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Old 12-16-2005, 11:48 AM
kbd_11 kbd_11 is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 3
Dealing with an older soon to be step-daughter

I'm new to this website/forum, so bare with me! I am 24 years old. I met and fell in love with a 40 year old male. Recently I was engaged and will be married April 28th. The man I'm going to marry has 3 kids from a former marriage. Their ages are 9,10, and 18. The oldest, is a female. Yes I know...this is probably the craziest thing to put myself in but I love the man. I have a great great great relationship with the two younger children but have been struggling with the oldest. I knew that our relationship wouldn't be so easy. Recently my fiance was asked by his ex-wife to come over and help put up the "kids" Christmas tree at her house. He told her absolutely not. She started to cry and then hung up the phone. He then called his daughter to find out if she and her boyfriend could help. THe oldest daughter INSTANTLY accused me of being the big bad evil one when in all honestly, I was clueless as to what he was asked to do until after the two conversations (between his ex and his daughter). Now I am hurt, upset, and disappointed that our "relationship" is going NOWHERE. I am not an evil person and I don't know what to do. I asked the daughter to be a part of the wedding as a bridesmaid and she accepted. Why accept an honor when you feel like the person marrying your father is such a bad person? Does anyone have any advice as to how to take this? Should I flat out ask her if she wants to be apart of our special day, ask her why she thinks I'm this person she has thought of, or leave it to her father to talk with her? I'm feel I'm at a loss.
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