View Single Post
  #4 (permalink)  
Old 02-13-2006, 05:23 AM
Sammi1961's Avatar
Sammi1961 Sammi1961 is offline
Assistant Moderator
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Maine
Posts: 11,579
Becoming a step-parent is tough. The best thing you and your soon-to-be dh can do is to present a united front. Perhaps the two of you could sit down and talk about what you will expect the two children to be responsible for and what the consequences will be if they do not follow through. They are certainly old enough to handle a few chores such as picking up after themselves (putting away their dirty dishes, laundry, toys etc.) But the biggest thing is that he has to be the one to handle discipline. They are his children. Despite the fact that the two of you will be married and become a family, they already have a mother. They can learn to love you and they should respect you, but their father is the one who will have to be in charge of discipline. Remember, he chose you, they did not but must live with his choice. You do not want them resenting you. One idea, as well, is to talk with them and ask them what they think would make it easier for them to remember to take care of their bedding and belongings. Giving them some say in how things are done might give them more incentive. Ask them if they want big bins or a separate hamper or new toy bin or whatever. Giving them some say will also make it feel more like their home even if it is only part time. I hope things work out for all of you. Just remember, you and your fiance need to present a united front. He needs to step up to the plate. Let him know he can be a parent and enforce rules and his kids will still love him.
Reply With Quote