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Old 06-16-2014, 01:08 AM
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ellenmelon ellenmelon is offline
Nine Year Member
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 10,509
Bernice, sorry to hear of your troubles and I wish dh the best result with his treatments.

Also agreeing with Roberta here. The priority is yourself and dh. If you get truly behind on a bill, call the company and have them put a note in the file about why, re-cancr, and that will help for everyone gets touched by this and most struggle too like you said.

At one point I had to ask friends and family not to call because it was always during dinner hour and it was the only time we had as a family from the normally hectic pace of life.

My lists were regional. The errands were divided into north of town, west, south, east, and town center. oh yes, and home based lists, tomorrow, later this week, and this month.

Talking with someone professional helped me share and unload my feelings and thoughts so I was able to concentrate on the daily mundane. Each week I could visit the 'talk office' and when I left after that hour, I could 'leave' my troubles behind, and go forward with the things of life that take so much time. It was a way of giving boundaries to the concerning thoughts, telling those thoughts to take their turn.

Also, address with your dh the what if's so you can settle your mind about those things. What if he dies from this...ask him about remarriage or retirements or funeral preferences etc. Opening up discussion to the what if's gives fear a face and becomes less threatening.
Ellen in PA

"God has not given us a spirit of fear; but of love, power, and a sound mind."

Last edited by ellenmelon; 06-16-2014 at 01:13 AM.
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