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Old 03-21-2008, 07:20 PM
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bar_bar bar_bar is offline
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I would strongly suggest you tell her now before she is a teen.
Long ago I dated a guy that learned the dad that brought him up was not his dad. it almost destroyed him and it did destroy what we had together. For he left to go find his dad, when he came back it was to late for him and I to get back together.
He was in 20's...
He always said if he was told as a younger person he could handle it better.

My youngest gd doesn't know her dad, and she desperate want a daddy...
your little girl will know that this person that she knows as daddy loves her, it will also help her to understand why her name is different.

right now to her with having a different last name could do more harm in not allowing her to know why it different. She could even be thinking without knowing it " do they love me if so why is my name different" What goes on in a child little mind that they never express can be deep roated. I've been there with my 2 granddaughters who are now 9, and 8.

Telling her is the best thing, and then allow her to know this daddy loves her just like his own...
Not sure how your laws are on changing names without the real dad's approval but here a DND has to take place and things. It not that easy..

I grew up with a step dad that I knew loved me more than my real dad.. to me my step daddy was my daddy.. my husband took my kids on at the ages of 4 and 8, they know that their step dad loves them just like his own.. and they have a close bond to him.

Remember anyone can be a parent but it takes someone special to me mom or dad.

wishing you the best in this situation sweety.
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