sorry you're having that problem with your daughter--don't feel bad about though, it happens to most of us, whether it's a daughter or a son, to different degrees to be sure.
My pain in the butt is now 21, married with a beautiful son of 1yr.
The last two years she was at home she was so hateful to everyone, especially me. In fact, I found letters that she wrote wishing that I would die on my way to work, her cousin had also wrote the same type of letter about her mom and I had that letter too. She has never told me what the problem may have been-but I do believe that she was into the wrong crowd (for a short time), there may have been drugs involved (also for a short time, probably a one time thing). She wanted to move out and move in with her boyfriend when she started her senior year of high school but I wouldn't let her. I told her she had to graduate with good grades before she could move out, no matter who she moved in with. I certainly didn't want her moving in with her boyfriend but there was no way I was going to be able to stop that. My daughter seemed to have adopted her boyfriends family and she acted like we weren't her family, just people she lived with. The day she graduated she moved out, actually she had moved her stuff out three days before her graduation day-I wouldn't let her leave until she had her diploma.
That may not sound like much to some people, but she knew I meant business and I would go after her if she tried to move out before I said she could. Even though she acted like she hated me, she would mind pretty much, she wasn't always home exactly when I told her to be, but I knew where she was and could get hold of her if I needed to.
She has since gotten pregnant, carried to full term and lost her first son when he was two days old. She and her boyfriend (the father of her son and the boy she left home for) got married a year later, 2000 and in 2001 she delivered another son with no problems.
She and I get along, although it's hard for me to pretend that nothing ever happened and that I wasn't deeply hurt--but then she knows that she hurt me bad and we're trying to have a relationship.
My suggestion to you is that you make sure she understands what your ground rules are (she should know by age 16) and you need to decide which battles are really worth fighting! All her arguing and such is usually just testing you to see what you're going to allow. If you have to just leave the room if she's screaming at you and you find yourself screaming back-that does no good. My girls will tell you that I love to lecture, but at some point you have to shut up. My oldest daughter once told me, after she was out of the house, married and pregnant with her first daughter-that she really appreciated the lectures I gave her-even though she wished I wouldn't at the time, some of it did get through. Of course, she was never the problem her sister was. My problem child was also my middle child, sometimes that's a reason they act out so much, they feel they have no real identity.
Take a deep breath, pray alot as suggested in the previous replies and leave the room when it gets to loud, when she doesn't have someone to abuse she'll start thinking, although it does take awhile and there may not be a change until after she's left home for awhile.