Visit FamilyCorner.com for tons of seasonal ideas!
quick link - go to our home page quick link - kid's crafts, family fun, printables, etc quick link - sign up for our free newsletter quick link - holiday crafts, recipes and ideas quick link - gardening, organizing, saving money, decorating and more quick link - our FunBook is filled with lots of quick ideas, tips and crafts quick link - join our bustling community of friendly members


Go Back   FamilyCorner.com Forums > Relationships > Family & Friends > Neighbors

Neighbors How do you get along with your neighbors?

Reply
 
Thread Tools Rate Thread
  #1 (permalink)  
Old 01-28-2004, 06:00 AM
leasmom's Avatar
Six Year Member
FamilyCorner Fanatic
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Louisville, Ky
Posts: 2,897
Neighbors think I'm SUPPOSED to take their g.son to school

Okay, I had a feeling about my nieghbors that they were moochers, right. I didn't mess with them, I've left them alone and occasionally I would run them up to the store or take their grandson to school. Their son-n-law lives right next door to them and has a car and he would never do this for them and I couldn't understand why. Well, when it got cold they ask me if I would drop their g.son off at school. I said fine...but then they started knocking everyday. One time I went to warm up the car and he was getting into the cold car. Another time the boy sat in the front and dd had to sit in the back. I thought that was odd. He never said anything,no thank you nothing. So, here I am with neighbors who are assuming that I am going to take him everyday even though there isn't but a small tiny amount of snow on the ground. They were walking before I moved there and walking in snow, cold etc. but suddenly since last week they aren't taking their grandson to school at 7:30 for breakfast like they normally do they're waiting until I go.

So, I talked to my sister and told her that for some reason I end up having moochers to deal with and it must be my Karma until I confront this problem head on, I'll keep having situations like this. I tend to try to slick, hint and avoid my way out of situations like this, right. So, I decided that I would tell the grandfather when he knocked on my door that I could take the boy today but that this wasn't going to be an everyday thing. So, he left and I went and warmed up the car and came in and then the wife, the grandmother knocked on the door. She asked if her grandson was acting up. I said no. She said why then did I not want to take her grandson. First of all, I never said I would take him everyday of his life to school. I did this as a favor!!! So, I told her, I just don't think I should have to. She said, "OH..." and I said, yes oh...like the nerve!!! She really believes that I am to take him daily, NO!

When dd and I didn't have a car, (for years we've not had a car, we've only had one for a year), we never expect anyone to take us anywhere. We always walked and I would never just show up and expect someone to do anything for me. I even had people roll past me when I had 6 to 8 bags in my hands and I never asked them to help me as I walked up hill!!! But they do!!! And I feel that they are trying to take advantage of my kindness and I don't like it!!!

Am I wrong???

P.S. SHe came to me and said her son-n-law would take him. I said okay. Then when we went to the car she said she hoped she didn't offend me. I said no but I never said I would do this everyday. She then had her son-n-law take him to school.

Last edited by leasmom; 01-28-2004 at 06:16 AM.
Reply With Quote
  #2 (permalink)  
Old 01-28-2004, 06:24 AM
Member
FamilyCorner Newbie
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: USA
Posts: 55
No, your not wrong. I can see doing it once in a while but to me that morning time is extra time for just you and your child. I say stick to your guns. U are doing the right thing. Some people just need to learn how to take care of them self without asking when they really can do it themselves. Are the afraid they are going to freeze??

Lisa
Reply With Quote
  #3 (permalink)  
Old 01-28-2004, 06:26 AM
leasmom's Avatar
Six Year Member
FamilyCorner Fanatic
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Louisville, Ky
Posts: 2,897
THey were walking in the cold etc

before last week and before I moved there. Her son-n-law once told me that she was a moocher and that they expect you to do stuff for them and so that's why he doesn't take them grocery shopping etc. I wondered cause they live right next door. But, now I see why...
Reply With Quote
  #4 (permalink)  
Old 01-28-2004, 06:38 AM
Abear's Avatar
Nine Year Member
FamilyCorner Fanatic
 
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Heart of Cajun Country
Posts: 4,607
Note: This thread has been moved from the Idle Chit Chat Forum to the Neighbors Forum.

__________________
Hook 'Em Horns!!!!
Reply With Quote
  #5 (permalink)  
Old 01-28-2004, 08:33 AM
Lifestar's Avatar
Nine Year Member
FamilyCorner Junkie
 
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: I'm in a New York State of Mind
Posts: 1,823
Leasmom..

You're not wrong..

Around here, in a situation like this.. neighborhood moms usually car-pool..or they come to an agreement... Gas money is given to the mom who drives all the kids all the time.... or if one mom is always driving.. then the other mom is always doing some other "chore" that involves both kids.. like a Saturday playdate or something... It always involves mutual consent..and a sense of balance..or give-and-take.


Last year, I drove my daughter to school every day because of a knee injury..and in bad weather, I also picked up 3 of her friends... By choice.. The moms all sent thank-you notes and one gave me a little gift.. All unnecessary, but so sweet...

The attitude of "entitlement" exhibited by the grandaparents of this child is totally out of line..and that word is what nails it on the head.

I have met many people like that.. People that feel "the world Owes them something"... and if you let them.. they will walk all over you.

You are right for putting your foot down..and you need to tell them that they are not entitled to your "services" That asking for a favor can be answered Yes or No.. but you will make the decision of what you can give...

Arrogance is a hallmark of the behavior that often comes from folks like this..so don't wory about it.

Too bad the g-son is cought in the middle. You could always tell him dierctly what you expect of him ( ie: the words "Thank You" ) and that he ask for a ride before he ever approaches your car in the future... Maybe the next generation can be taught...

Sorry if my words are strong.. but this subject touches a nerve with me too..can you tell!? lol!!

Val
Reply With Quote
  #6 (permalink)  
Old 01-28-2004, 08:50 AM
BoggsZ
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Leasmom i dont think your wrong either i dont like taking others kids that i dont know very well what if something would happen thats way i dont haul the neighbors kid anymore.
Reply With Quote
  #7 (permalink)  
Old 01-28-2004, 02:57 PM
mom2-4's Avatar
Moderator
FamilyCorner Fanatic
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: PA
Posts: 3,350
Leasmom, I also think you should stick to your guns.

I went through a situation similar to yours. And, my husband and I had to set our foot down, and now the neighbors won't speak to us. Which is not hurting me or my husband, but both our daughters, the neighbors and mine. As now they won't allow their daughter to play with our daughter, just because we won't watch their child ALL the time.

But, in your situation, I don't think it is hurting the kids.
__________________
Karen

When I was young, I always said I wanted to be someone...I guess I should have been more specific!
Reply With Quote
  #8 (permalink)  
Old 01-28-2004, 03:31 PM
Songberries's Avatar
Nine Year Member
FamilyCorner Junkie
 
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Brigham City, Utah
Posts: 1,216
Patrice - isn't it funny how people can take advantage of you when you try to do something nice. I think you did the right thing. We have some neighbors who we've gotten to be friends with over the years. They borrowed our lawn mower every day last summer, and they've borrowed many things over the years. The one time we needed to borrow something, Doug said oh sure not a problem, but when Laurie found out she hit the roof and said she didn't pay good money for that just to let Doug loan it out! Geez! We just figured we'd never ask to borrow anything again. They're still our friends, and we kind of laugh about it all behind their back. I've found that it's easier to get along with people if you know what their limitations are. With you being a single mom, you need to look out for yourself, and you have done such a good job of taking care of you and your daugher, it was probably kind of a rude awakening to have someone just take advantage of you.

Carol

__________________
Everyone who has ever taken a shower has had an idea. It's the person who gets out of the shower, dries off, and does something about it that makes a difference.
- Nolan Bushnell
Reply With Quote
  #9 (permalink)  
Old 02-19-2004, 07:59 PM
stuckathomemom's Avatar
Eight Year Member
FamilyCorner Groupie
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Illinois
Posts: 492
i think you did the right thing by doing what you did some people do like to try to take advantage of a situation like my hubbys ex wifes mom and dad they expect my hubby to do things for them even though he isnt related to them and now he dont see his daughter that lives with them because they tell her not to come over here or something but he has two sons and a daughter here too so he says he has his family
Reply With Quote
  #10 (permalink)  
Old 02-20-2004, 06:31 AM
leasmom's Avatar
Six Year Member
FamilyCorner Fanatic
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Louisville, Ky
Posts: 2,897
They've been having the son-n-law take him

which is what they should've been doing instead of relying on me. But, the last couple of days the son-n-law hasn't taken him so I guess he got tired of it or he's only taking him when its snowed...either way, I'm glad I did it!!!
Reply With Quote
 
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Rate This Thread
Rate This Thread:

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Problems missing school StepMom22 Elementary Aged Kids 11 02-08-2014 07:49 AM
HIgh school Appeal madmum High School 11 07-02-2009 03:55 PM
High School Musical DVD Game Amanda Movies & DVDs 0 11-12-2008 10:50 AM
What Did You Do Frugal Today - 19 barbszy What Did You Do Frugal Today 1474 08-11-2007 07:29 AM
School bans tag, other chase games---Your Opinion? ajrsmom Education 32 11-04-2006 07:28 AM


All times are GMT -8. The time now is 03:25 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
SEO by vBSEO 3.6.1
Copyright 1997-2012, FamilyCorner.com Magazine, Inc. an Internet Brands company

POPULAR AREAS OF FAMILYCORNER.COM

Our Family FunBook is packed full of ideas from parents just like you!

Our members say that they have never found a friendlier message board community than ours!

Our kid's craft section is filled with easy ideas for creative little minds.

We have tons of free printable coloring pages to keep your little ones happy.

We offer a wide variety of free newsletters delivered right to your inbox.

Our Household Hints & Tips have a wealth of information on cleaning, organizing, and more!
Go to the funbook Go to forums Go to kid's crafts Go to printables Go to newsletters Go to Hints & Tips

Home || Newsletters || Advertising || Terms of Use || Privacy || Services || Submissions || Contact Us || Media Opportunities || Link To Us || Shop || Feedback || Staff || e-Cards || Reminder Service



FamilyCorner.com® is sponsored in part by...




Visit our friends --> MomsMenu | Main Street Mom | She Knows | Baby University | Personal Fitness Zone | iChef.com

Copyright Notice | Privacy Policy | Terms of Use/Disclaimer