Starting fresh

[Crafty Amanda]

Wow you guys, thanks! It's really nice to see others in the same boat as me I've been doing well for the last two days. I even went to my son's baseball game yesterday and didn't feel ashamed since I had showered, done my hair, and had on make up

Today my dilemma was how to get the kids to and from summer school. My dh took my van to trade it in on an Expedition (YEAH! A '99, not brand new, but beautiful just the same!). So I have his pick up, but you can't fit 4 kids and one adult in a pick up! So I'll be walking I wouldn't mind but there's a HORRENDOUS hill up to the school, I'm going to be dying LOL!

Thank you all for all of your support, I feel so much better with you all here!

[SueAnn]

Amanda, I wan to thank you for starting this thread. i tto have been in a frumpy mode. I read this thread yeasterday. Since then i have gone to the gym and decided that while I am off work (surgery) in is a good time to try a get my life healthier and less frumpy. I started and food diary today not to go on ANOTHER diet but to see where I am the most likely to cheat with foods I should not eat. I made an appointment to get my hair done. So... I think I am on the starting back on the right track. It is nice to know that there are others in the same boat. I have a feeling that this is going to be a very popular thread.

Thanks Again,
Sue

[mrs_helm]

I just wanted to share that it happens to working moms, too.

I work in the computer field, and I'm usually the only woman in the department. So I don't get to compare wardrobes much. When I got preggy with my 2nd DS, I became lax about what I was wearing, and of course afterward I was so wrapped up in being a mom to 2 that I also relaxed my standards on hair and makeup.

For me there have been a series of wakeup calls and gradual improvement (and still working on it).

There was the time I ran across someone from my hometown (5 states away) in the grocery store, and worried for a week about what they told my old friends.

There was a day when I realized I was wearing the exact same thing as someone else at work - a guy. I don't wear golf shirts any more. LOL!

I was in my sister's wedding, and we had our hair and nails done. My DH raved. When I got back, everyone raved. I looked totally different. It wasn't so hard to keep up - actually, a nice hairstyle is easier than making overgrown hair in a ponytail look nice! And it all felt so good. ;-)

Since I moved to another state, I had enjoyed some anonymity for a while. Well, I was at the store the other day and the cashier started asking me about my kids (who weren't with me) - she's their Sunday school teacher. I should have recognized her. I realized I have been here 5 years - people do know me, and I know some folks, too. *I* have just been walking around with blinders on!!

FlyLady.net has influenced me greatly - her reminders to take care of ourselves, be ready for anything, etc.

The biggest difference hasn't been in one area - just a diet, or just changing clothes, or just getting out more. The over-riding factor is:
******* make "myself" a priority in my life*********

When I take care of myself, I am more likely to dress nice, eat right, and be friendly to others.

[CINDY016]

Hi Everyone........

I cannot tell you what a relief it is knowing that I am not alone in this "prison of ho hums". I up till my daughter was born, use to run computer opeations at a major company, go bowling, dancing on the weekends...and just looking down right fabulous! But just as a book has chapters, so do our lives. I til my daughter, was a full time worker & part time mom......now full time mom and part time...... (blank page).
From having 3 children & single to 6 children, a husband, an ailing mom with alzheimers disease and pets! So at first who had time to look good.
I am now 50 pounds heavier........a combo of being smoke free of 6 years after 25 years of huffing & puffing (yeah...and no regrets) a hypothyroid(which runs in my family), and no major activity that consists of sweating. So years of putting myself at the bottom of the "food chain" I to had become the "look what the cat dragged in".....
I every so often I do wear make up,(very rusty at that) I try and keep on top of the the root situation(grey ones) and when I do, that is usually when I find mysef dressing up a bit more.
As much as I loved my long over bleached hair, I did treat myself to a salon hair pamper day....and that did wonders! (just to costly to do all the time) I cut off 2 feet of hair which was always tied in a scrunchie, and doing it again I must confess, but the point is...........it is the little changes that start the domino affect of big changes.
I cannot change the way I look weight wise because of my health, but I can improvise. I after years of wearing glasses went to the eye doctor (over due some what) and ordered my 1st pair of contact lenses. I decided it was time to show my face again, and my pretty brown eyes that did hide behind bifocals.......Every woman is a beautiful woman........you just need to first accept who you are, then work around it!
Body glitter .....works like a chain reaction. Start with a little glitter and next thing you know, the make-up, the hair.....etc. Works for me all the time.....just use caution with the sweet smelling kinds, or you'll have more than your man buzzing around you (i hate bees!)
As for the T-shirt & stretchy pants....who says Hooters are the only ones allowed to wear their T's that way!


"Before I got married, I had six theories about bringing
up children. Now I have six children and no theories."

Regards Always

Cindy

[fatima bento]

It'sgreat not to feel unfited - thinking we are the only ones with looks problems. There is one thing that made me feel releaved: I thought I was the only one who wouldnt take a morning shower every day - I really felt ashamed by it ! I do feel I'm not alone there!
I'm kinda overweight, but I'm trying to make some lemonade with the lemons I have - lol - and bought some pretty clothes to fit my actual size. Also cuted my hair short - when one's never in the mood to make an effort to make oneself look nice, that is the right solution. And that raised another problem : have to play atention tho my upper lip shadow, have to wax it more often. But I do look sharper with almost no effort.;-)
I'm so glad you created this thread, Amanda! It's so great to talk to people who experience the same difficulties!

Keep up the good work!!

Fatima

[nagymom]

Hoo boy you are all describing me! I was diagnosed diabetic last year and lost 42 pounds in 4 months, with LOTS more to go. I was actually feeling good about the way I looked when my DH lost his job. I went into a tail spin and re-gained about 20 pounds and now can't STAND the reflection staring back at me when I catch a glimpse in a passing window, etc. I am determined to get back on track but it's not easy. I am a SAH Nana, babysitting my 3 grandkids. Top this off with the move we're getting ready to make for the great new job and you can understand how I'm ready to blow a cork some days! I know I need to get out and walk the local track with the kids but it has been so hot recently with air quality alerts tossed in. I HATE being so grouchy with my grands and know part of it is my self image problem. I see other grandmothers out with the kiddies and I look so frumpy, yet I'm only 48! No matter what I wear, it looks just awful on me. Thanks SO much for giving us a place to vent Amanda!
DH has been out of town all week and will be home this afternoon before going back to the new location. The rest of us will join him later this month. I think I'll surprise him with some make-up even if he does say he doesn't care if I wear it or not! I think I look better and that lifts my spirits. :p

[ajrsmom]

"bought some pretty clothes to fit my actual size."


I think you hit the nail right on the head saying that. Im a "plus" sized too and I know that I look sloppy in baggy sweats and my DH's t-shirts even though I continue to wear them around the house.

I think there is something to be said about well-dressed person -not just paying a lot of money for the outfit. Its how the clothes fit and the over all look that is important.

Ive been tossing around the idea of getting a whole new hairstyle but Im so afraid !! My hair is so thin and limp that I usually get a spiral perm but the other day I found a nice hairstyle in a magazine that I was reading.....HHHHMMMM....do I have the nerve to do it ?


LOL ! I tried to use the quote button but I screwed it up !!! How do you make a quote box like that anyway ?

[nagymom]

If you have a hairdresser you can trust, then ask for their opinion. A good hairdresser is worth their weight in gold! We had a place in Alabama where you could go and see computer images of your face with hairstyles you picked out of a book. The inventor of this SHOULD be rich! A great haircut can lift your spirits like a whole box of chocolates without the calories. Good luck! I have the fine and thin baby hair problem too, inherited from one of my grandmothers. My sisters and all 3 daughters have heads of hair to kill for and I look like I have 30 strands of hair on my head.

[mulberry204]

Amanda - Good for you, taking time for yourself is very positive. I remember when I was in school and money was super tight. I got out of the habit of even going into clothing stores. When I finally graduated and needed a new wardrobe, I felt so out of place in stores. I didn't have a clue of what to buy. I kept heading towards the same old things - big shirts, pants, etc. When I started doing my nails, getting my hair done, and putting on makeup, everything started to come together and I realized I was worth the time and expense. Now I don't look great but I look better. I try to exercise at the gym five days a week, I keep up my hair, and paint my nails. I feel better inside, so I look better outside. I hope you aren't at all depressed, it is so easy to slip into depression. I noticed a friend who just kind of stopped caring, one thing at a time. She is much better now and it shows - there's a happy glow about her. I hope you make lots of time for yourself and do some fun things just for you. I'm rooting for you.
Your kids will be so proud of you too. Good luck.

[Lissco]

It seems that this topic is more popular than we realize.
I too have a frumpy problem. But I am a full time employee with a dh and ds at home. My job is not hard or physically demanding. Mostly I just sit and work on the computer and answer the phone. Unfortunately, by the end of the day I am mentally exhausted but physically Im not tired at all. But its the mental aspect that keeps me from going home to exercise or go for a walk. I usually fix dinner and then sit down to watch tv or read. ( No calorie expenditure there! ) At 36, Im finding that Im tired of going on diets and exercising my heart out to loose 15-20 lbs, only to gain back 25-30 lbs! I dont want to just give up, because I know that its because of my poor habits and decisions that cause me to feel so awful. But Im tired of trying and failing.
I have started walking each morning for 30 minutes which is 2 miles. That makes me feel a little better, but I need to get a grip on my overeating and snacking. If anyone out there has any tips or suggestions that I may not have heard of or tried I would love to hear them. Having my jaws wired shut is not an option
I am praying for a healing in this area and I know it will come. I appreciate everyone for their suggestions and will accept any and all prayers
Thanks