Question: This is embarrassing to talk about, but it's an annoying habit. My child picks his nose. I don't even want to tell you what he does with the stuff he finds in there. I can't stand to watch him do this, and I've been tempted to tell him to put it back in his nose where it belongs!

Think about it: Nose picking is often done to relieve anxiety and bring comfort. Because the nose is always at hand (excuse me, I couldn't resist!), it's an addictive habit.

Solution #1: Nagging or reprimanding your child won't stop the habit and will just embarrass her. Have a talk with your child and bring her attention to the habit (she may not be aware of how often she does it). Explain the reasons you'd like her to stop. Have her watch herself pick her nose in a mirror so that she can see how offensive it looks. Agree to a subtle, gentle reminder that you'll use to ask her to stop, such as a tap on her arm, handing her a tissue, or the use of a code word.

Solution #2: Notice the times your child demonstrates the habit most, such as when she's sitting in the car, reading, or watching TV. During those times, give her an alternative object to keep her hands busy, such as a string of beads, Silly PuttyTM, or a smooth rock.

Solution #3: Enlist your child's cooperation by talking gently with her about the habit. Once she has agreed to make an effort, your encouragement and consistent, gentle reminders will do more good than nagging or embarrassing her. Use a subconscious "trigger" to help your child. Have her do this: reach for her nose, then say "NO" as she quickly clasps her hands in her lap. Repeat this ten times, then repeat several times during the day. Surprisingly, after practicing, this "trigger" will then initiate itself without your child realizing it (like a habit!)

Solution #4: Set up an incentive for abstaining. Agree to a specified time period and a specific behavior modification. One plan is to give your child ten nickels (or pennies or dimes, depending on your child's age) first thing in the morning. Tell her that any time you see her picking her nose you'll ask for a nickel. At the end of the day, she can keep any of the nickels that are left.

(Excerpted with permission by NTC/Contemporary Publishing Group Inc. from Perfect Parenting, The Dictionary of 1,000 Parenting Tips by Elizabeth Pantley, copyright 1999)

About the Author
Elizabeth Pantley is author of Perfect Parenting, Kid Cooperation, & Hidden Messages as well as president of Better Beginnings, Inc. She is a popular speaker on family issues. Elizabeth’s newsletter, Parent Tips is seen in schools nationwide. She appears as a regular radio show guest and has been quoted in Parents, Parenting, Redbook, Good Housekeeping, American Baby, Twins, Working Mother, and Woman’s Day magazines. You can visit her website at http://www.pantley.com/elizabeth/

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