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Old 01-02-2013, 05:38 AM
Kwiltnwriter Kwiltnwriter is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2011
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Uncaring kids?

Tomorrow is my birthday and my husband has informed me that the kids have planned absolutely nothing for me. This makes two years in a row now. My son is 14 (Aspergers- high functioning autism), and my daughter is 11. Last year my daughter slapped a hastily made card in my hand and dumped one of our cats in my lap and said Happy Birthday only after being reminded.

It not that it wasn't mentioned, it's not that my husband hasn't prompted them (though neither of us feel they need to be taken by the hand to do something for us- they are old enough to come up with their own ideas and we are always there to take them shopping for the other parent), and I even made suggestions for what they could do since money was an issue. They just don't give a rat's butt about it.

My daughter is usually very thoughtful and does well for us at Christmas- she just doesn't make any efforts for birthdays. My son gave us a bag each of orange gummy slices for Christmas, and didn't even wrap them. Yet for someone he considers important, he's a very thoughtful kid. But he didn't do anything for anyone at Christmas this year. Not even the Grandmoms.

Just wondering how I should deal with this. I made sure this year for Christmas and their birthdays that they got something they really wanted and would appreciate (though they know funds are tight, they both cried when they got their Christmas gifts this year), but it's like we don't exist when our birthdays come around. Even if we got something that they made it wouldn't matter to us- as long as they actually put some real caring effort into it- not just dumping a cat on my lap.

Part of me wants to treat them the same way (at least for this year) just to see what happens and how they react. I can see one year of forgetting, but two in a row? That to me shows that they don't care- and that hurts.

any ideas? I told them last year how hurt I was, but it didn't sink in.
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