Q: "My 3-year old daughter is usually very well behaved, but whenever we get together with a few of my in-laws she starts misbehaving. She has never taken to either of them, and I honestly believe that she just doesn't like them. How can I make her behave and listen to people she doesn't like? We can't avoid them because they are family. I get so frustrated when they tell everyone she is a bad kid when her bad behavior is only because of them."

~ Robin

Answers from our members:

Robin wrote:

Well, I think we just made it through the first family gathering without a problem. My daughter didn't act up around them at all this time, and even the in-laws were better behaved. They got to see how well behaved she usually is, so I hope that at least lessens their comments about my daughter. Obviously, there were a lot of toys and activities the last few days to keep my little girl busy, and I also made a big deal about going to see everyone, tried to make it sound very exciting. It worked. Thanks for the advice.


Liza wrote:

Try involving your daughter and the in-laws in some sort of game or simple craft together. She may be fighting for your attention if you are involved in visiting with your relatives and not able to give her as much time as she'd like. Have a few lacing toys or a small magna-doodle around that she can use to entertain herself if needed.


Cindy wrote:

Have a bag of some favorite toys and activities on hand. When you sense the start of unwanted behavior redirect your daughter with a toy. Maybe even have some games or puzzles that your in-laws could help your daughter with.


Lisa wrote:

Sounds familiar. Try "talking them up" a week or so before you know you will see those relatives -- find positives to say about them to your child, and explain to her that God says we have to be kind to everyone, even if we don't feel like it. Then, just don't worry about it - 3 years old is still young and learning, and ignore negatives comments (unless of course, they say something negative in front of your child, then defend your child in front of them, saying she is NOT a bad child, but is working on manners around other people -- unfortunately, some ADULTS have never learned them!