We've all had those moments when you get sent on a business trip during the week of your daughter's dance recital or a night out with some friends causes you to miss your son's first steps. The guilt hits you like a brick.
Guilt is a great waste of emotional energy. It causes us to become immobilized in the present because we are dwelling on the past. Guilt can be very debilitating. It often brings productive thoughts and actions to a standstill. Introducing logic helps counter-balance guilt and helps us stay on course. A key point about guilt is that it is a condition and not a feeling. Using guilt as a feeling masks deeper emotions and the identity of a problem.
Here are 10 guilt busters from Work/Life Balance Coach Natalie Gahrmann:
1. Live in the Here and Now
Make the present perfect. Do not expend your energy dwelling on what you should've, could've, might've done in the past. The present is a gift; enjoy it!
2. Say 'No' More Often
Establish a list of what's absolutely important to you. Do very few things you resent or strongly prefer not to do. Refer to this list as a reminder of your priorities.
3. Realize You Can't Do It All
If you try to live up to the Super Mom ideal, you'll end up exhausted. So, delegate more often. Stop trying to be everything to everybody. Avoid the perfectionism attitude.
4. Put Things in Perspective
Determine whose standards you're trying to live up to.
5. Be Secure with What's Important to You
Taking action is almost always a better choice than doing nothing. Be aligned with "who" you are and base your decisions on that.
6. Take Good Care of Yourself
Do at least one thing each day just because you want to or feel like it. If necessary, write yourself a permission slip that permits you to do something special just for you.
7. Identify the Real Problem
Take a close look at why you feel guilty and work toward resolving the problem vs. a symptom.
8. Learn to Let Go
Stop beating yourself up about something that happened in the past. Once it's over let it be over and don't keep reliving it and stressing/worrying about how it could've been different.
9. Set Yourself Up for Success
Rather than establishing many far-reaching goals, set small attainable goals that lead to a larger 'stretch' goal. Celebrate your accomplishments along the way. Try, also, to take just one project at a time to avoid feeling overwhelmed and guilty because you messed up on something.
10. Lighten Up! Have Fun!
Stop taking yourself (and others) so seriously. Learn to laugh at yourself more freely. Smile more often. Find joy in simple activities.
Are you a working mom? talk to others in the same boat as you in our Working Parent forum!
About the Author
Natalie Gahrmann is a success coach and owner of N-R-G Coaching Associates, a private coaching company that specializes in helping working parents achieve mastery of work and life. She is a work/life balance expert for BlueSuitMom.com. Natalie can be reached at natalie@nrgcoaching.com.
Father's Day!
Father's Day is coming soon. Celebrate dad this year with crafts, recipes and plenty of other ideas. Here are a few examples to get you started...
Did you know that FamilyCorner has its own photo gallery? Did you know that YOU can upload your own photos to it? That's right, and it's completely free!
Here are some of the fun benefits of sharing your photos in our FC Gallery:
Send your own photos as an e-card
Watch slide shows
See beautiful sunsets and other great scenic shots
Brag about and share pictures of your loving pets
Share photos of your children and grandchildren
Create your own individual album and post in category albums
Keep your favorite pictures organized online
Rate images of other members
...more!
Join us in the FC Photo Gallery. It's completely free to use, just another fabulous reason to be a FamilyCorner subscriber.
Family Matters Radio
Hosted by Caroline & Jacquie. Choose a segment below to begin listening!
Secrets of Happily Married Women Do you feel like you are constantly on overdrive? Juggling career and family, attending to everyone's needs but your own, and all the while struggling to maintain a sense of balance and harmony in your marriage? You can actually start getting more out of your relationship by doing less and we'll tell you how with Dr. Scott Haltzman, author of Secrets of Happily Married Women. Hear part 2
When Mars and Venus Collide It's a common scenario: a husband returns home from work stressed out and eager to kick back on the couch and watch TV. A wife returns home from work stressed out and wants to talk about it with her husband. What happens? Neither is on the same page, anger and resentment set in. We're going to find out how stress is impacting marriages today and what you can do about it when we talk with bestselling author John Gray Hear part 2