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Old 02-08-2003, 02:52 PM
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VKJ51 VKJ51 is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: MINNESOTA
Posts: 26
Get your husband to step up more, but do NOT give up trying to get custody/help this child. If you have to get your county/state Child Protection Service involved, do so. Don't worry about what his mother is going to feel/do/say. If he is her priority, she will want what's best for him, regardless of who arranges it. If not, her feelings have to take a back seat. The essential thing is to let this boy know that he is of utmost importance to at least some of the adults in his life and that they will fight for and protect him when he makes bad choices. I work with children who have been identified as having emotional/behavioral disorders. Many, many times just having one adult there for them, come what may, decides whether or not they make progress. Also, do not forget his sibling. He/she may be having as many problems that just aren't as evident. Often a sibling will try to swallow their feelings and become the "perfect child" to avoid causing more problems and pain. That sibling needs just as much help and positive attention.

You are right to be concerned about the children already in your household. You have to make sure that you have safeguards and strict guidelines in place and that both you and your husband are dedicated to consistently (the magic word!) enforcing them. If you don't, the arrangement will be sure to fail. Please call whatever resources you have in your city/county/state for help. They will give you experienced and objective advice/support that will be invaluable.

God bless you for you love and caring. There are too many children that go without.
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