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How Many Frogs
Do You Have To Kiss?
So you licked all the wounds from the
divorce, gotten used to the idea of being a Single Mom, so what's next? For
some of us, the very idea of a man in our life continues to be repulsive
for years to come. I'm one of the hopeful romantics, however, and that just
meant one thing - dating.
Armed with the encouragement of friends and family, a new hairstyle, and
35 fewer pounds, I made the decision that I was ready to date. A momentous
decision, fraught with much discussion regarding my emotional and mental
readiness. Once the decision was made, however, I was pleased. So...
I waited.
Eventually, it occurred to me that Mr. Right must not know my street address
or phone number, because he wasn't appearing on my doorstep as planned (with
trust fund and Mercedes in tow). It had been 16 years since I'd dated - just
how was this done?
I was no longer in school, disco was dead, I work among family, and I had
already decided I was the only single mother in the small town in which I
live. So, I turned to the medium that became my lifeline after my divorce
- the internet.
Guess where dating now occurs? There
are personal ads, chatrooms, and dating services for every age, race, sexual
orientation, and lifestyle. You can virtually special-order Mr. Right from
an endless spectrum of preferences. Personal ads are generally free of charge,
and can be found just about anywhere. There are also paying services that
offer specific matching of characteristics to produce the highest probability
of relationship. The advantages of the paying services, I found, is the lack
of perverts. Perverts apparently have better things to do with their money.
Naïve romantic that I am, I dove right in.
Months later, the naïve romantic is now a cautious skeptic. I've learned
more about the frailties of human nature than one woman should be exposed
to in a lifetime. For example:
(1) Many men consider themselves much better looking than they actually
are.
(2) A man who weighs approximately 400 lbs has no qualms requesting his mate
be petite and slim (which made me ponder whether he wanted a dinner companion,
or dinner itself).
(3) Most divorced men have a death wish in the form of skydiving, bungee-jumping,
rock-climbing, motorcycling, and hang-gliding (or anything else the ex-wife
told them they were stupid for wanting to do.)
Fortunately, I have a sense of humor
and a resilient nature. I've met some really nice men (yes, there are some),
and have made some mistakes myself. The process has shown me aspects of myself
of which I was unaware - both positive and negative. I'm having fun, though,
and I think I might just survive dating in the new millenium.
Excuse me, I've got a frog to kiss.
About the Author
Mitzi Bryant is an accountant and freelance writer, when not being Single Mom to her three children: Will, Kate, and Anna. She writes poetry, parenting humor, and articles on the trials and joys of being a single parent. Mitzi and her little family live, love, work, and play in Alabama.
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The Lunch-Box Chronicles : Notes from the Parenting Underground
"Take Erma Bombeck, add the obsessions of a single mother with two boys under the age of 10, lace with a mild streak of wildness, and you have Marion Winik, as companionable a writer as a crazed parent ever found." So says the New York Times Book Review about this hilarious look at child rearing from NPR commentator Marion Winik. With the candidness of Anne Lamott's Operating Instructions, Winik never shies from sharing her "Bad Mommy" moments, for as every parent knows (and as is evidenced by her extensive instructions on conquering a mean case of head lice), the reality of parenting is not all cherubic kids sporting footie pajamas. As with her other compelling memoirs, Telling and First Comes Love, Winik lets it all hang out--sharing with readers not only the trials and joys of raising kids alone, but also debating in frank, funny terms the varied questions of being nude in front of your children, dealing with a "blended" family, and teaching kids about avoiding drugs when you've used them yourself. Parents (and anyone who has parents of their own) will appreciate the poignancy, honesty, and familiarity of this laugh-out-loud tribute to the enterprise of raising children. --Brangien Davis
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