Question: Our first-born is showing extreme jealousy towards the new baby. She's obviously mad at us for disrupting the predictable flow of her life with this new challenger for our attention. How can we smooth things out?

Think about it: Take a deep breath and be calm. This is a time of adjustment for everyone in the family. Reduce outside activities, relax your housekeeping standards, and focus on your current priority, adjusting to your new family size.

Be supportive: Acknowledge your child's unspoken feelings, such as "Things sure have changed with the new baby here. It's going to take us all some time to get used to this." Keep your comments mild and general. Don't say, "I bet you hate the new baby." Instead, say, "It must be hard to have Mommy spending so much time with the baby." or "I bet you wish we could go to the park now, and not have to wait for the baby to wake up." When your child knows that you understand her feelings, she'll have less need to act up to get your attention.