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Old 08-19-2007, 10:13 AM
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DeBora4BobbyL DeBora4BobbyL is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kimmip96
you guys are awesome..thanks for replying to me so fast...i was thinking that relative to her stress level, yes she has a pretty high stress level. I am a mother of three, 10,6 and 11 mos. My husband is a police officer..need i say more. We have alot of stress directly correlated to his stress levels and his shift work.
I noticed last nite that after I allowed her to come out of her room..after HOURS of putting her back to bed and revisiting the screaming and yelling...she told me the voices arent there when she is with someone and they never tell her to do things, I tried to explain to her that everyone has a conscience that speaks, but it wasnt working at one in the morning.
Both of my eldest kids have been showing me signs of their heavy burdens and I have just been so burned out. I am finishing my masters, running this house, working and have the police "single mom" syndrome. I really appreciate yous lending an ear, my mind starts to work overtime and think the worst sometimes. Not to mention the fact that I am sans support system here where I live.
Kimmip
Bless your heart. I didn't know that your DH was a cop. What type of police officer is he? (Vice, traffic, etc...) I know that is one of the MOST demanding and stressful careers out there with a high rate of suicide and divorce. Do you think that you working on your Master's could also be a contributing factor to the children's stress levels? I know that I go to school full-time and it is extremely stressful. I know people who have children who go to school and I don't know how they do it. What are you getting your Master's in?

Something that I used to do with my children that they still find to be a comfort, and I wonder if "comfort" is something that your kids need? Anyway, I would set aside 1 day a week or every 2 weeks, depending on the age and the need, to do something special. This was mommy/son or mommy/daughter time. The other members of the family were not invited. When the kids got older, and I would forget, my kids made sure that they reminded me that I hadn't made that special time with them. We had family time and we had parent/child time. I wanted my children to know that they were special as family members as well as individuals.

Also, I am a person who has suffered from severe insomnia. I believe it stems from childhood. Here are some things that I believe that will help your DD. Never do anything stressful in her room such as homework, punishment, etc... I think that if you allow her to have time-out in her room as you might do with a normal child, it might reinforce her fears that bedtime and the bedroom is a bad or scary place. What about allowing her to have a mother/daughter slumber party in her room? This may sound silly, and maybe it is, but you could invite her voices to join in the fun. Bring some sandwiches, cookies, and other goodies. You could plan some fun activities that would start out being energetic and end up relaxing to help your DD relax and sleep. You could each other foot massages, paint toenails, and etc... That would be some relaxing activities that might help her relax enough to go to sleep and yet be fun.

If her voices only come when she is alone, what about having her go pick out a stuffed animal or doll to sleep with her?

I sure hope you get things worked out soon. I am sure you are about to lose your ever loving mind. Also, don't forget about the other children who aren't having as severe a problem. I have a DS who has Tourette's Syndrome and I would find myself spending a lot of attention on his problems at the expense of my DD, whom I would forget. I had to remember to balance the attention of both kids and not just the one who was having problems. Good luck!
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