mentaly unstable adult children

**bluebird** · #1 (**permalink**) 12-03-2008, 07:10 AM

I don't mean from drug use ...... I mean adult kids who have mental problems. I feel like I am the only parent who has this problem. We do not have guardianship of him. IF he would work with counselors and take his meds, he could be a halfway stable person. Bottom line is he is too lazy to do so. Does anyone else have this heartbreak?

Darlene · #2 (**permalink**) 12-03-2008, 09:40 AM

My daughter is bipolar and also physically handicapped with CP. It is very hard she lives on her own and works. She gets a lot of help from the county and the state. Ohio is very good at helping her.

**bluebird** · #3 (**permalink**) 12-03-2008, 11:52 AM

Hi! My son is married, they live off her SSI. He has never gotten SSI. Nebraska has not been good to us or him. He is bipolar, clinicly depressed, ADHD, his heart problems are transpostition, pulomary stenosis. He has had open heart surgery, other heart surgeries and the mental problems. He will not even try. He can't keep a job because his wife needs someone to boss around and do the work. It is heartbreaking for us.

myan · #4 (**permalink**) 12-07-2008, 01:49 AM

I don't know if this applies here, but I have a brother(will call him T) whom will be 59 yrs old come June, and he lives in California behind a grocery store in the bushes. I just got word yesterday that his former boss, does check up on him and tries to get him to come back to work....(he sold pictures(?) on the side of roadways) but my brother "T" has always been very lazy and now it's even worse. He told his former boss to leave him alone...he likes living and doing what he is doing. His former boss told my other brother (J) that "T" is dirty, smells and his shoes are falling off of his feet...his clothes are tattered and worn. Both my brother "J" and I are just miffed....we were not brought up like this (our parents are gone) and yet "T" wants to live as he does. Each one of us kids (there are 5 of us) have helped "T" many many times but he doesn't want any help. Now my brother "J" is calling the rest of us siblings to take part in getting a care package together to send to "T's" former boss and get those items to him. This is so hurtful but what else can we do? We each have our own families and we have helped him so much but he won't help himself. What is the answer?????

**bluebird** · #5 (**permalink**) 12-07-2008, 12:38 PM

Yes.! What is the answer..... My son and his wife, do not understand that if they want X then they need to pay for it. If she works she loses SSI. Peroid. She needs SSI but she also has never been around stable people to know how to act. Honestly I don't know IF she can be a stable adult. I know part of her dx.... she also thinks being ill and being loved are the same thing. She in a way has taken advantage of my son and my son her. She provides the money and sex, he is her possesion. They are happy in thier relationship. They are not stable adults. I will not have them in my home nor will I be around them much. Their temper fits are horrible and have landed them in jail. They are on the strictest probation, one step from the work camp. I am surprised they have keep thier noses clean for a few months. She was doing to the doctor so much that HHS stepped in and now she can only see the doctor X times a month. What about treating the mental problem behind the 'need' to see the doctor all the time?

Have you thought about asking the courst to become your brothers guardian? We have thought about it. Then of course you are responsible for them.

My son and his wife 'take care' of themselves. They keep the rent, gas, water and phone paid. As for feeding themselves......... they are like a couple of little kids. Lots of junk food, starches..... dil is having high blood sugar and is now on medication. Of course they think this is great. More attention!! My son needs to drop a good 50 pounds, dil at least 130 pounds. I have bought clothes at thrift stores for them. That is what I can afford but I make sure they are nice clothes. They give them back thinking they are helping us out. Hello? My other kids would never wear anything from them AND nothing would fit.

I did see a website in the paper about needing help with your kids. I will be logging on to it.

What did you decide to do about your brother?