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  #11 (permalink)  
Old 09-08-2002, 08:38 AM
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~Melinda~

Go now to www.kotex.com.

This is an amazing web site. Go to the "Info" link and just look over the "girl stuff" link. If you are comfortable with how they present the info...then call your daughter over to the screen and go through it with her.

If you don't want to do it that way, then at least use this site as a guide for yourself. It is invaluable.

(And I don't even work for the company! LOL:p ) I just think it's one of the best and most user friendly sites on the web for this sort of thing.

Let me know what you think.

Val
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Old 09-08-2002, 09:41 AM
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A great book that I highly recommend is "Almost Twelve" by Kenneth N. Taylor. It is about 60 pages long and a great starting point for your daughter. I read this book and then I gave this book to our daughter and then we discussed it.
Hope this is a help!
Gloria
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Old 09-08-2002, 11:06 AM
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The schools here in Florida do a program also, but it is co-ed. At first, I wasn't crazy about that idea, I figured kids would be wary to bring up personal concerns around the opposite sex, such as worrying that their breast were different sizes, that kind of thing. But my nephew and kids assured me that it didn't stop them, and it turned out fine. They had a field trip to a large hospital wheren they saw both the girls video and the boys.

When my daughter was in Girl Scouts, we did a badge about puberty, I think it was called, "Becoming a Teen. One of the moms, a nurse, came in and spoke and that was terrific. IOt's a Juniors badge, so our girls were in 4th and 5th grade. Of course, we had to get parent'sd approval. Well, the parents loved it, too.

I think it's important to do this well before she starts her period. Did you ever see the movie "Carrie"? The poor girl was 17 before her's started and she had no idea why she was bleeding in the gyum dressing room, she freaked out and the other girls teased her horribly.

When I was about 10, I wanted to get my ears pierced, and my mother made me wait till I got my first period. It was a rites-of-passage kind of thing, an entry into womanhood. I had to wait till I was 12, which I hated, but it made some kind of sense to me, and I did the same with my daughter. She started earlier though, so she got hers done at 9.

Rani
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Old 09-08-2002, 02:31 PM
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Just be honest

My daughter is almost 10 now. I opted to talk to her about "female stuff" and some "sex" stuff about a year ago. I just started with a book that showed what her body looked like and how it goes through physical changes and then a little about hormones and how it changes things (like breasts and menstruation). Then we looked at what boys looked like (drawings in the same book). I touched lightly about sex, but did explain "what fit/where" and how babies were conceived. I just wanted her not to be embarrassed to talk to me, most importantly and not to be afraid to ask questions. And will talk to her more after she starts her period. I told her what to expect when her period started and what to do if I'm not there.

I tried not to act like it was a dirty, shameful, sinful thing! (like my mom did)

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Old 09-08-2002, 09:53 PM
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infor

Hi
I have a special needs child so I was alittle dreading the talk my mom never told me anything I saw the film at school the next day I became a woman...Then I had to tell my sister when she started she didnt know about anything either...But I vowed I would do my best for my daughter. I found a kit thru ALWAYS and its called "Just us Girls a mother and daughter guide to growing up" it came with a booklet and samples.
You might wanted to search their sight www.teenalways.com or call 1 800 888 3115 this came off the booklet (one is called Girl talk the other booklet A mother's guide) I hope this helps
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Old 09-08-2002, 11:12 PM
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Lightbulb

I found a book for my 10 year old daughter at the library. I read it before I read it to her. Once I approved of it, she and I read it together. I wanted to be there to answer any of her questions. It was such a good book that I bought it for her as soon as I could. It's from American Girl and I think it's called "The Care and Keeping of Me". It is a wonderful book. It explains everything about what changes are going to go on, how the change is going to affect her. It talks about menstration, pimples, pads, shaving, oral hygiene, body odor, breasts and the development process, how to pick a bra, how to measure your self to get the correct size bra. You name it, it's there. I highly recommend this book to any one with young girls. She's had the book for over six months and she still refers to it if she needs to.
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Old 09-10-2002, 07:20 AM
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Talking About Periods

Hi. I remember my mother telling me about it, but not much. I remember the Kotex book. I would suggest that you purchase a book, read it first, and then give it to your daughter, ask her to read it, and ask if there are any questions. The most important thing is to be postive about it. We all know how everyone complains about their periods, some have it worse than others. I have a son and when he was about 10, he started asking lots and lots of questions about reproduction, etc. So, I got on the web and purchased two books that actually were geared toward lower ages. But, he did learn from them. Actually, one of them was quite shocking with mentioning how people, er, do things in different postitions, etc. I'm sure that you two will do fine with this. Best of luck.
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Old 09-12-2002, 05:19 PM
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Lightbulb I am woman--hear me...

A couple gals really had the right idea here. It all comes down to perception. Yeah, a lot of us think periods are a pain in the neck, and hate it, etc. If you really think about it, it is a rejection of our femininity. It's a dislike of our natural female processes. Do we really want to pass on this 'legacy' to our young?

I was about 13.5 when I started, and while I was excited to finally catch up to the other girls, I was horribly embarrassed too. When I went to visit my father in the summer, it was only my 2nd period. I was so worried he'd see the wrapped pads in the trash that I kept them all in a secret compartment of my suitcase. Ew, I know, but I was that mortified about him knowing.

And yes, it's all about how the mom feels about it when she's talking (or avoiding talking!!) to her girl(s) about it. If you're embarrassed, think it's gross, etc., so will she. In fact, she might pretend she doesn't want to hear about it, or even try to act 'cool', like she's not interested, but secretly she is relieved to be getting the information. Whether or not she 'wants' to hear it, she really needs to. You didn't expect her to know how to use the potty when she was a toddler before you taught her; it's the same with managing your period.

I was enlightened one time when a friend and I were discussing labor. I was terrified of the whole ordeal, and she went on and on about how beautiful it was. I said, "But it's so painful!" She was taken aback. "No, it doesn't hurt at all! It's a beautiful experience. I LOVE having babies!" At the time, I thought she was an alien or something. ;-) But then I got to thinking, and wondered how true the mind-body connection is. I mean...if SHE can have such a good experience with it, I can too. I just needed to figure out her secret, and her secret was how she perceived the whole experience. For her, it was a welcomed beautiful thing, and so that's what happened!

It's the same with cramps: they are the body's reflection of the mind's view on having periods. If we could relax and honor our bodies instead of hating them, maybe we could get past the idea of womanhood having to be a painful experience. I find that most times, if I force myself to relax and let go of those tense muscles down there, that the cramps will dissipate. If I really take the time to notice the cramps and my feelings, I can do something positive about them. It's only when "it's a nuisance", and I can't make any time for mySelf that I have bad cramps and end up taking pills. In fact, since I've taken this view, I've had far fewer cramps than I did when I was an embarrassed teenager.

In all honesty, I have to work at it. On the occasions I start having cramps, I try to remind myself that having a period is a beautiful experience--it is part of the joy of being woman. Sometimes I'm less convinced than other times. ;-) It takes practice. But the more I practice, the more I love myself, and the less pain I experience. I haven't bought cramp meds in about 3+ years, and that's saying something when you consider I'd stay home from school with cramps as a teenager.

I hope you will decide to approach your daughter with the feelings that this is a wonderful thing, and help to reset the legacy for future generations of women. Best of luck.
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Old 09-13-2002, 03:03 AM
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The time has come

My 11 year old started her period this week. I was amazed at the way she actually listened to me when I talked to her about it. I felt like she was really hearing me and wanting the knowledge unlike when we would talk about it previously. She did have cramps but they weren't as bad as I thought they would be. She didn't ask to stay home from school. I gave her something for them and off she went. I came home from work and brought her 2 gift bags. One was full of girlie things to help her take care of herself, body spray, feminine wash, etc. The other was a nice bathrobe to use after her showers. We went out to dinner, just the two of us and talked about the process of growing up. It was a great day and she thanked me before bed. We have continued to talk about how things are going during her menstruation. She is handling it well and I do see a new maturity in her that I hadn't seen until now.



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Old 09-14-2002, 09:47 AM
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My mom was open with me about discussing sex from a very young age. When I was in kindergarten, I knew where babies came from, and shortly afterward I knew about menstruation. I was so young, I don't remember how she told me, other than I was in the bathroom with her while she changed pads. It was just normal for me, and I have never been embarrassed about talking sex.

There is a wonderful show in Canada called the Sunday Night Sex Show, a call-in program with a nurse, Sue Johanssen. Watch her show on W Network if you are in Canada, otherwise there is a book list on the web site at:
http://www.wnetwork.com/shows/classi..._resources.asp

She only chooses top-notch books for her list, and there is a Teens category.

I also recently saw a "Growing Up" package in the drug store. I think it was by Always or Tampax or something, and included a couple of tampons, a couple of pads, and a booklet about menstruation. I thought it was a great idea, as it was put together as a "Welcome to womanhood" type of celebratory gift.

Hope this helps!
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