Q: "I have a 4 yr old boy who won't let us leave his room at night after his story. He insists that we stay with him until he falls asleep. If he awakes during the night, he goes back to sleep ok once we tell him to. I think it started when we moved him from his crib to his bed. He always fell asleep by himself in his crib, but once we started telling stories at bedtime we wanted to stay in his room to make sure he stayed in bed. That was when he was 18 months. Now he is 4 yrs old. HELP! I have a 16 month old girl and I don't want the same headache with her."

~ DeAnna Parente

Answers from our members:

Cindy Bean wrote:

I had the same problem with my two year old daughter. She wanted me to lay down with her until she fell asleep. I asked her doctor what to do and he said to give her music to listen to.


Cindy wrote:

You may want to try a "gradual leave" method. Begin with leaving his room just before he is completely asleep, for a few days. Then leave a few minutes earlier the next few evenings. Then even earlier the following few evenings, and so on and so on untiol he is back to falling asleep virtually on his own.


anon@anon.com wrote:

Read about Bach Flower remedies, and use the appropriate one. I think it is Mimulus, which is for "fear of known things", which should work. Also, I agree with the idea about music. I have used tape or CD players since my kids were babies.


Becca wrote:

After I finish the bedtime stories for my boys 3 and 4 1/2, I turn on a music tape. We have a growing selection ranging from Pooh, to Veggie Tales, Mickey and books on tape. After I finish the story each evening they take turns choosing the music. It took a few days for them to get used to the routine but they like it and usually fall asleep before the tape is over.


Dorri wrote:

Turn on a music box to sooth him. Nothing with verbal words just music soft music. I'm watching a friend of mine go through heck right now because she let her daughter sleep with her all the time. She just put her into her own bed and she's 2 1/2 and expecting another. You have to reassure him that even if you're not in the room your only a room or 2 away and he can call to you if needed. But the music box usually works wonders. He wants you stay in the room for safety and comfort, but at 4 he should know that you are still close by.