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Old 02-10-2003, 06:31 AM
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losflores losflores is offline
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Join Date: May 2002
Location: Houston, Texas area
Posts: 36
I agree...Never Give Up on him!!! My eldest son...actually he is my Step-son, but we got rid of those nicknames al long time ago in this family, but it took alot of time to merge our kids into on "group".
Anyway, he got into trouble and was very into doing "Anything" to push all our buttons...drinking, pot...skipping school, fighting, and the best thing we ever did was to have meetings...family meetings were held every week and we did some one on one time with each of them too. And NO, they did not like it at first, but we ARE the parents and we put out foot down really hard.
All his acting out eventually started to ease up and in time stopped all together, because he was allowed to say anything he wanted and he knew that WE as a family could find a solution. Anger about his parents divorce, Our marriage, peer pressue and being unsure about his "status" in this family all contributed to his acting out and his rage...yes, I said rage! He would actually get violent at times...but when he realized what was happening in his life and that we would love him no matter what his short commings were things got a little easier and he would talk more freely with us and his other sibblings.
Talk to your hubby and see how he feels about your involvement! Mine thought it was Great and was relieved to know that he didn't have to handle this by himself. Just be sure to approach your son a little at a time and see if you can get him to open up to you...and believe me, I am a big advocate of Family Meetings... but remember the rules...in the family meeting anything can be said, so don't get your feelings hurt and act out yourself, because that is not going to help...and no judging!!!!! What you son has to say to you and your hubby might be out of anger at first and no matter What it is...they are HIS feelings and they need to be respected!!!
In time things will get easier and things will change...love is the greatest healer!
Love...Faith...Peace
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Michele
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