Adult child moving home.

[happymomof4]

If you have an adult child moving back home. What kind of ground rules, if any do you set?

[ajrsmom]

There was a time, when I had a lot of problems with my first husband, that my Dad allowed me to move back home. I was a responsible person so all he asked of me was that I pitch in to buy groceries and help with things around the house -- now, at the time, it was just him and my irresponsible sister living at home - so I think that he sort of welcomed having me there. I was always close to my Dad. I never took advantage of him or the chance he gave me to get my life together and move on from my ex.

I think that a time line should be worked out for how long you will allow this child to stay with you. Will they be paying rent? for food? Will they help with chores around the house?

I would make it clear that your home is not a hotel - where they can come and go whenever they want with no regards to you and the people living in the house.

[cat lover]

Both of my DS's moved in and out a few times a long time ago. The rules we set were:
1) they had to maintain a full time job OR part time if going to school
2) they had to pay rent which was based on their income
3) they were expected to help out around the house
that was about all the basic rules we had set up, there were others that came up as needed if they were needed.
One other thng we did, if either of us had an issue with the other we talked about it and got it worked out right away.

[DeBora4BobbyL]

If the adult child is able to move into his/her own place, they should. However, sometimes things happen in which the adult child cannot obtain employment or a residence or even the parents may need the adult child's assistance. In that case, there should be rules as to what that adult child should be responsible for. For example, he/she may be required to pay a specific amount of rent, do specific chores, and so on. My DS moved in with me in early November. He was going to look for a place to live, but I told him that he is an enormous help to me while I am raising my grandchildren. He does MORE than his share of work. So, he is of benefit to me as I am to him.

[RobertaD]

When my sister who couldn't find a job after college and my step-brother moved back home our parents made them each pay $100 a month "rent" plus any personal bills, do their own laundry, help keep the house & yard clean and tidy, they also had to be in by midnight with no staying out all night. My sister had to be job hunting for a full time job and she did work temp jobs while our step-brother went back to school to get his GED and picked up odds jobs to cover his bills.

Of course this was 25 yrs ago so you might charge a little more to cover the increase in utilities and groceries.

Roberta

[CHADSMOM]

I allowed my adult daughter and her two kids to move back in with me as a temporary arrangement. She and my granddaughter shared a bedroom and my son shared his bed with my grandson. (her things were in storage). She had problems with her landlady not upgrading the heat system and she paid her rent every month. There were several other items that the land lady failed to make right. We had rules though too. She was working full time and also had a part time job. I helped her out on daycare if I didn't have any plans of my own. She pitched in on groceries, light bill, phone, satellite tv. She gave me $90 weekly, which I thought was fair. She had to keep the house cleaned up just like we did. She did well overall. I was happy however to get my house back when she found another place to rent that suited her. I love my quiet time when I need it, and when I need a "never a dull moment" time I just go and pick up a few grandkids to take care of that! LOL! Everything seems to work itself out.

[mom]

Sometimes it's hard for kids once they have been out on their own to move back home. When my kids moved back home we had certain house rules, but my son had trouble keeping/obeying them so we had to encourage him to move out so-to-speak.