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Old 09-02-2002, 11:49 AM
MelindaKiah's Avatar
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how to talk to daughter about menstruation

My daughter just turned 11 but I believe it won't be long before she starts her period. My mother never talked to me about this topic and I didn't know what to expect. I'm unsure how to approach this subject. Does anyone have any input or can tell me how they handled it? Thanks so much!

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Old 09-04-2002, 11:31 AM
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I'm not a parent, but I am on the ending years of the teenage side, maybe i can offer a few useful ideas....

Everyone is going to laugh later about the way their mother talks to them about this stuff. My mom who is somewhat of an artist drew me nice little pictures in her sketchbook, and was as frank as she could be.

With all the pictures now, its kind of neat to see video of the ovaries and etc, if she could handle that (i was very sqeemish at 11/12, that's partly why i got drawings), the very scientific, cut and dry is very informative.

Have you ever seen the Teen Species Series/thing on TLC. They have one on girls entering adolescence, you might find that and watch that with her. It discusses what a girls body goes through phsically and emotionally. They follow these girls around for a couple years, observing and interviewing them and doing tests to show whats happening. I'm 20 and saw it on Tv the other day and was amazed. You might even end up watching more of them - i did, there's one on boys entering adolscense and then a couple on the later teens years (one follows a teen pregnancy/sex, i don't know if that's something that you want to discuss with her at 11, but if not, avoid the older teen ones). I don't know if there are more, but these four were on in succession the other day.

There's some stuff that the show doesn't touch on, like cramps and how to use feminin products, but its really good for explaining why this happens.
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Old 09-07-2002, 08:33 PM
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Thankyou for the helpful info about the TLC channel, I will keep an eye out for something out there. I have a DD-age 10- but have been told she could start anytime, and I also have a ds-age12-so I'll watch for the male series on that channel. Thankyou so much. I also was never talked to about what to expect or anything. I guess they just expected the school to tell me (and they didn't). I tried to tell her some but it's hard to know what to say. So thank you again for your help.
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Old 09-07-2002, 10:18 PM
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Pinkie Winky


At the end of 5th grade my dd's elementary school shows the girls a video about what will happen to them. The boys are in another room seeing a boys video. The girls even got a book to take home that explained things too.

You could check the library for books on the subject too.

Here is a web site:

This site looks very informative.

The site downloads the info into Adobe Acrobat.
(You can get Adobe Acrobat for free on the site if you don't have it.)

You can print the info too.

I hope this helps,

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Old 09-07-2002, 11:30 PM
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I may be flamed for saying this, but call your local Planned Parenthood office. They have a TON of stuff on talking to your adolescent about her period and her sexuality. Also, your local bookstore will likely have some good sources.
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Old 09-08-2002, 02:38 AM
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I hate to say this but I started my period at 8. My mother was in such shock it was never really discussed except for the necessities of what I had to do to take care of myself. I eventually ended up going to a local bookstore and finding out the information for myself. I was a very independent little person.
I would like to advise one thing though and I intend on doing it with my daughter besides the books and the videos etc. I saw this on a movie and I thought it was so special and wished someone had done it to me when I started my period. When the event happens "Celebrate it". This mother had a special day with the dd when it happened (took her out of school for the day when it happened and everything) and went out to lunch and had their nails and hair done, did a little bit of shopping etc. you get the idea. During the excursion the mother explained that she was entering into womanhood she was starting to become a woman and how special and what a gift it was. The essence of the outing was to make the girl feel special and to perceive her period as a gift not as the dreaded "curse". The experience with the girl was used to explain everything and anything and well as the responsiblities of having a period meant in a loving and supportive way.
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Old 09-08-2002, 03:49 AM
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how to talk to daughter about menstruation

I think first of all it is important for her to know about it BEFORE she starts. (Chances are she already has heard about it from friends.) That could scare a kid to death if she didn't know what was going on. At any rate, I explained it as "the wonderful way that God prepares our bodies to become mothers". We, too, celebrated - dinner, I bought her a journal - she was pretty excited.
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Old 09-08-2002, 04:25 AM
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Children do seem to start earlier and earlier. The local women's hospital in my town has videos and booklets. No one told me before I started, and I was scared to death. There are a lot of books out there too, that you might share together. Call the school counselor and see if they have any videos they are willing to lend.
Please don't wait like my mother did. As someone else said, she may already know a little about it, but probably does not understand and has a million questions.
I still think the whole thing is "yucky" and I wish we could just do away with it.
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Old 09-08-2002, 06:43 AM
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My mother never talked to me either, but this is what
I used with my daughter...remember (my daughter is now 20)
this is your first important step to having an open relationship
with your daughter about her sexuality)
I took her out for a mother/daughter day and then went for
a walk explaining to her our bodies, etc. and what would be
happening in the future. I assured her that every woman goes
through this and it is natural. You will be surprised, if you are
comfortable how comfortable she will be. Then we went to the store and bought a few of the items needed for the future event.
Also I let her pick out some perfume, body spray etc. The stores
now have a wonderful selection for teens etc. in the way of body perfumes and soaps. We bought several things (including the things needed for her upcoming period) so that it wouldn't look like we were just in there for that. Her reaction was, boy there is so much of a selection everyone must be having periods! Again
I assured her that every woman was. It was also a good time to look at bras and show her what a wide selection there was to choose from To this day we are very close and open and this day and age you need to be. Set a loving foundation, she will always
remember how much you cared.
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Old 09-08-2002, 08:07 AM
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My daughter is 11 also and we have been taking every opportunity in the last year to discuss the event. I, too, learned from school and was not prepared when it did occur for the first time at school in 6th grade. My daughter is very self conscious but when I get an opening in the conversation, I take it. Sometimes we are talking about something totally different when I try to segue into her thoughts and feelings about growing up. I find that since she isn't asking questions, I have to find ways to open up the communication between us. Sometimes listening is the best way when it comes to my daughter. I open up and then wait for her to process it, giving her a chance to ask me a question. We have shopped for the products and have bought a variety for her to try. I will also do a celebration sort of thing when it does happen. We are currently doing things to help her feel good about being a girl. She recently got her first manicure. We have a beauty school by us and it's only $5 and it definitely makes her feel special. It's also part of her allowance for helping around the house. I think it's important for mother's and daughter's to spend this time together. I also have to worry that she will have the extreme cramps that I had. I want her to know that I will get her to the doctor to get any medication she may need. Good luck whatever you decide.
Live, Love and Laugh!
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