It’s mealtime and for many parents and kids, it’s tug-of-war time as well. But according to specialists, toddlers who display picky eating habits are better off not being forced to eat. Doing so is counterproductive and may cause aversion to food that could eventually lead to nutritional deficiencies.

Recent emphasis on good health has increased public concern about nutrition. Naturally, well-meaning parents want the best for their children. Often, though, they end up being frustrated when toddlers insist on having their way by demonstrating finicky eating behavior such as picking at their food.

This is when the battle begins as the test of each other’s will comes to the fore.

Force feeding fallacies

To resolve the issue, many adults turn to forced feeding which experts do not recommend. Instead, they suggest that parents understand how developmental changes in their kids influence such behavior.

Social changes. During the second year of life, a toddler’s sense of autonomy grows. This is a period of negativism, called the Terrible Two’s, when temper tantrums are at their peak, especially before meals. Toddlers often use food selection as a chance to exert their independence and test the authority of parents - which is why their favorite word is NO.

Between one and two years of age, children demonstrate certain food-related behavioral characteristics. Children try to eat with spoons; are able to drink from cups but have difficulty putting these down; eat with their hands; are easily distracted at mealtime; want the same food others are eating; display food preference; are messy eaters; and are good mimics.

Physical changes. The tremendous growth that occurs during a child’s first year slows down considerably as his second year begins. At this time, nutritional requirements decrease as kids take on less weight.

Swings in toddlers’ appetites (eating voraciously one day and skipping meals the next time) are normal at this stage of their development and should not be a cause for alarm. Children often make up for either a small or missed meal during the next mealtime. If they’re growing at the right rate they are, therefore, eating enough.

Who’s in control?

When feeding children, roles must be clearly defined. Parents are responsible for the preparation of healthy food and for the manner in which this is presented.

On the other hand, the decision to choose what and how much to eat of the food being offered rests with the child.

Studies show that as their growth rate decreases, toddlers have less appetite. But by following the natural cues of hunger and satiety, they are able to match food intake with their growing needs.

Researcher Susan Johnson and Lean Birch, a leading expert on child feeding, found that kids who freely determined their consumption successfully regulated their caloric intake. Conversely, those whose parents controlled their food intake were the least able to do so and even had higher levels of body fat.

As long as they provide healthy food, parents must learn to respect and trust their children’s judgment of what and how much to eat. Bribery or threats must be avoided. Accept it as final when kids say they’re full.

Forced feeding could make children nutritionally vulnerable. Toddlers are at the age where they make the transition from a predominantly milk diet to one which emphasizes adult food. So when over consumption of milk and low intake of iron-rich solid food occurs, this could lead to milk anemia.

Likewise, excessive juice intake can also displace more energy and nutrient dense foods.

Utilizing democratic means

Dealing with picky eaters is tricky business but adults stand a better chance of success if diplomacy rather than force is applied. Experts recommend a number of ways this could be done:

Prepare food in a number of ways. Variety is, indeed, the spice of life, so don’t focus entirely on the nutritional aspect of food but make sure this is presented differently and attractively.

Prepare meals that can be easily handled by kids. Toddlers like food cut into bite size pieces so initially, offer small servings and encourage them to ask for more. Also give the right amount of food. A good rule of thumb is to offer one tablespoon of each kind of food for every year of your child’s age. Serve more if your child is still hungry.

Feeding is a two-way relationship involving complex interactions between parent and child. Forcing the issue on picky eaters will not solve anything, though. Feeding is best when parents are sensitive to cues from their children about quantity, preference, timing, pacing and eating capabilities.

Meanwhile, children benefit most from feeding when they feel that they have support and control instead of pressure.

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