Birthday ideas for Stepsons- age 9

[Lisa Fields]

Anybody else out there have trouble figuring out what to buy for birthdays for kids that don't live with you? My twin stepsons will be turning 9 soon and every birthday and Christmas is always horrible trying to pick a gift. It is always a big turmoil for several reasons. We don't see them enough to get them stuff for our house and we hate to buy stuff to send home with them. First, they live in the house with their maternal grandparents who buy them everything so they are not lacking for anything. Anything we buy for them we always hear about them having bigger and better at their house. They have been taught no manners about receiving gifts. Usually they just toss it aside and occasionally they have just flat out said "I don't like this." We also hate to buy them anything expensive because they don't take care of any of their things and if their mother or grandmother doesn't like it for any reason they just throw it out. We struggle financially every month so it kills us to buy something that will be trashed or thrown out when our kids that live at home will go without and would have been grateful for it.

Having said all this, anybody have any suggestions on what they would buy?

[dawny75]

For future birthdays, maybe you could give them an experience rather than a gift.

Take them somewhere special, preferably somewhere their other relatives wouldn't be likely to take them. Give them gift certificate to the place (even if you have to make one) and let them redeem it at the appropriate time. Take pictures!

Some ideas:
Medieval Times, Magic Time Machine or Rainforest Cafe type restaurants. These are 'themed' restaurants. Fairly expensive, food is generally just ok, but the experience is lots of fun.

Theme parks like Disney, Six Flags or Seaworld. If you live close enough, take them somewhere overwhelmingly exciting for one day. At many parks, there is a picnic area if you want to pack a lunch to save money and have some down time.

Renaissance Festivals are lots of fun for kids. We have two big ones here in Texas each year, maybe there are some in your area. Buy each boy a Robin Hood hat and sword and let them run all over the fair.

Another idea is to enroll them for lessons or classes of some kind. I know scheduling can be a factor when divorce is involved, but maybe you can find a one-time workshop on a topic the boys love (making rockets, Yu-Gi-Oh, bugs, star-gazing, etc.). Check with the parks and rec department, the YMCA, local museums, the public schools, the library, etc.). Good luck! Dawn

[Lisa Fields]

Dawny,
Thank you for the great idea! I'm not sure if it will work for us but I certainly will look into. We live in a pretty rural area and there are no themed restaurants or amusement areas within a 5-hour drive from here. We cannot take the boys out of town, even though the court allowed it in the custody agreement, because my husband's folks live in Idaho and the maternal grandma gets all dramatic and says we will "leave the state" with them. We often visit my dh's family that lives in the state, about a 5 hour drive from us, but if we tell her that is where we are going she won't let the boys go. She will make sure not to be home or will just not answer the door when it is time for us to pick them up. It got to where we had to literally go back to court every holiday or planned trip so our lawyers could agree on a specific schedule and her lawyer would have to tell her to stick to it, then sometimes she still wouldn't. So we just stopped trying. It cost A LOT of money to keep going over the same thing and we just couldn't do it. I never did understand why the court kept allowing her to act like that over and over again without any sort of change of custody arrangements. She was being just plain vicious. Anyway, I guess I am rambling. This is just a really hot subject for me! We do have a discovery museum about 30 minutes from here so I will see what kind of displays they have. Thanks again!