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Rose, every kid is different and every parent is different.
It is so hard when the child is not your own and you are in the position when the child needs to be disciplined.
I have no qualms about disciplining my sister's children (or my neighbor's, as we are close) and they do the same. I find though, that our styles are very similar.
DH has disciplined one of his brother's kids and THAT did not go over well because they don't do things the way we do.
My youngest son was just 2 when we took him off the bottle. But he only got one at bedtime and he had to be in someone's lap to have it. My other 2 were done with it by 18 months.
As far as the pinching goes, it IS appropriate to hold the child's hands tightly without hurting the child and looking at them sternly & firmly saying "We don't pinch." I am sure you were taken by surprise and just reacted by instinct! I know that my big kids will take their little brother's hands and say "Not nice! No hitting!" and I think that's a good way to handle it with any child you come in contact with.
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