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Old 11-04-2009, 02:14 AM
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leasmom leasmom is offline
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I am Biracial, just like your son is biracial and I have a daughter who is 3/4 white. I grew up in Detroit like bskbug2 but my experiences were different. I was the only mixed child in my schools and neighborhoods and I got picked on forever. I even had teachers that were confused about my identity. I've had black people that wouldn't speak to me because of my hair/skin color/ eyes and I've had white people who wouldn't speak to me because they percieve me as black only.

First off, you need to recognize that your child isn't black, he is mixed. A black child and your child will have two different experiences in life. A black child will look at his family and see that they look like him. Your Mixed child will look at your family and see that you look differently than he does. He will live his life between the white and black worlds, which may not be kind to him. Don't expect the black side to accept him, thinking that they will is not true. Racism exists on both sides. What you need to do is to establish a healthy biracial identity for your child. You need to let him know that he is half of you, half of your culture. He isn't different or seperate. Then you need to be flat out with him and not sugar-coat the world. My mother did that to me and it didn't help me. You need to explain to him that they are ignorant people on BOTH sides that may not accept him because of his skin color but thats okay, he needs to find people who accept him for whom he is.

I used to write for the Multiracial Activist website and I wrote an article called, "Raising Mixed Kids to Face the World", which is still floating out there. And one advice I gave was to expose your mixed child to both of his cultures and to children that look like him, mixed children. If your child is the only mixed child in the area, you need to find other mixed children. Finding black children and sticking him with black children only won't help him. He needs to see Mixed kids that have a white mommy like him! And if you absolutely don't find anyone, you either need to move to a more accepting area or you need to get involved online. There are alot of mixed family websites.

We moved from Michigan to Tennessee and were fortunate to find that the city we moved in had several multi-biracial families like ours. Multi-Biracial-(meaning a mixed parent and a white parent that had quadroon children). But when we moved to Colorado, and back to Michigan we were like the only ones. We even had neighbors who were half white and Native American that harrassed us racially. So now we're back to Tennessee and haven't had very many racial problems at all. My daughter goest to school with white, black, mixed and even quadroon kids just like her. That helps that she doesn't feel singled out.

But that is what you're going to have to do. As much as I understand my daughters racial situations being mixed myself, I can't understand it fully because I don't look completely white and she does. The same goes for you, you will not understand his racial situations completely either but if you expose him to his other side, and expose him to kids that look like him, and give him a good foundation in his identity, he'll be fine. I would suggest though that maybe you think about the area in which you live because despite all that, if he constantly runs into people that treat him that way, that will weigh him down and he may end up with depression. There are alot of mixed kids who end up in the therapist office when what they really need is to be around someone like themselves. If I would've had that it wouldn't helped me a great deal! So think about that seriously!!! Hope this helps!!!

Last edited by leasmom; 11-04-2009 at 03:01 AM.
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