more staying with their parents now and know a lot here that are divorced and if they moved out move back in with their parents. I personally know of many homes with 3 or 4 generations living there. Must be a Southern thing.

This is not a new idea as when I was a kid and went visiting relatives most had at least 2 or 3 generations living there. Some (when the parents get old or only one parent survives) rather than plop them in a nursing home the kids take them in to live with them. Unfortunately I also saw this led to neglect for most elderly to some degree. With their own kids and busy lives the older parents got pushed to the side.

Look at the "Waltons". They all lived together.

I think with the coming hard times we are in for we will see more families living like "The Waltons".

I personally thought all my kids had moved out and my 2 youngest moved back home with spouses and 1 grandbaby. Supposedly because they hit hard times and also I am disabled. I can "do" for myself or at least I think I can but they think it is best financially for us all to live together until things get better. On TV ( we all watch too much of it) I heard in the next 10 years things will get worse. Not better. They mostly blame Iraq.

Most stuff I bought has now tripled in cost even groceries. I mean in price not personally because I had so many living here but my disability has not nor will it increase that much in the future. I do not believe I am the only one that has noticed this.

It would be ideal if we had homes big enough so each kid had his own room and as soon as they were able to make a living they move out to their own home. Each persons situation is different. My youngest had a scholarship called a "Life Scholarship" but he bombed on a test so they voided it. Now he has to save money to go to college if he cannot find another avenue. It broke my heart when he bought all his school supplies and went to the college on registration day only to be sent home in tears. They should have told him. He had told all his friends he was going then this happened so him and his "homeless" girlfriend moved back in with "mom". My daughter's husband lost his job and they could not make rent on just her income with a 4-year old so they also moved in. I only have 2 bedrooms but had to turn other rooms over to temporary bedrooms. At least I hope it is temporary.

I am also one of those unfortunates that had a house payment that went up. Now I pay close to $1000.00 a month and I only get $1200.00 so perhaps it all happened so I would not lose my home. They all buy a few groceries now but I still spend a lot. I make extra money with yard sales and sometimes on Ebay if I can find something I think will sell. They have taken over my utility bills but I still have the house, car and furniture payment. I just bought this house in 2003 and had no furniture. It is really tough. Hopefully we will all soon get our lives back together. I am praying for it but even with prayer I know it will be awhile.

Where was I....Oh yeah...I have seen a lot of men living back with their mothers after divorce even men as old as in their 50's. Some say the wife got it all in the divorce so back to mom. They may move out and some sooner than others but then they may move back in later. It happens more often than not. CC
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