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Moms of 3 or More Do you have 3 or more children? Often times, parents with 3 or more kids face challenges that those of 1 or 2 just do not. This board was set up for those parents to ask others how they cope with issues such as making time for each child, who stays u

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Old 01-11-2002, 10:02 AM
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Arrow Chores

But, Cindy, life is NOT fair! If it were, you wouldn't be saddled with children who complain and whine about helping out around the house ... the house that you and your husband worked hard to earn the money to buy and where they live free ... the house that gets cleaned mostly by you (specially when they were babies) which they help to mess up ... the house that doesn't magically produce food yet they are glad to eat ...

I would definitely make up a list of ALL the chores around the house, and then assign certain ones to the oldest children. Then make sure they understand that you are doing all the rest of the chores ... and then ask if that's fair - if they think so, let them explain why. If nothing else, it will be a great experience in debating! LOL! :D

If you're looking for a program, try Chores and Rewards.

Kelly H.
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Old 06-25-2002, 06:34 AM
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In thinking about how to get the kids to pick up thing around the house (because they are the ones who leave it on the floor), I thought if every one picks up a few items it could all get cleaned up fairly rapidly with little fuss. So each person picks up a cretain number of items (item being something larger than your unbent hand), the first one done recieves the priviledge of picking the video to watch, game to play, story to be read or other reward, the last one to have their items put away must vacuum the floor. This can be done when there are many or few items and can include restrictions on which items (such as 2 of the 10 must be from under the table) to make it equtable for all. It has also become a reply to "Can I...(watch a video, play something or somewhere)?", makes it a whole lot easier to keep the house clean.
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Old 06-25-2002, 03:46 PM
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This is the current problem at our house. My kids think they should spend their day playing with friends and eating. I told them today "You are not on a cruise ship, and I am not the scullery maid"!!!

We've started a cleaning day for the summer. It's Thursday, for now, because I don't like to clean on Friday. I did have good luck writing down the chores I expected them to finish that day. I don't know what the difference was, but they liked to have a list.

Good luck!
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Old 06-15-2004, 05:07 PM
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CHores! ARGH!!! We have endless brainstorming sessions about this but can never agree on how much is too much/little, allowance for chores/no allowance, chores are a part of family duty, etc....Hubby and I WAR on this! We just are trying to come to a happy medium! I always had them do little to none, hubby thinks they should do quite a bit, and now as they are older they balk and now i really could use the help. They do trash, pets, and their room, and thats it. Thery did more last year for a trial period and it was horrid, they especially my oldest, acted as if we were treating them like slaves. All they did "extra was dishes and wiping counters, dusting. Now I am ready to really make a serious chore list, but even when we take away much loved privileges, they just do it all half way. i have tried showing them what I expect to no avail. My older one even talks of moving to his dad's because he doesn't ask him to do anything. GRRR! I hope to get this all worked out but it is so frustrating to find the right balance and then the right way to make sure it gets done! Hubby always had lots of chores and so did i growing up The result, he feels strongly that it should be alot,, i feel strongly that we should go easy because i struggled to do all i had to do...
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Old 06-18-2004, 09:22 AM
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Chores

Maybe a round table discussion of the purpose for chores ought to be held. Are chores a)busy work to give some one something to do to; b)work that if not done by members of the household would have to be done by paid help; c)work that is required as a priviledge for living in this household; d)a responsibility that done well rewards the worker with extra priviledges; e)a work-in-training program so that the child learns how to run his own household?
Some things to consider when discussing each of these points (there may be other reason I have not listed); a is a great creater of arguments. Hands down that reason will create more arguments than any other reason, not that other reasons won't, but that one almost carries a guarantee of arguments. Reason b requires an outlay of money that may or may not be at your disposal. One of the Marx brothers stated that he liked money because he didn't like doing a lot of things that were necessary and so lots of money came in handy because one could pay another to do any or all of the things he didn't like to do! Reason c can work two ways in a divorce situation, but one thing has to be realized, all these chores must be done by someone, no matter in which household a person lives! Either these chores are all or almost all done by one person (a basic slave), they are not done at all and the house is a mess, or the responsibilities are shared so that no one person is a slave yet no one is a king/queen. Reason d is one that has its limits and its stages. My children know that in order to go to the neighbors house certain things had to be done, first came the balking and the need for disciplinary action, then came the acceptance with having to remind them of everything, then came the realization that if I get it all done before asking I can stay at my friends house longer and I no longer have to ask but once in awhile because they don't always remember all. Reason e is an "ultimate goal" reason. In certain cultures by the time a child was 13 they were responsible for everything that pertained to them, ie getting up on time, their clothing, grooming, appointments, transportation, etc. only what they could not do for themselves was done by others by agreement. That might give an almost competitive spirit among that age group and older to see who has the most independence without the shame of undone items (dirty rooms, unkempt appearance, etc.). In all of this discipline is a key, for without the fences of discipline there is no self-esteem.
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